Slight confession time.

I've never had sex with a woman. I've been in a relationship with a woman, but a man was always there to help me deal with the rather confusing question of sexual intimacy.

Maybe I'm Bi-curious? It seems deeper then that though. I'd like to find a woman I could explore with, without the influence of a man around. I'm not sure how to go about this.

Made a picnic ham for dinner, the results are amazing. Figured I would share my glaze recipe with you all. (for a 6lbs bone in picnic ham)

1/2cup Honey

1/2 cup maple syrup (grade a, it's worth it)

1 TBL spoon curry powder

1/4 c Worcestershire sauce

1/2 TBL spoon minced garlic

Mix all together in a small bowl, using a whisk.  This can also be used to baste the ham during cooking, I poured about 5 TBL spoons of it over the ham while it cooked, ever 20 minutes or so, in the last 30 minutes of cooking, I only used the juices to baste with.

After its cooked, pour the rest of the glaze over the ham and let it sit for about 5 minutes.

I'd also use some of the drippings to make gravy with for mashed potatoes =D

Make your own sweetened condensed milk!

6 cups Whole milk
4 1/2 cup white Sugar
1/2 Vanilla bean (I use 2 teaspoons vanilla extract, when it gets to the "light tan stage, so it does not boil off)

Heat the milk and sugar in a heavy saucepan over medium-low heat with the vanilla bean, which has been split lengthwise, scraped with the back edge of a knife and added to the milk--pod, seeds, and all. When the sugar is dissolved, raise the heat to medium-high and hold between a simmer and a boil, stirring occasionally, for about 1 hour. Be sure the milk doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan. The milk will thicken, turn beige, and darken to light tan. Strain into a bowl and cool. The "condensed" milk will have reduced to 4 1/2 cups. It will keep several weeks, covered, in the refrigerator. from Gooey Desserts by Elaine Corn

Recipe to use your SCM in (Are you a fan of Starbucks ice fraps? This tastes better and it's cheaper!)

• 6-8 cups strong coffee

• 14 oz (1 3/4 c) sweetened condensed milk

Combine brewed coffee and sweetened condensed milk in a large pitcher.

Refrigerate until chilled.

Serve over ice.

TIP- Use leftover coffee to make coffee ice cubes with.Then you have the chill without getting watered down.

I don't want arguments in public if I mess something up. I expect to mess up, I'm not perfect. But it sure isn't the end of the world if I do mess up!

I need someone to remember I'm a girl now and then. Would it hurt you to bring me a flower? Or a candy bar? Just something inexpensive, nothing serious. Maybe bring it to me and make me stop working when you come home, wrap me in your arms and feed it to me. Tell me you love me, and you are proud of me.

I'll be at the door waiting for you when you come home!! Please hug me!! I've waited all day for you, I know your job is hard and tiring. But you are the most exciting part of my day! The man I love is home!!! The man I've done everything for is home! The man I serve and care for and love so much more then anything in life is home!

Please hug me, please give me a kiss. I promise dinner will be made or is almost done cooking. I'll turn off the phone and the computer and everything and just let you de-stress. Please hold me while you do it? Or just pet my hair, or hold my hand, or even just let me lay my head in your lap. It reminds me how much you appreciate me.

Tell me to do something. Does Daddy want a cocktail? Daddy want the paper? Daddy want a foot rub? A blow job? Anything you want! Just tell me please.

I need passion, I need excitement. I'll be anything you need me to be, just please remember you fell in love with ME not whatever fantasy of the perfect sub you have copped up in your head.

I'm a good girl, I crave pleasing someone. I crave the feeling of being prey to someones predator. Take care of me! I will take care of you! My body is your play ground, use it as you will. Just remember its ME your doing these things to.

Be mean, be ruthless while we play. I want it!! Just remember I am the girl you love.

Roles aside, you are my partner and I am yours. Remember that please!

What I want as a submissive woman.

A question in an email I received was this, "What would you do differently now as a submissive, since you have been owned in the past?"

Thought I would expand on the idea.

As for being owned again, well, I would not want it to be a high protocol 24/7/365 thing. I definitely need a day off now and then. People always seem to forget I'm a switch. I do want to be owned by the one I love. But it definitely needs to be a compromised situation. I want the kink, I do however want the ability to say no to something, or just no to something that night. I want the service aspect, and the ritualism. But I do want to act like a normal girl now and then also.

People seem to think that D/s or M/s has to be so SERIOUS all the time. I like to kid, I like to joke. I may even be a little bit of a brat now and then!! But its never meant to be mean or hurtful, or disrespectful. I want to have FUN!

I don't mind working, cooking, cleaning, etc. But some days I want to sit and watch movies all day. It's not often, but sometimes I need that.

I wont neglect my duties though! Just let me relax now and then, lets just lay on the bed and be happy to be loved! Be happy with remembering we are next to each other. WORSHIP the RELATIONSHIP. So many people are sad and lonely and would kill to be in our shoes, can we remember that now and then?

I need the person I'm with, to be able to make the bigger choices for us in life. It's not that I cant, I'm just not good at it. I don't want to be looked at as stupid for that. I don't ever want my opinion to be discounted.

If the house is my domain (being the house keeper and all) I expect to be listened to. Don't throw your socks on the floor, throw them in the hamper. I don't want to control anyone, especially my partner, but I don't expect my partner to be so calloused they just do whatever they want and not take all my hard work in mind. I don't want my life to be made harder because someone feels like being lazy.

I'm not a disrespectful girl. I don't need to be micro managed. I don't need someone with an iron fist constantly hiding behind me waiting for me to screw up. Do you realize how much pressure that is?

"must be perfect, must be perfect, damnit!! I left a pair of socks out! I'm going to get punished for that, damnit! I forgot it I didnt mean to! God he's going to be mad again!"

That's how I feel when someone does that to me.

I don't need to be punished 24/7. I'm a good girl!! I want someone to remember that!!

(see part 2 for more.)

WAS AWESOME!!!!

I got to put a highshine on pair of boots owned by one of the leather Daddies I hold very dear to my heart. Shi is an amazeing person, it almost broke my heart to see hir leave my chair when I was done. I think we were both very proud to see that lovely shine (me? modest? pifft!) on hir jump boots.

I also got to take care of my first pair of Docs, which was fun in and of itself, and the woman wearing the boots, well let just say it was uber sexy seeing her in my chair with that big, sated smile on her face.

There was also a very dear friend of mine who jumped in my chair, it was a lot of fun to black that boy's boots, he had this big old grin on his face, that had me giggleing most of the time.

By the time I was finished, I had been blacking for about 5 hours straight. I was sore and happy and felt vastly accomplished. So after my kit was put away and I had cleaned up a bit, I propped myself on the chair and enjoyed a much needed cold beer and a smoke. A lot of people were leaveing by then, and I was happily watching everyone wind down, when a very pretty lady walked by, patted my leg and told me I looked very sexy in my chair, and hoped to see me blacking again at the bar.

It was an awesome night, we raised a lot of money for OML, and I know I went away with some of the best memories a little bootblack like me could hope to have.

Love in Leather girl M

Sensuality 101

Guess what kids, I'm irritated again.

You know I love the scene or I would not be here. But one thing a lot of people forget around here (in my town specifically) is sensuality. So I'm gonna bitch about it. Sensuality isn't always sex.

[this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQftZDL37hQ) is sensuality,of the sexual varity.

[this](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7exc8b4nzOo)  is fun sensuality.

The common thread running between them? It can be very sexual. It dosent have to be sexual all the time my friends.

[This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuXNxNtcJ-0) can be sensual, but not sexual.

[This](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7FIUjomOL4) is VERY sensual (come on now! I'm a bootblack, you dident expect that?)

Catch my drift?

Again [sensual](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHO5KWIMZUo)

[sexual, infact...just sex](http://www.youporn.com/)

So when will someone remember that sensuality, can also involve pain? dont tell me it cant I *know* it can. Can you not remember that when, you give a soft touch, at the start of things, throught all your pain scenes, randomly...it will higten your experience of pain. when you constantly keep the nervous system jumping, never knowing exactly what to expect? Those seem to be the best scenes. Granted, your just pain, all fun scenes are exactly that FUN. They DONT have to be JUST pain ALL the time.

You really want to shock the fuck out of your submissive? Try giving her a light touch...all the way down her back, with just your finger tips, right after you've layed into her with your meanest flogger or best cane. See what happens.

I know, I know, not all dynamics are like mine, or what I want. Thats fine, but seriously, the shock value itself cracks me up. No you dont have to be like me, or like sensuality like me, but goddamnit dont forget about it.

I cant count the doms I have played with (though some only one scene or so) that goddamned forget what sensuality even looks like, much less how it tastes, or feels. This dosent mean you edge players have to tone anything down, please god dont, i love a good rough body play scene, but catch the look on my face when the sub I'm playing with expects me to just smack the shit out of him or her, and the only thing they get right then is the softest kiss I can muster.

that Ladies and Gents. Is a fuckign sight to behold.

I have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected.


I have the right to trust, providing I have earned it.


I have the right to expect You to believe I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.


I have the right to ask for Your attention, without having to misbehave to get it.


I have the right to expect You to administer Your punishment on me with care and caution.


I have the right to question your motives, should you deny my requests, as long as I do so with the proper respect.


I have the right to speak up if I feel O/our relationship is not giving me what I need.


I have the right to tell You what I need in a respectful manner.


I have the right to expect You to understand my reasons for doing so, and the right to expect You to listen with an open mind and heart.


I have the right to walk away from our relationship if W/we cannot come to a common ground on these issues.


I have the right to expect tenderness, love and understanding after a scene is completed, should it be what I desire.


I have the right to ask You for that tenderness if I've had a bad day or if I just feel the need for closeness, I understand that there will be times when You and I will disagree about this when You will want a scene and I will not.


I have the right to voice my opinion, and expect You to listen and to consider my reasoning's, I expect You to have final word, but I expect You to wholeheartedly consider my feelings, whatever they may happen to be.


I have the right to expect You to understand that deep trust often brings love, and I expect You not to repel me if I tell You that I love you. For my Master I will love You, should O/our relationship move ahead, should O/our trust continue to grow.


I have the right to expect You to tell me, at any point, if You do not feel You can return these feelings, so that I may decide what I want and need, for it is Your pleasure that adds to my own, and makes it real, and mine, that adds to Yours!

The above was shared by Gypsy Master.

The Slaves Prayer....

"But that's silly. If I'm alone in a room and talking about how much a hate Monday's no one will ever know, so it can't affect them." Hmm, that an interesting argument and in reality you're completely right, no one would ever know what you said about Monday. But what about the attitude you've given yourself after focusing on the negative? Will you be more likely to say good things to the people you encounter or bad? You've put yourself into a funk that will, without a doubt, affect the ones around you.

I want to tell you a story that I heard today; A while back there was a little girl who would meet the milkman at the door every day, and every day that milkman said "There ya go, Lil miss America. Have a good day" as he handed her the bottles. At first, she just giggled and smiled but after a while this became a childhood fantasy. She began to pretend that she was little Miss America, and even after the milkman stopped coming the impression of those words in her mind were as fresh as could be. The fantasy became a teenage dream, than it became a goal. In 1980 that little girl, all grown up, stood before the world and was voted Miss America.

Our words hold so much power over not only our own attitudes, but the attitudes of those around us. Personally, I make it a point to say encouraging things to at least two people a day. If you put it into your mind that you won't allow a negative attitude to ruin the day of your friends and family, it makes it hard to keep that negative alive inside you. I want to challenge you to do something today, no…I want to challenge you to do something every day for one week. Smile at three people that you do not know every day. Tell someone they look "beautiful" (Or "handsome", for your guy friends.), the word "Sexy" is overused and meaningless compared to the feeling behind either of those words. That's it. It's that simple. Smile at someone you don't know, tell them to have a great day, open a door for a stranger…It's amazing how this will affect someone's day. Why do these things matter? Why should we use our tongue to uplift people who mean nothing to us? Who cares about them?

Wrong questions to ask, let's turn it around and ask "who cares about you?" Yes, you. The man or woman reading these words right now- Who cares about you? I'm sure at least one person has come to mind, lets analyze this situation really fast; Your (insert loved one's name here) is having a bad day and when you call they are very short with you. This changes your mood completely for the afternoon, you're upset because you feel as if you've been treated badly for no reason. That's going to cause you to have a bad attitude towards another person you come in contact with.  Now, let's say that (insert loved ones name) picks up the phone, say's that they are in a bad mood but that they are very happy to hear your voice. Maybe even put aside their issues long enough to tell you to have a "spectacular day!"…how would you react to such words? Smile, of course! And without even thinking about it, you'll pass that smile on to another. Your words will be kind to whoever you come in contact with.

So, who cares about those people you don't know? Why should you go out of your way in the slightest to say something nice? Well…they care about someone, and that person cares about someone else. You could brighten the day of at least one person and possible even three or four by simple sharing some kind words! Tell the woman looking at clothes in the mall that what she's looking at would look outstanding on her. It take three seconds, you can do it as you pass by. It take nearly no effort outside of deciding that you're going to do it.

Maybe this is silly. Maybe it's entirely too old fashioned for this day and age of anger and selfishness.  You know what? I don't care. I'm going to continue going out of my way for people who don't care about me. I'm going to continue sharing little thoughts like this with you people, hoping that perhaps at least one person will feel the same way and give it a shot. In fact, I'm going to tell myself that this actually makes a difference. Why? Because it makes me happy, it's uplifting and it gives me a positive attitude so that I can continue to share that attitude with all of you. People are not mean spirited by nature, guys. They've been conditioned over years of pain and anger to act the way that we do. Let's start changing things, let's make this world a nicer place for our children to grow up in. A smile for a stranger, kind words for someone who may really need them.

Just try it. One week of forcing yourself to be nice to people that you don't care about so that maybe they will be kind to someone that they do care about, you'll feel like you've done something right. You'll feel like a better person, and that will be reflected in your attitude towards the world. Long winded message, but something I felt needed to be talked about. Now…I want you all to have an absolutely amazing day. Smile. =D