"Let me explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up." - Inigo Montoya

• Male, straight, switch, age 42, located in Knoxville, Tennessee USA. Yes, I am a UT football fan. Yes, I am capable of shutting up about it.
• Interested in female submissives or switches. Mmmmmaybe could work out a dynamic with a dominant, but my guess is that I wouldn't be a good fit for most 100% domme types.
• I'm solidly in the geek demographic. I write computer software for a living, play computer games like Elder Scrolls and Portal, and while I don't want to just totally out myself as an RPG player let's just say I know my way around a twenty sided die.
• I'm married. My wife and I are poly (and she totally knows I'm posting this), but we're not looking for someone as a couple. That is to say we're not looking for a third person in our relationship or some kind of threesome.

Although obviously I'm interested in kink, that's not the only thing that interests me about people. I don't do casual play, and I wouldn't submit (or expect someone else to submit to me) before a lot of "getting to know you" type of activity had gone on. That means I would expect a lot of talking before potentially meeting anyone. And that's not code for "cyber sex", I mean getting to know one another as full people and not just how our kinks might fit together.

I identify myself as a switch because for me the appeal of BDSM is not in a particular role. What attracts me to it is the thrill of power exchange, how one party gets to exert mental and/or physical dominance over the other. I'm comfortable and delighted to be on either side of the kneel. I can be very aggressive and dominant, and there's definitely a sadistic side to my personality. But I likewise get all shivery at being the submissive to another person's desire to be cruel (or just in control).

I'm married, and very much in love with my wife. The way we do poly is that we're each open to having relationships with other people (she currently has one with another man), but we're not interested in creating a poly household of any kind. That doesn't mean we don't consider our other relationships priorities - one of our primary rules is that when we're with someone else, we're with them. We give one another's relationships respect and space. That being said, if you are looking for someone to be yours and yours alone I'm definitely not for you.

As for what I'm looking for in a potential partner, I'd say she would be within about 10 years or so of my age either way (so 32-52, roughly). The things I care most about are a positive outlook on life and a desire to have fun. And I don't mean that in some kind of sexually adventurous sense (I mean isn't anyone responding to personal postings on a bondage site pretty solidly in the "fun girl" camp?) but rather someone with an abundance of joy. I myself am decidedly optimistic. That glass isn't just half full, it's half full of awesome sauce! Obviously it's not a problem for me if you're married or in a relationship, with the caveat that your partner must know that you're with someone else. This is non-negotiable - I'll respect whatever rules you have with regards to your other relationship, but I won't be involved in any kind of cheating.

I don't have a picture posted here, but I'm a realist and understand that physical attraction is part of a relationship. I don't post pictures of myself in public forums, however I'll be happy to share pics privately, and won't get all hurt and offended if you take one look and say "Pass". (Adonis, egomaniac, or just emotionally well balanced? Now where's the fun if I tell you?) Oh, and I also promise that none of the pictures will be of my penis. I know, the surest way to a woman's heart is the unrequested cock shot, but I'm just coy that way.