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TursiopsNJ

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Unless you enjoy being placed over a dominant male's lap to be spanked when needed I suggest you stop reading the rest of my profile.? If you are just an online player, please pass me bye since I expect to meet in real life in a reasonable amount of time.

So a little bit about me:

Single, mature, dominant Spanko-Daddy with the strong ability to be your quintessential protector, confidant and corrupter is searching for his life mate in a monogamous relationship with a cerebral lady that needs to be taken in hand.

Educated/creative, professional, 6'0" ~185# fit, attractive and experienced?is seeking a mature, brilliant, active, attractive?'lady who is?seeking a 'gentleman' for dating, friendship, adventure! I know the difference between dominant and domineering, domestic discipline and abuse,possesive not jealous;? I also know when to put my foot down and place you over my lap for a no-nonsense spanking when you have gone too far and know how to hold you in my arms at night to keep you safe.

Kink-wise, my primary is a strong predeliction to?engage in impact/sensation play aka spanking spanking spanking, other interests include,?bondage, med fetish & sensory deprivation..et al. Yes I do have a strong loving, nurturing sadistic side but always RACK and SSC.? Within the home I look for harmony with a flair for HOH & DD when necessary. I am strictly a Top and don't switch.? My favorite implements are palm, flogger, tawse, paddle & cane.... and no.. that's not the name of a new law firm ;) My life mate kink wise is one who would coin herself more as a 'bottom spankee' who has a bit of a cerebral masochistic brat about her, an understanding of her need to be masochistic and has an affinity for giving over control to someone she trusts. ?If you have had the opportunity to watch the movie "The Secretary" it will give you the idea what dynamics I am seeking in a union. But, I am not a struggling inexperienced sadist and I doubt you will be an insecure budding submissive/masochist who are trying to find themselves.? The words I desire to hear from your lips are: "Spank me Sir, I really need it". I know there is a sane lady out there that wants her heart owned with integrity by a dominant gentleman, and if she allows me to own/possess that heart, the rest will follow in a natural progression. I seek that which truly can not be given, but that which, in time, is earned, a place to live on in ones heart even after we have long parted company physically.

Submission to me has absolutely nothing to do with weakness. To me,?one's submission is one of the biggest acts of strength, courage, and love that I can think of. Love nor submission is not for the weak whether you are a Dominant Alpha or a submissive soul.

Being local in distance is very important.? I reside in the 08520 Zip Code in Central NJ for a better reference to being local.? Age preference +/- 15 years so we do have good commonalitities.

Some?vanilla interests?include, dancing, concerts, beach combing, walks/picnics on the beach, kayaking, movies(especially B&W classics), reading (Steve Barry,Dan Brown fan),museums, travel locally or out of the country, musical theater, fine dining,bridge, billiards, DIYs.

If this intrigues you, write me and let's discuss our common interests and desires.? A few emails at first then progress to phone conversations so we can quickly set up a safe place to meet and see if there is a true attraction and then set up a 'date' that would be fun and exciting and see what happens from here.??
Please include what township or county you reside in, and a photo if not included in your profile. To reiterate, I am divorced for many years, unencumbered (no human pets, no children, no plants except the summer veggies)!

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12/29/2016 11:50:55 PM
Clink... the sound of the belt clasp resonates in your ears ... the adrenal rush.. the endorphins ... the butterflies in your tummy... the tiny hairs stand up on your arms... the electric sparks run down to your flanks like you are going to be in a head on auto crash.. the camera goes to slow motion.. you watch as the wide shiney leather belt slowly slides through the loops in his pants... "Come here young lady.. it is time!" You slowly walk to him... eyes like radar locked onto his... your eyes are lowered to the belt that dangles from his hand... a deep sigh... "yes Sir... it is time" ♥☆♥?.??.?♥☆♥?.??.?♥

7/14/2014 12:46:32 PM
A wedding ring is very significant but having her wear a collar stating "owned" is so much more significant

4/6/2014 11:19:49 PM
I found it amusing a woman said she met me in NYC a few years ago, It never happened. Drama is not needed in my life unless we are going to the theater to see a great/play.

2/15/2012 11:33:42 PM
What we do is sexual, that is why we aren't on Eharmony or Christian Mingle and why we are on Collar Me. We want to match our kinks before our vanilla proclivities. If you don't understand that then you should have second thoughts about being on this site.

Don't you just ?love sockpuppets, the ones behind the keyboard and monitor and never come out... the ones that have been hurt so badly?and ask for so much and then refuse to even engage on their own turf.?? They must not be looking for balance?or even friendship..... just cogs in the wheel of life with no purpose.... poor? souls!!!


11/24/2009 11:49:38 AM

The event iN AC was awesome.? 200+ like minded kinksters togther for fun and frolic was fabulous and still going through some Top drop.

Clink...

the sound of the belt clasp resonates in your ears ...

the adrenal rush..

the endorphins ...

the butterflies in your tummy...

the tiny hairs stand up on your arms...

the electric?sparks run down to your flanks like you are going to be in a head on auto crash..

the camera goes to slow motion.. you watch as the wide shiney leather belt slides from?his pants...?

"Come here young lady.. it is time!"

You slowly walk to him...

eyes like radar locked onto his...

your eyes are lowered to the?belt that dangles from his hand...

a deep sigh...

"yes Sir... it is time"


I remember when I owned everything:
The Sun and the Moon and the rain
My domain
Stretched and yawned along the astral plane

The universe is a toy in the mind of a boy
And life is movie, too
Starring you
Your whole family's the cast and crew
That's a little secret between God and you

But ain't it strange how it all makes perfect sense?
Once your life becomes evidence
The need to feel...
Love is more than Real

Because your mother's love might seem insane
It's 'cause she really knows everything
Too bad it takes so long to see what you've been missing...

(Love like that can't be measured anyway)
Too bad it takes so long to see what you've been missing
(Love like that can't be measured anyway)
Too bad it takes so long to see what you've been missing
Too bad it takes so long...

'Cause the Real is a construct is a construct
It's the raw nerve's private zone
It's a personal sunset,
You drive off into Alone.



Life Law #1: You either get it or you don't. Strategy: Become one of those who gets it.

It's easy to tell these people apart. Those who "get it" understand how things work and have a strategy to create the results they want. Those who don't are stumbling along looking puzzled, and can be found complaining that they never seem to get a break.


You must do what it takes to accumulate enough knowledge to "get it." You need to operate with the information and skills that are necessary to win. Be prepared, tune in, find out how the game is played and play by the rules.

In designing a strategy and getting the information you need ? about yourself, people you encounter, or situations ? be careful from whom you accept input. Wrong thinking and misinformation can seal your fate before you even begin.

Life Law #2: You create your own experience. Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability for your life. Understand your role in creating results.

You cannot dodge responsibility for how and why your life is the way it is. If you don't like your job, you are accountable. If you are overweight, you are accountable. If you are not happy, you are accountable. You are creating the situations you are in and the emotions that flow from those situations.

Don't play the role of victim, or use past events to build excuses. It guarantees you no progress, no healing, and no victory. You will never fix a problem by blaming someone else. Whether the cards you've been dealt are good or bad, you're in charge of yourself now.

Every choice you make ? including the thoughts you think ? has consequences. When you choose the behavior or thought, you choose the consequences. If you choose to stay with a destructive partner, then you choose the consequences of pain and suffering. If you choose thoughts contaminated with anger and bitterness, then you will create an experience of alienation and hostility. When you start choosing the right behavior and thoughts ? which will take a lot of discipline ? you'll get the right consequences.

Life Law #3: People do what works. Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

Even the most destructive behaviors have a payoff. If you did not perceive the behavior in question to generate some value to you, you would not do it. If you want to stop behaving in a certain way, you've got to stop "paying yourself off" for doing it.

Find and control the payoffs, because you can't stop a behavior until you recognize what you are gaining from it. Payoffs can be as simple as money gained by going to work to psychological payoffs of acceptance, approval, praise, love or companionship. It is possible that you are feeding off unhealthy, addictive and imprisoning payoffs, such as self-punishment or distorted self-importance.

Be alert to the possibility that your behavior is controlled by fear of rejection. It's easier not to change. Try something new or put yourself on the line. Also consider if your need for immediate gratification creates an appetite for a small payoff now rather than a large payoff later.

Life Law #4: You cannot change what you do not acknowledge. Strategy: Get real with yourself about life and everybody in it. Be truthful about what isn't working in your life. Stop making excuses and start making results.

If you're unwilling or unable to identify and consciously acknowledge your negative behaviors, characteristics or life patterns, then you will not change them. (In fact, they will only grow worse and become more entrenched in your life.) You've got to face it to replace it.

Acknowledgment means slapping yourself in the face with the brutal reality, admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you are doing, and giving yourself a no-kidding, bottom-line truthful confrontation. You cannot afford the luxury of lies, denial or defensiveness.

Where are you now? If you hope to have a winning life strategy, you have to be honest about where your life is right now. Your life is not too bad to fix and it's not too late to fix it. But be honest about what needs fixing. If you lie to yourself about any dimension of your life, an otherwise sound strategy will be compromised.

Life Law #5: Life rewards action. Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger. Learn that the world couldn't care less about thoughts without actions.

Talk is cheap. It's what you do that determines the script of your life. Translate your insights, understandings and awareness into purposeful, meaningful, constructive actions. They are of no value until then. Measure yourself and others based on results ? not intentions or words.

Use any pain you have to propel you out of the situation you are in and to get you where you want to be. The same pain that burdens you now could be turned to your advantage. It may be the very motivation you need to change your life.

Decide that you are worth the risk of taking action, and that your dreams are not to be sold out. Know that putting yourself at risk may be scary, but it will be worth it. You must leave behind the comfortable and familiar if you are to move onward and upward.

Life Law #6: There is no reality, only perception. Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world. Acknowledge your history without being controlled by it.

You know and experience this world only through the perceptions that you create. You have the ability to choose how you perceive any event in your life, and you exercise this power of choice in every circumstance, every day of your life. No matter what the situation, you choose your reaction, assigning meaning and value to an event.

We all view the world through individual filters, which influence the interpretations we give events, how we respond, and how we are responded to. Be aware of the factors that influence the way you see the world, so you can compensate for them and react against them. If you continue to view the world through a filter created by past events, then you are allowing your past to control and dictate both your present and your future.

Filters are made up of fixed beliefs, negative ideas that have become entrenched in your thinking. They are dangerous because if you treat them as fact, you will not seek, receive or process new information, which undermines your plans for change. If you "shake up" your belief system by challenging these views and testing their validity, the freshness of your perspective can be startling.

Life Law #7: Life is managed; it is not cured. Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life and hold on. This is a long ride, and you are the driver every single day.

You are a life manager, and your objective is to actively manage your life in a way that generates high-quality results. You are your own most important resource for making your life work. Success is a moving target that must be tracked and continually pursued.

E management means you need to require more of yourself in your grooming, self-control, emotional management, interaction with others, work performance, dealing with fear, and in every other category you can think of. You must approach this task with the most intense commitment, direction and urgency you can muster.

The key to managing your life is to have a strategy. If you have a clear-cut plan, and the courage, commitment and energy to execute that strategy, you can flourish. If you don't have a plan, you'll be a stepping stone for those who do. You can also help yourself as a life manager if you manage your expectations. If you don't require much of yourself, your life will be of poor quality. If you have unrealistic standards, then you are adding to your difficulties.

Life Law #8: We teach people how to treat us. Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you. Learn to renegotiate your relationships to have what you want.

You either teach people to treat you with dignity and respect, or you don't. This means you are partly responsible for the mistreatment that you get at the hands of someone else. You shape others' behavior when you teach them what they can get away with and what they cannot.

If the people in your life treat you in an undesirable way, figure out what you are doing to reinforce, elicit or allow that treatment. Identify the payoffs you may be giving someone in response to any negative behavior. For example, when people are aggressive, bossy or controlling ? and then get their way ? you have rewarded them for unacceptable behavior.

Because you are accountable, you can declare the relationship "reopened for negotiation" at any time you choose, and for as long as you choose. Even a pattern of relating that is 30 years old can be redefined. Before you reopen the negotiation, you must commit to do so from a position of strength and power, not fear and self-doubt.

Life Law #9: There is power in forgiveness. Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your power back from those who have hurt you.

Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms, and even heart attacks.

Forgiveness sets you free from the bonds of hatred, anger and resentment. The only way to rise above the negatives of a relationship in which you were hurt is to take the moral high ground, and forgive the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness is not about another person who has transgressed against you; it is about you. Forgiveness is about doing whatever it takes to preserve the power to create your own emotional state. It is a gift to yourself and it frees you. You don't have to have the other person's cooperation, and they do not have to be sorry or admit the error of their ways. Do it for yourself.

Life Law #10: You have to name it before you can claim it. Strategy: Get clear about what you want and take your turn.
Not knowing what you want ? from your major life goals to your day-to-day desires ? is not OK. The most you'll ever get is what you ask for. If you don't even know what it is that you want, then you can't even ask for it. You also won't even know if you get there!

By being specific in defining your goal, the choices you make along the way will be more goal-directed. You will recognize which behaviors and choices support your goals ? and which do not. You will know when you are heading toward your goal, and when you are off track.

Be bold enough to reach for what will truly fill you up, without being unrealistic. Once you have the strength and resolve enough to believe that you deserve what it is that you want, then and only then will you be bold enough to step up and claim it. Remember that if you don't, someone else will.



11/20/2009 4:14:58 PM
One of the biggest enigmas I face is we are suppose to be content and happy with our own inner self before we move on to find another yet how can you be content while such a large void is missing.  I do my best James Dean while pondering that puzzle!

11/17/2009 2:21:57 PM

I find it amusing and somewhat sad that many don't have anything in their profile and still active on the site.  Makes you wonder why they are here... lurking, dreaming, fantasizing, experimenting in cyber what their real aspirations could be.

I often wonder why they just don't say they 'are not looking' or 'reading the forums' as others have politely done.  Just give the bare basics if you are not seeking.  I know they often have to keep their safety and anominity but it seems more like they are just taking up valueable space and other people's time.


Do us all a big favor and just write a few words to tell us why you are on a visit here.. life is counted in minutes so please don't waste our minutes in searching for our true counterpart.

To those that have a well written profile you know what it is all about.. you "get it".. you know how difficult the search can be.  *THANK YOU**THANK YOU**THANK YOU*

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If you have gotten to this point and still interested please do write me and include your location and a photo if possible.  I respond to all good inquiries.


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PrplPassionPixie
 
 Age: 26
 Australia