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avinyl

avinyl - photo 1
avinyl - photo 2
avinyl - photo 3
avinyl - photo 4
avinyl - photo 5
avinyl - photo 6

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Friends:
pOaWDominusNoctistopheavyswitchSirCosTrueleader
MissJaninesboyLadyHenriettaTwylightFadingcharlotteS

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It's complicated. And very, very simple.

I am currently involved with a man whom I love and respect very much. Therefore, I am not looking for a relationship, or play, or training with any other men. I would love to welcome anyone into my/our circle of friends, but please understand that limit starting out.

Where females are concerned, I'm (we are)throwing out a much broader net. For his pic and interests, see pOaW on here.

I am submissive. I am not a switch. I am not a slave. My desire is to provide pleasure to and take care of, and relinquish control to, others. I do not want to be *air quotes* a slave, because most people aren't ready for the responsibility that requires on their part, to be wholly accountable for someone's physical and mental well-being. In my opinion, it's essentially the BDSM version of marriage- for most completely unnecessary, for many completely inadvisable. On the other hand, I feel secure and comfortable when someone else takes over responsibility for my body.

If I don't talk to you (and vice versa) I won't be adding you as a friend. No offense, but this isn't high school. If it's completely obvious that you're a wanker or haven't actually read my profile, I won't be answering your messages.

Please be respectful of me as a person, a girl, a sub, and a slut.

To sum up, why am I here? Let's face it, the listings on Craigslist don't really cut it for us folks.

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2/7/2009 3:04:32 AM

I have the TV on in the background and therefore hear most commercials like I'm overhearing a conversation at the next table in a restaurant.

Imagine how my ears perked up when I heard a commercial for a new medication called "Aciphex".

Say it 3 times fast and you'll get it, I promise.


1/15/2009 3:56:40 AM
It isn't poly if everyone isn't aware.

I think we all know what that's called.

11/26/2008 4:59:39 PM
"Doctor, it hurts when I do this."

"Well then, stop doing that."

I think I can't do anything anymore.

11/22/2008 7:22:30 PM

Planning on going to the Lair tonight. It's going to be weird.


11/21/2008 12:38:48 AM
I don't know what to say here anymore.

10/28/2008 11:54:02 PM
Can I put "people without journal entries or forum posts" under hard limits?

10/15/2008 2:54:03 PM
I don't really understand the people that put in their profiles something to the effect of "no rude people who just delete emails instead of answering". If they deleted your email without answering, I don't really think it's *your* choice to make whether *they* are up to standards.

Sour fuckin' grapes.

9/25/2008 3:53:44 PM
DominANT. DominANT. Repeat after me, dominANT.

9/23/2008 9:15:04 AM
3 drinks + 1 Joan Jett song = karaoke awesomeness

9/19/2008 11:11:38 PM
Car's back, yay! *Now* it's a project though.

9/16/2008 12:42:14 PM
He can't put fixing her issues on me, when apparently I'm not even getting the truth about what those issues are.

9/12/2008 12:15:36 PM
Why are there so many people who only use this to bitch about other people's "rudeness" and lack of what they consider to be required etiquette? It's a numbers game on the internet, folks. Get over it.

9/5/2008 6:58:54 PM
Car accidents suck. Even more so when they're *not* your fault.

9/4/2008 3:13:23 AM
Part of why I've gotten so riled up the last couple of days is that *nearly all* of the feedback I've gotten from anyone else about our situation is that I should run...fast...and far. And I don't want to do that, so I've been in a stubborn, fight-for-it mindset. Jade actually said to me that I seemed really happy when she saw us together, and that was the first time I felt like anyone even halfway got where I'm coming from. Not that I'm running around telling everyone everything, but I don't hide anything about this from people.

It's hard, though, to feel attacked from almost all sides, and then go to the person you thought you were fighting for, and get slammed with what comes off as another "You're DOING it wrong!". My knee-jerk reaction to that is, you should feel pretty fuckin' special I'm doing it at all. I still need to hear a "good girl" once in a while. It starts to feel like  a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't situation, and it just makes me want to push against everything and everyone.

I realize now that everyone is fighting their gut reactions, though, and that the difference can only be in how I act on those feelings.

8/26/2008 7:01:55 PM
So in other words, you two are having a great time doing all the stuff you were supposed to do with me. That's fantastic, thanks for keeping me updated.

8/9/2008 12:29:49 AM
My po' widdle ears *hurt*.

8/6/2008 4:18:31 PM
You don't have to sell her to me at this point; you have to sell *me* to me.

8/6/2008 10:41:27 AM
I don't want to be the type that says "What's wrong with me is that YOU don't know what's wrong with me."; but how else do you tell somebody that?

8/6/2008 8:28:56 AM
"I guess it just comes down to me getting over insecurity about my value in the relationship." "Well, I don't know how to reinforce that." Try not being obsessed with her. Try not having everything be about her and her comfort level. Tell me you knew you could count on me and that's why you took me for granted. Try reassuring me that I *can* do things right and better sometimes. Try not making me listen to just how perfect you feel like she is for you. I get it. She's here, so it's pretty obvious. It's not so obvious that you appreciate *me* and the fact that I love you and have never refused you anything. Have a reaction when I tell you I'm trying and I try to explain my difficulties.

8/2/2008 5:11:01 PM
Well, the shower was making me feel a lot better, until I started to notice just how banged up I look.

8/2/2008 5:37:40 AM
I don't want to have to go in this morning. I mean really don't want to. Way beyond just lazy, idonwannagetouttabed, it's inconvenient, i have other things to do. I don't want to have to go in and keep a straight face and pretend everything's peachy and I'm happy just to be alive and I'm happy to be there because they're keeping me that way. When people ask you, "Hey, how are you doing?", it's generally accepted that that's just a greeting, to be responded to with "Good, and you?" I'm just tired of that. I want to respond, "Fucked up, so fuck off." But it's not like I'm going to go into what's really going on, because that's not really appropriate professionally. The fact is, I have to come in and be trapped here for four hours three times a week, and if I go totally batshit, it's gonna be pretty fuckin' uncomfortable, and I can't just decide to let everyone think what they will and not come back. Boundaries. Boundaries. Fucking boundaries.

7/31/2008 2:22:50 PM
"there is not any replacement of 200#s of heat, muscle and emotion"   <sigh> Yeah.

7/31/2008 3:52:04 AM
Dammit. I am going to be up all night. Plus I've got fucking Master of Puppets stuck in my head...

7/31/2008 2:47:24 AM
...can't sleep. Don't really want to sleep. It's all there is left to do by myself right now, though. I want to be held, held down, held onto, but I just feel held back, held at arm's length. I'm trying, I really am, because it's hard to decide to gamble your spot in purgatory when all you see are little veiled windows into heaven and hell. I'm not even sure which is which anymore.

7/25/2008 2:13:35 AM
I'm a little nervous, honestly. But I know it'll be okay. It may even kick ass.

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BlackElviraDomme
 
 Age: 48
 Columbus, Georgia