Finally got some new pics up :)

I've been a bit busy cm, but I'm still here.

LIFE

is fantastic

Off to Parris Island to join the Marine family thanks to My son's perseverance.

Semper Fi!

I have a rather strange attraction to gay men... and bi-sexual men.... and straight men... and men who aren't men anymore....

But my attraction to long hair is perfectly normal *laughs*

Now studying for the Comptia Security exam :)

I've just been informed that when you look up cougar in the dictionary, My picture is there.   ROFL

I have taken the database design certification test and passed.  A short break and then on to the Security certification and more!

So I have come to the conclusion that what I really want is to find someone who will commit to Me without reservation, someone who will grow and change with Me...someone who will put everything into the dynamic so that I can be EVERYTHING of which I am capable.

I want to find someone who will free Me to put everything I want into the dynamic.

I want to fly, I want to hunt, I want to conquer, I want to love, I want the freedom to be Me in a dynamic.

My wolf's crisis was ill timed, although the stress in addition to pre surgical anxiety helped Me drop almost 10 pounds *laughs*.

I hope that this time we can accomplish what is needed, so that the next time he leaves, it will not be because of crisis, but because it is time for him to go and live his life.

So, the brat prince returns...
HIS Kitty he says...

~just wait until he's tied securely....now where did I put that crop?

Well, that's another to cross off the list *laughs*
Can you belive, I have surgery - throat sore from the breathing tube and some guy whines because I won't get on the phone.... My own mother knows better than to call Me today..

I notice that the true colors come out eventually, all I have to do is wait.

So, wolf left tonight.  Much earlier than originally planned.  Of all the things I thought I might have to do this weekend before surgery- saying goodbye to him was not one of them.

But it is done, and he will be missed.  blackwolfswitch...no longer My wolf, but loved all the same. 

And even after the verbal sparring that lead to his early departure, I still wish him enough.

Let the healing begin.

Another chapter of My life closes as My former pet relocates to another state.  Good luck wolf, I wish you the best of everything.

I love the internet sometimes...I get to meet so many people that I may not ever have known. 
Today though... today I hate the internet, the cyber world is a bit of a bore. 
Definitely not cut out for on line anything, I am too enamoured of touch and physical interaction. 

Any of you going to Paddles for DSF's fetish ball on 10/31?

So, am I the only one who loses 30 pounds and leaves the old heavier pictures up? 

*laughs*

September 28.  I'll be taking My certification test finally :)
wish Me luck.

Time to pay the piper again.

This time it is the network certification ... yes folks, for any of you computer junkies, that is the Comptia 2009 network certification .... unfortunately (if one can say that) My company has provided tuition reimbursement on this one, which means I HAVE to pass it first shot...

Yes, you heard Me... the one who has no interest in computer networking has to pass the network certification course.   LOL


I've got 2 weeks to study, see everyone after that!

I find Myself at a crossroads of sorts.  I am beginning to see that what I want is not what will fit in My life at the moment.

Or, perhaps I should state this as: What I want, the WAY I want it, will not fit into My life at the moment.

If I wasn't a full time single parent, things might be different.  OR    If I had a finished basement, things might be different.

I think the single parent thing is self explanatory...not much to be done about that for the next 8-10 years. (and NO, I don't want to be a married parent, LOL)

The basement is another story...

If I could do something with the basement, I could set up an extra living space along with a play space and then I'd have room for the person I need in My life.

So what is stopping Me?
Well, lack of know-how combined with lack of time...throw in extremely limited funds and we come up with: an unfinished basement.

As determined as I am, I find My thoughts are more along the line of the spoiled princess on this one: I WANT IT NOW.   I know, patience is a virtue, and one more month/year/decade won't hurt Me. grumbles

Wishing dj luck with life in general and relationships in particular.  Keep your chin up, you'll find something that fits with your life!

Happy Easter to all

Sick today :(
Tomorrow is a new day. 
One day, I'll have someone to pamper Me when I'm under the weather :)

And so they talk to me of love
Whispers like the soft breeze of a warm spring night
Sunlight streaming through the trees
Illuminating the fairy dust swirling silently through the morning.

And I grow restless

Do not talk to me of love
Do not think to bind me with your words
Talk to me of fire
Talk to me of passion so consuming that chaos is the only result.
Overload my senses
Let me fly.

Happy Birthday to Me on Sunday!
:)

UPDATE: I need to finish My math course by 1/9 so I will not be chatting with anyone.  If you have sent Me an email and I have not responded, do not take it personally.  Write Me again in a week if you are serious.

Happy Holidays!

So… the top of My profile says:

I am really cracking down on the math here, trying to keep up with the emails so people do not feel neglected.
Whatever you do, do NOT ask to talk to Me until this math is done.  I don't even have enough time for My family and the extra requests are doing nothing but adding to the stress.

And some rocket scientist writes Me:

31m mic and cam on yahoo messenger as xxxxxx also. add me if you like. may i speak

Can anyone say… “duh?”

Happy Holidays

I swear I am going to be seeing Project Management test questions in My sleep tonight!    But at least one test will be done and overwith tomorrow... and then it is on to math!

I am just so very alive today. 
And just so very hungry...  and it is a very good thing that I just had surgery and need to go to work tomorrow, or I'd be down right insatiable.   But the flashes...going through My head right now, and none of them are tender..and all of them are rough and hot ... and sometimes, even for Me, it IS about the sex.  Sometimes the best part of life, is living it *grins*

I see you there... viewing My profile... I know you are out there... stop by and say hello.
*smiles*
We have cookies....come to the dark side.

Not Byron...I walk in the night.  Like beauty? All encompassing; Born into this world like anyone else…until the changing.  Experience and life and depth and maturity...like a phoenix I am reborn, the remnants of childhood lay charred at my feet.  I am of darkness and of light.  I am the hot breath in your ear as you lay whimpering.  I am that tugging in the back of your mind, the thought that something is awry.  I am the one following you when the hair on the back of your neck is erect and you see no one behind.  I am the one that slays your dragons and the one that made you cry. The dark place you hide in when the world is overwhelming, the haunting tune you can’t get out of your head, the mist swirling on the water’s surface at dawn.

If you identify as submissive, you may fit... read My descriptions and see if your definition of submissive is My definition of slave... wow, words DO have different meanings to different people.

To anyone with whom I've started a conversation and never finished ... I apologize, my life got a bit busy in the past 6 weeks. 

And my mindset and style has been changing and refining.  I rewrote parts of my profile in the last month to reflect everything that is current in my mind. 

I started my new job a few weeks ago.  It has been taking a lot of my time as I can't flex my hours like I could in my previous position.  It seems to be paying off though, the guy who is training me seems to think I'm learning at an incredible pace.  Unfortunately, the nature of the beast means I'll have LESS time at certain times of the month but I guess I'll learn to live with that.  Throw in the school study on top of the new job and the kids starting school and you can see how my time dwindles.  I am getting into a routine though, so things are coming a bit easier now. 

You know what it is like when things run smoothly?
My pet has been doing his "darnedest" to see that I am happy and he is doing a good job at it too.
Thanks wolf, for all your good work and effort.

I opened my eyes

And he was gone

Not a whisper remained

Visions tickled the center

Of my mind

Memories that did not exist

If you offer me your devotion

I’ll give the very heart

Of who I am

His scent remains with me

The feel of him

Burned into my senses

Memories of promises

Of passion

The blur of twined limbs

If you offer me your mind

I’ll give the very heart

Of who I am

I can still taste him

Musky salt

From sweat and tears

Flowing through my veins

A tiny spark

A marker to remember

You offered all

Of who you are

I call to you now

And claim what is mine

UPDATE:  7/2/08  
Some of you know I've been dealing with tooth issues.  Just a quick update to let you all know I had an emergency extraction today.  I'm a bit sore but should be much better in another day or so.  Lady Jag

Will you raise me up, will you help me down?
Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken town?
Will you make it all a little less cold?

Will you hold me sacred? Will you hold me tight?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and white?
Can you make it all a little less old?

Will you make me some magic, with your own two hands?
Can you build an emerald city with these grains of sand?
Can you give me something I can take home?

Will you cater to every fantasy I got?
Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?
Will you take me places I've never known?

*Meatloaf...anything for love*

If I sang you a ballad of such mystical ideas, would you be enchanted by my voice?  

If I breathe in your life's essence and mingle it with mine, would you shed a tear at our parting?  

If I bind your hands and feet and touched every part of you lightly with my hands and my lips,  would your nerves tingle in anticipation?

If I gave you a chance, would you pass me by in regret or relief?

I need to feel moved.  I want to see the eyes of a slave completely devoted to me... willing to slay dragons or move mountains... willing to spill even a single, precious drop. 
*sighs*

Just want to give a shout out to Patience.  I've been enjoying our chats.  your stories are amazing, keep up the good work.  It is always a pleasure to meet someone that is as dedicated to family and expanding horizons as you are.

Every now and again someone sends me some type of odd random email that says nothing nice.  Then, out of curiosity, I take a gander at their profile to see why they think it is up to them to spread such weirdness.  Without fail, it is some empty profile bitching about tribute Dommes.  Well, I know why only tribute Dommes email them, because one would have to get paid to put up with their bullshit.  ROFL 

To have him in restraints and put my hand up to his… to feel the warmth radiating, to see the blood pulsing in his veins.  I want to take his wrist in my mouth and feel the energy flow… to listen to the soft moans when I put my lips to his.     

I want to graze the hollow of his neck with my tongue and trail my teeth down the length of his body.   I need to bite, to taste, to scratch…to put my hands in his hair and pull.

Hey everyone!  I finally got my first "your a poser, a fake" email !!!! woo hoo!!
Thanks sniffster,  although, you used the wrong word.  It isn't "your" it is "you're" a contraction... for "you are".  The version you utilized is a possessive pronoun.  No need to thank me, I realize that people will never take you seriously if you do not use proper grammar.  Good luck with your search!

She pauses, sniffing the air.  A new scent, not alpha or beta...something more...something, someone who may understand submission at such an interesting level.  Senses on alert, selfish, so very selfish.  No logic, just animal response.  No emotion, just selfish desires and wants and needs.  Can it fit....  She settles in to battle herself... Don't go in the deep end ..  why?  I know how to swim!

You know when you log on to this site, how the first thing you see is a profile of whoever fits what you had in the search field?   
Did you ever log in and see a face that made you twitch in a really good way?.. mmmmmm.. I love that feeling.- thanks for the thrill!

And the cat is going dancing again...Contempt is less than a week away.  So many new thoughts, so many different ideas.  Still I hunt as the hunger builds.
        
Love.      

It is not something beyond me, rather it is something so internal, so much a part of me that I refuse to share it with just anyone.  I do not believe there are very many men out there who would even know what to do with me if I loved them.  What does one do with a fiercely loyal, independent, intelligent alpha female?  Seems they have a hard time believing that my complete adoration doesn't tolerate bullshit.  How is it possible that one could melt so fast and still keep that dangerous fire in her eye?
*sighs*  Fact is, I scare most men to death.

Ain't misbehaving...even with one too many libations.. heh... The bad part is, I could not find my groove..although dancing is one of those things that if done badly can still be fun.  I did have fun, it was nice to hang out with another big cat for a while (couldn't do it every day but here and there is rather fun).  Oh people, riddle me this:  Why would a perfect stranger think that I would meet him at my hotel?  Really, guys, think about it,  If you want random meaningless sex, go hire a prostitute.  DOMME DOES NOT EQUAL SLUT. (I should really put that on a shirt)

I wonder, how many are left?  Are they betas all coming out of the woodwork and out from under their rocks, trying for the alpha role?  Can they somehow sense that I'm looking?  Can they sense the hunger, the wanting.. the need?  Its enough to make me want to nest in the clearing, watching from the shadows. 

It runs, crimson down his arm.

My mind reels.

All logic ceases.

I am left with the hunger.

The wanting.

Reason has left me.

Desire reigns.

Yes wolf, sex kitty is so much more appropriate than sex doll. 

And speaking of sex:  My profile states that I am looking for a service sub.  Why would anybody write me a fantasy about anal sex (or anything else of that nature) and expect me to continue speaking to them?  I don’t want your sexual do-me fantasy list.  I want someone for mental domination that can perform general household duties.  Yes, physical play can be included, but sex is not in the equation now. 

Here is the truth, written on a journal, as permanent as anything else written in a journal by mere mortals:  I already have a sexual playmate.  I do not need another one in my house (or anywhere else).

Restless; I can actually feel a tail twitching.  On the hunt for new experiences, new tales to not tell.  New intensities of recent desires surface more frequently.  It feels like spring madness again; I need a change of pace.  Shiny things, sharp things; let the games begin.

She stretches and goes back to lounging like a big jungle cat, tail moving slowly back and forth.  Her lazy countenance would normally mask the restlessness she is feeling, but this time, the predatory look in her eyes cannot be mistaken.

The hunger, the need, the desire rises.  Frustration at not being able to travel this weekend makes the wanting all the more tangible.  Keeping the hunger from radiating in all directions is an all-consuming task.  She watches the players with great interest to see how this weekend will end.

Thought for the day:

Would someone who is essentially a combination of the characters Jack Sparrow and Hannibal Lecter be enough to make me consider monogamy?  The jury is still out on that one, but it’s a close vote.

And she paces, restless for the hunt.  I'm off to play in the darkness of the city.  wolf, I'm thinking of you.....

She stands in the doorway, surveying the room.  The amount of people wandering around gives her pause and she slides over to an empty chair.  Soon the group leader has everyone sitting and asks if any new people would like to introduce themselves.  She looks around and notices people staring curiously at her.  Slowly she stands up; throws her shoulders back and says: "My name is Mistress Psy and I am polyamorous"

No, this is not a new development, just one that I have been trying (without success) to ignore for years. So, in calling a spade "a spade" I have decided to "fess up" in my profile.

And again and again and again.  Note to self, feed first, scene later.  Do not mix energy with scenes.
Just when I think I know everything about myself, I get to learn something new.  And this is a tribute to the one who helped clear my head (and muddied the waters/blurred the lines at the same time)  just have to say...oooo shiny...and yes, I am very thirsty.

What does love have to do with it?   Fine, I said it, I love you, now will you just shut up about everything else?  Okay, maybe not..  Here goes, I'm waiving the magic wand:
The whole world disappears and there is sunshine in the forest - just you and I - pay no attention to the shadows just outside your vision, the shadows are mine alone to share with others of the dark.  You, on the other hand, belong in this forest of light and I will keep you there, out of my darkness so you don't get confused.  Here, let me weave you a vision to keep you safe - you can have all of me that is light. 
Yes but you want it all don't you, you insist on tasting the darkness that you do not understand.  Leave it be for now, let me play in the dark with my dark ones - you know I've always been with you, across miles and ages, and I always return.  

And over the miles I felt his hurt, his pain made me feel quite protective and feral at the same time.  I wanted to drink the anger. the loss.

I wanted to lick his tears to make the feeling more tangible.

He made me feel oh so vicious, the images that flashed through my mind as he stood there, panting like an animal.  Oh how I could feel the need coursing through him, obliterating the surroundings.  And I wanted to....I needed to.....I.....