Collarspace.com

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acbeach

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Friends:
vaguycville

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I'm willing to chat with people who understand that this is a relationship and a D/s one at that. It is not game night at the OK Corral. With no disrespect intended, i find it hard to communicate with anyone younger than 58 nor older than 70.

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8/30/2016 3:03:19 PM
Honesty is telling the truth and sharing all the information, not just what you think will get you what you want. If you claim a submissive or slave and make her yours, she will hate you when she finds the truth. And she will find out. The effort you put in to training her she put in to learning is for naught when you withhold relevant information..

11/17/2012 10:35:30 AM

A bit of sadness comes when communication ends. Online communication becomes surprisingly more difficult when real time has interfered. I think we hear differently, because we have heard in real time, so simple conversation becomes fraught with the echoes of reality.

 

So real time becomes the goal. After that, the phone must take the place of fingers, to hear the intonation, the ache and the yearning.

 

I wish that service were as simple as I once thought it was. But no, while not rocket science, it is more difficult to keep the flame going in the wind.

In English, I miss the one who owned me, I need to learn to trust again.


12/23/2010 8:40:13 PM

Another year has nearly come to an end, and, as yet, the rules and questions of the old year linger.

Allow me a bit of nostalgia for losing my image of myself as an astute and alert person. Somehow an owner slipped into my life without me seeing him, and the next thing I knew, I was on my knees.

I mourn my lost ability to say "No," while I celebrate my found ability to trust.

I am nostalgic for friends departed by circumstances beyond my control -- I know, funny for a submissive to say, but I am not a doormat to cede control easily. Yet I am optimistic that he has found the happiness he sought.

Every so often I am amused by someone who presumes to tell me he is a master, yet loses control when I question his background in mastery.

I am blessed by good friends who have entered my life this year. An ability to laugh and to learn is nothing to sneeze at, even with a cold.


2/27/2010 5:44:50 PM
What makes ownership so imperative? I cannot decide whether it's better to be owned and coddled (or is it cuddled) or retain my identity until I find the one to whom I must kneel.

12/31/2009 6:25:16 AM
A new year, a new sense of self. I have learned to kneel, but not to beg, to take what is offered as well as to give all, to remain silent when asked and to worship when asked to pray.
As 2010 winds its way into existence it is nice to have goals. I will walk or bike every day; i will try at least one new recipe a month; i will not judge quickly.
I will become a student as well as a teacher and i will develop the courage to tell the local that while we are good for each other, we are also bad. As long as we are together, neither one of us really looks for the one. Familiarity breeds friendship but not ownership.


6/13/2009 7:33:19 PM
It's always a surprise to turn around and find myself in a place I never thought I would be. I used to pride myself on my sense of self-- a quick wit and self assurance.
Now, the only thing I am assured of is the need to kneel before Him, to feel his hands in my hair, his fingers twisting a nipple (or two).
To live to serve Him is to truly live. He has unselfishly brought me to my knees, the highest point of existence, and for that I am truly grateful.
One of the good things about being unowned is that I can make a decision based on what is best for me. At the request of a Dominant... who I once called my Lord, I let my hair grow and grow and grow -- 10 year's worth. It took just an hour to have it chopped off.
I think I lost five pounds and 10 years.
The tears that fell as the locks hit the ground were not for the hair, but rather for Sir Guy. In a way, cutting my hair cut him out of my life as well.
Somewhere in the hidden recesses there was a vain hope that He would come back, or, at the very least, call.
For one who promised he was going nowhere, that he would be here, I find it most disconcerting that he vanished one day. It was gone. So, it only took me a year to nail that coffin closed.

6/7/2009 12:22:02 AM
Some thing I wish I didn't know:
Someone wrote me that he gets off on my profile picture sometimes.
(I'm glad I'm able to be of service.)


 


4/25/2009 5:48:33 PM
What a surprise. I wandered into my bulk mail this evening and found dozens of messages that collarme evidently decided I didn't want to read.
I can be rude, and have been, but I would at least like the choice.
Seriously, If you sent me a message and I did not respond, it may be because I never got it.
I have tried to make amends, but, alas, I am sure someone got left out.

4/1/2009 8:11:27 PM
Lots of changes in store, and, like many things in life, they are not coming easily.
The question is whether to settle or to go for the brass ring, even if the ring is invisible. In other words, is it best to stay with a Dominant knowing that one is simply his closet slut, good enough to beat or feck but not good enough to take in public, or to wait for the one true match.
Distance and time are the great equalizers and yet, there is much to be said for proximity and the knowledge that she makes one content if not happy.
For the first time, i told one no and it scared me. There is still the chance that he will leave, but if he's not the right one, why should he stay?
Ah well, perhaps when things in life get organized, i will find the answer.

3/5/2009 4:31:37 PM
It's March, the lion part, which is far superior to the lamb part, which this year comes in early April. Sorry, I couldn't resist reference. Anyway, another try at erotica follows.
She knew his touch. Never gentle, always on edge. He had a way of making her ache for him, yearn to put herself in service to him, aching for the service, resenting the need.
He was not handsome in the conventional sense, more in the way he carried himself. He did not have to tell her how to behave, what to do. It came from a need inside her. Once she was on her knees, she was his toy, his plaything.
He reached for her favorite flogger, a dark-blue braided toy with more than 20 points, each held in place by a small bead.
  The marks from the strikes were badges of pride. Her skin was his to mark, her inner being His to control.
Sorry, I guess I'm not really in the mood. Some days writing comes easier.


Som

2/21/2009 10:34:53 PM
Ah yes, it's February, past when one's ass turns to red. So, why is it that those who say they like to exercise control have to say it? I would think that if one truly were in control, it would be obvious. Obviously, i am missing something here.
OK; let's try a little erotica.
He walked in as if he owned the place, his stride purposeful and direct. Not a word was spoken. She was unaware of his presence, busily doing whatever it is she does. And, as she reached into the washer for the clean sheets, she felt a hand in her hair, yanking her back. Before she could say a word, He pulled a ball gag from his pocket, and then she couldn't say anything, only whimper.
She flexed her nails, intending one short show of defiance, but it was not to be. He held her head back and pulled her into the next room, flinging her to her knees. It was where she ached to be, where she had to be.
Yes or no?

12/28/2008 11:53:43 PM
Funny how some of us have come to rely on the Net for our socialization. A new person has joined my munch and refers to H/him and H/her and W/we... you get the picture.
In some ways, the Internet has allowed D/s, BDSM to flourish, in another it may have been its death knell.
What it is that we do, at lest in some superficial sense, has become mainstream. Most novels today include some form of bondage-- maybe a spanking, certainly a small bit of kinky sex. For many, that's all it takes.
But because we are sentient beings, we like to think and feel, and for that, it requires a bigger commitment.
To feel the kneel is a wonderful thing. To turn control to another is far, far better than sliced bread.
Dang, i am a lucky slut.

12/16/2008 9:45:47 PM
I have been remiss, but i shall try to rectify (please don't get excited, those of you with ass fetishes; i did not say rectalfy. But then, it's pun time.
I have to give credit to a very dear, dear Friend, whose overwhelming patience has allowed me to open doors and to feel things that either were buried so deeply I did not know they existed, or that I had turned my back on because of fear.
It is hard to run when one is chained, and it is hard to learn when one's mind is closed. The extra effort taken is always appreciated.
Also appreciated is that I am finally able to breathe. Today is my second day in four months that I really do not have to do anything. I don't have to be somewhere, I don't have to even put on clothes if I don't want to.
And, for the next two months and maybe three, I get to do this twice a week. Let us hear it for vacations.


10/5/2008 6:43:22 AM
This is to the jerks out there: You know who you are. Whatever would make someone with a blank profile think that because he is coming to the state I live in that I would have any interest in getting together?
Where in the lifestyle or life or behavior I am part of does it say that i fall on my knees or even respond to an ass?
Frankly, as one acquaintance so pointedly put it, an offer like that is second only to watching paint dry. And the chances of an offer like that being accepted is second only to the rapture. In other words, slim, none and a long time coming.

10/3/2008 9:27:14 PM
Sometimes Dominants get bent out of shape when they think they are being ignored. But as a slaveheart, i totally believe it is not my place to contact a Dominant. If he wishes to talk, then he should initiate and continue contact.
Now i sound like my mother: Good girls do not call boys. Well, i am neither good nor a girl at this point (unless a Dominant tells me I am -- just kidding), but for a slaveheart to contact a Dominant is the height of rudeness.

9/24/2008 8:05:47 PM
Wow; it's been three months, and a lot can change in that time. For one, a person I was close to online just vanished. No word, no clue, no nothing.
It's not that it was unexpected, and yet it was. We forget that sometimes the online "chats" are more intense than in real time. We don't fart, we pay attention. Maybe the naked emotions are much easier to show because, for the most part, the odds of meeting an online "friend" are slim.
The saddest part for me, is that I did not get a chance to say goodbye. I would not have ranted or raged, but I am sad.

6/12/2008 7:32:45 PM
It is almost July, and i am constantly amazed at the lack of discrimination i find in dealing with so-called Dominants.
When One asks about previous encounters, please do not expect an answer from me. i can tell my side of things, but since Another was involved, it is not my place to share.
I am not interested in being a slut online, even as a preliminary to a real-time enounter, so i am perplexed when people get angry about that limit.
As for reality, there is nothing better

3/23/2008 9:29:26 PM
It has more than two months since i've put fingers to keyboard to update this. Yes, i am a slackard.
Somehow real life keeps interferring with what i deem important -- lust, fun, sharing and caring.
i'm pretty geeked that a group of people in my town are putting together a dungeon that has great potential, not to mention an actual dressing room. Who would have thought it? It seems such a little thing, but, in fact, it is a big one. To be able to wear street clothes and then change is something devoutly to be wished.
In other news, i would like to thank my listholder for putting together (or at least encouraging others to put together) some of the hottest munches going.
i have found that in this effort, a democracy does not work. It really does take a dictatorship. Without a steady hand, there would be no suspension demos, no cupping demos, no.. place to watch em.

1/5/2008 9:27:16 PM
i am very bad (well, in that way, too) about keeping up with my writing. Perhaps it is because One caught my interest, only to lose it again because of my inability to commit to Him. Somehow, i think that commitment must be, as in most relationships, a two-way street. It does not do to be one-sided or to just play.
There has to be a need as well as a desire.
I was browsing some profiles and was shocked that many do not take no for an answer. They simply change names and come back for more abuse. Somehow that's backward.
Ok, let's stop whining and get to it. Why is it that some insist on kink first and getting to know others second? Shouldn't it be the other way around?
There is a strong need to be who i am, to show who i am, but i do not do it to everyone or to any tomcat, or dick, hairy or otherwise.
Ah, yes, a pun is always in style.

11/25/2007 9:39:56 PM
chuckles; i see that much sadness has been misconstrued. i guess one must be careful with the written word, for often it cuts as much as a knife, or lets one soar with eagles.
i have been fortunate in finding here some People who share a sense of joie de vie and that makes me smile.
Ah well, it's back to work after two half days and one glorious i had a full day to myself event.
this two jobs and 7 days a week are making me crazy. Wait, i already am.


11/17/2007 9:34:39 PM
Much sadness in my life for a moment or two. i could not go to my munch and i miss my friends.
i need some guidance, and yet, the Ones who guide seem to be too interested in their cocks.
Is it too much to ask that One think (and act) first with his top head? That is why it is on top.
Ok, so maybe that is a bit bratty. But it is long enough without kneeling.

11/11/2007 11:21:20 AM
Another week and then some. I don't know how many more days of working all 7 in a week I can take.
It is not like i am serving, that is not work, but rather a pleasure.
For the right One.. there are endless possibilities, which return to me in spades.

11/1/2007 7:59:04 PM
wow, it has been nearly a week since i stopped in here, and this week has taught me much.
First, let me say i pity the children of today; i had only one child stop by last night for Halloween, one of my favorite holidays. i dressed as a campaign sign, but somehow i wanted to be a slut for One. Oh well, perhaps another night.
Seriously, it seems we, as a culture, have lost so much in the past seven years. We look over our shoulder, lest we are being investigated. We do not trust. And without trust we are less as a culture, as a society.
This life teaches, perhaps even demands, trust, yet now.. i don't know. i can only hope we come to our senses before it's too late.

10/22/2007 10:18:18 PM
Don't have much time tonight, but i wanted to comment about being kind. It takes all sorts of control sometimes to exert kindness, but it pays off in the end.
A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, I had two college roommates. One was blonde and bubbly and glowing, the other dark and shy. I picked the glowy blonde to ally with. Last weekend, I met the other one for the first time in 35 years. What an incredible person she is. The blonde? Well, who knows?
I think being kind in this life is important as well. It is easy to blow off (notice i added the off) someone who might be shy or reticent to initiate contact. And that might cost a friendship at the least.
So, it's best not to make snap judgments, but rather to examine all facets.
On the other hand, every once in a while it's a sure thing that some things will not work out. So be polite when saying goodbye.

10/12/2007 10:41:02 PM
Why is it, when it is plain from a profile, that one is looking locallly, there are those who feel it is ok to intrude, even when they are thousands of miles away? I tend to think that's rude.
If I were in a position to travel or to seek universally, I would say so. Perhaps reading is a dying or dead art.

10/10/2007 10:01:07 PM
sometimes i find it difficult to say what i want. This is a trait among some submissives i know; the inability to say no; the unwillingness to use the safe word.
Perhaps it's because i truly believe if i am with One.. i have given my bond (among other things) and He should instinctively know what i am thinking.
It's unfair, i know. It's also asking a lot from one who may not be willing or able to give that much.
Maybe that is one of the reasons i am hesitant to get involved.

10/4/2007 7:03:59 PM
Oh gawd, someone has subscribed to my journal. With all due respect --that's my favorite phrase, by the way -- it changes the journal from a bit of writing for me, into more of a sharing for others, which is never my intent.
Being part of this life opens doors inside me that i did not know were closed; opens my eyes to tolerance for those just making their way here and a sense of belonging.
I realize there are as many facets of D/s or BDSM as there are practicioners of the lifestyle.
My own bent, if you will, is service; yet within that, i know i am a bit (well, maybe more than a bit) of a prude.
Do i want a Dominant to help me over that hump? There's my personal rub. Can i trust one to do that?

10/1/2007 5:20:14 AM
This is a note to those who read what i write and then ignore it. I am a professional woman who needs to kneel, who wants to kneel. But, i also know the height from which i bend my knee.
This is not a challenge, but a simple statement of fact.
There, now you've had my lawyer lesson.

9/20/2007 11:10:38 PM

I guess the thing that has always alarmed me is the number of people who think that the lifestyle is all about sex. It's not. Don't get me wrong, I like sex as much (or as little) as the next person, but it's not why I registered with this site.

I desire the control, the meeting of the minds, the power sharing, where the whole is so much greater than the sum of the parts.

A Dominant and His submissive are are two-piece jigsaw puzzle; either the fit is there or it is not.


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pureblonde
 
 Age: 30
 Worcester, Massachusetts