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| hi there.
in the spirit of full disclosure, i like to start with the things people are likeliest to judge me or avoid me for, so they don't risk wasting their or my time:
i'm a single mother of one - soon to be 2. due 3/31/2015. i love being pregnant, and playing is even more exciting for me while pregnant. i am undeniably a gravidophiliac, though for me the attraction is comprehensive rather than simply sexual: i love feeling new life blossom inside of me, love feeling and seeing my body change, and love raising children. though the latter has been the most fulfilling and wondrous experience of my life, i admit to feeling pretty downtrodden that my pregnancy is almost over... again. i hope to have this experience again, someday, ideally with a co-parent or romantic partner.
i don't, strictly speaking, need either sex or kink to have a fulfilling, loving, committed* (committed =/= monogamous) relationship with anyone. my interpretation of what constitutes intimacy and shared experience is very broad. that said, my sexuality and my kink are both important to me. inability or lack of desire to provide those things will not deter me from a relationship, so long as i am given the freedom to explore those needs elsewhere.
i'm an independent escort. it's part of who i am, and i am not ashamed. my family and friends accept me for who i am, and i expect nothing less. please don't contact me via this site about my services; that's not why i am here. my clients are wonderful people and i'm quite happy with them. if you're a client and you've found me, hi! :-) feel free to interact with me here, feel free to ask questions, but please do me a favor and be discreet. i'm not interested in 'crossing the streams' of my kink and my companionship, as it were.
furthermore, my clients are remarkable people - we care about each other, and have fulfilling relationships bolstered by mutual respect. if i won't consider a prospective client, who would reward me handsomely for my time and attention, based on an introductory message that is crass or disrespectful, why would i respond to a message with such overtones on here? if we have shared fetishes, that's great, and depending on which ones, that could be very promising - but i want to be engaged as a human being with a personality first, not a list of fetishes or a potential warm pocket for you to masturbate into. if i don't know you - then no, i certainly don't want to have sex with you; no, i don't want to be bred by you; and no, i don't want to share my breastmilk with you. unless you are writing me in response to a specific post in a group i've made about a type of kinky play that i am actively seeking in a controlled environment, i will likely ignore solicitations.
(long exhale) well, i suppose that's that. moving on, albeit as succinctly as possible...
in a perfect world, someday i will meet a kinky geeky creature and gravidophiliac with a penchant for ANRs, who wants to raise children with me. while it is what i long for, i am trying not to go out of my way to seek out relationships focused primarily on those goals, as i find that it's often a pathway to frustration, sadness, and the pervasive fear that it may well be impossible. what i want, for the time being, is to have fun - to make meaningful connections to others, give, receive, and share love, laughter, pain, pleasure (in all its forms), and joy. again, in a perfect world, what i long for would spring organically from a connection such as this.
i'm a third generation weirdo; anarchist; aspiring permaculturist; intactivist (intact genitals are a human right), and peaceful parent. socially awkward, brazen in some ways yet shy in others, and profoundly introverted - i have no problem spending the majority of my time alone. know my own value, but struggle with self-love. love long discussions that challenge both participants and force us to think. full of unpopular opinions, but focused on balance.
'nilla favorites:
cooking delicious food, especially for others - food is love!
creek-stompin' and swimmin' holes, all summer long
thrifting and consignment shopping
sunny summer days
mutual aid
endorphins, norepinephrine, dopamine, serotonin - some of nature's greatest gifts
cuddling, long squeezy hugs, gentle touch, massage
animals! i see the adorbs in almost all critters
kids. i love that children are not constrained by social mores. they are so accepting. they are often almost surprised when you treat them like actual people (which is sad), and they appreciate being engaged on a basic human level, with respect, care, and interest. i babysit for friends for fun.
music - marchfourth marching band (for whom i tirelessly proselytize) and mclusky being my most darling of darlings
comics - chew, sandman, transmetropolitan, the invisibles, saga, anything by ed brubaker and sean phillips
fiction - robert heinlein, neil gaiman, tom robbins, jonathan carroll
non-fiction - anything on sexual selection, sustainable agriculture, or peaceful parenting; mark derr; mary roach
not-so-nilla favorites (other than the aforementioned gravidophilia and ANR, the latter of which i am only interested in sharing with partners):
suspension
impact (mostly thuddy, but i occasionally enjoy forcing myself to endure stingy)
blood play (mostly topping, only with scalpels thus far)
ageplay (both as a mommy and as a little, though i have only done this with partners so far)
objectification and humiliation (at the moment, only with those with whom i have some sort of close relationship; because of the nature of my work and a history of abuse, these two can be a sore spot with casual play partners)
...but while i consider myself to be rather responsive, none of these make me scream, cry, and hurl insults at my top (not to be a brat - i just plain lose control of what comes out of my mouth) so much as rough body play. claws, teeth, fists, open hands, boots, hair pulling, choking, pinning, being thrown around like a ragdoll, etc.
not-so-nilla curiosities i want to explore:
moar topping. thus far, i have only topped in public once, and only with blood play. even in private, my topping has been limited - both in frequency and in expression; rough body play and blood play are the only types of topping i've explored. i'd love to delve into impact, some even rougher body play, CBT, maybe someday bondage if i ever stop being so intimidated by all it seems there is to learn. this is something i've been too shy to pursue with much vigor, thus far.
torture bondage
shame. i want to be forced to do things i don't want to do in places where it feels embarrassing to do these things. i want to feel my cheeks flush with it.
bladder control (embarrassed to even admit that)
pet play (as the caregiver rather than the pet)
ugh, i really wanted to avoid writing a novel, here, but it looks like i'm too late. if you find me interesting and you have something to say (ideally longer than two sentences), please write to me.
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