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Sojourner
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LittleIrishCutie
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My partner is Sojourner and am not here in search of one to replace him. Though as part of a future polygamous relationship, there is room for more.
Last year we opened a yarn store and that keeps me fairly busy, but lately I've felt restless in my relationship and have come to the conclusion that I long for another relationship. preferably with a female. I welcome friends always and never can have too many..
In every aspect of my life, I've marched to the beat of my own drum. I had aspirations of becoming an archaeologist when I was younger, unfortunately, life happened. However, I still have the history bug and love museums and the history channel. I can switch gears and curl up on the couch with my knitting or I can hit the dance club or the pool hall with equal enthusiasm.
Turning 40 was a reflective time for me. I pondered why relationships didn't work for me the way they did for others. Through thinking, learning and just poking around on the internet I stumbled onto this site and others and I feel that I found the key to part of my core personality. In some ways I've feel that I've finally found my niche but in other ways I still feel that there is so much more to experience and I'm on a continuous path of learning and discovery.
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The Man and I had a talk a bit ago about just what I am. When I first met him I was new to this sight, new to this concept and new to the idea that other people liked to be tied up and beaten and people liked to tie people up and beat them.
I think that we had a few stars in our eyes at first and he thought that I sounded like a slave and I didn't disagree. However, the longer that we've been together the more both of us have grown to understand that just giving me a lable might have been a bit simplistic.
You see, I definately like being on the bottom and I do feel that a man should be the head of the household, or wear the pants in the relationship if you prefer. I never felt that my relationship should be 50/50 and I always wanted to be the Jr Partner. I don't follow blindly and there are way too many times that I contradict him, some of which he changes his mind to agree with me.
I don't mind being owned, but the more time went on, the less I liked being called a slave. And I think I finally realized that slave is a role in my paradigm, that I can't get past the simple fact that I am in this relationship voluntarily and that I really can leave when I want. That he values my thoughts and he will take into consideration my opinion at all times.
So if there was a lable it would be messy. "Bisexual switch with bottom tendancies with men, top tendancies with woman, sexually experimental, polyapathetic with a desire for a 50s styled household"
I don't think that was one of my choices.
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it occurs to me that the individual has been removed from most people's minds on this site. I continue to recieve e-mails addressing mne as "ma'am" and if I am in a mood to point out that they didn't read my profile they deny that claim and then ask me what they should address me as. What ever happened to talking to people, getting to know them on an personal basis and finding out their likes and dislikes (as well as respecting those preferrences)
I don't think that inernet communities help either with all their hoity-toity protocol (s-type must refer to themselves in lowercase etc.) Why am I reminded of the Haynes commercial where all the people are put into a conversion machine so that they all loose their uniqueness and become clones of each other.
I a nutshell for God's sake I am not a character in some wanker work of fiction, neither am I programmed to give coined responses to you tired cliches. |
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I know that it's a nit-picky thing, but I hate to be called ma'am, always have. If you have messaged me and are perplexed as to why I haven't answered you should ask yourself several questions: Did you bother looking at my proile and reading it? Is your e-mail all about fulfilling your whims? Did you say anywhere in your e-mail why you think that you and I should converse (and just because I am female isn't a good enough reason) but most of all, did you call me ma'am? I don't even bother reading an e-mail if you addressed me as such, I find it to indicate that you are so far into fantasy land that I would be nothing but a tool for you to achive your wants. |
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The path of self discovery can usually be wonderful, sometimes though, one can be surprised to find that what was exciting in theory isn't nearly as glamourous in real life. At least all expereinces help define what I really need to be satisfied and what simply won't work no matter how much I'd like it to. |
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my original profile-- saved for prosperity.
Though I am fairly new to the lifestyele officially, I have always gravitated towards assertive men, many who would push the envelope in exciteable ways. To me it's not just about sex or bedroom play, but an overall feeling that can occure when my mind is brought into the equation. I'd prefer to defer to One's desire out of love and the warm glow of happy servitude then to serve out of fear. |
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I just got an e-mail asking how the sender could get to view parts of my body. My initial thought was "Permission from my owner". (It would have been a smart-assed remark, I know he would not acquiesce)
Then I recalled a time in my life many years ago when I was a waitress in a night club and some wrestlers from the WWF were in town and chose that spot as their hang out for the night. I'd gotten off work early and was enjoying the band, the bass guitar player especially as I was dating him at the time. One of the wrestlers wanted to dance with me and literally dragged me to the dance floor where I refused to perform for him. Upon learning about my relationship, he stormed the stage, stopping the music and asked my boyfriend if he could dance with me, to which the reply was "of course". I was incensed that this man would give me away so freely and without asking my own desires and immediately ceased relations with him.
I guess it just points to me a sharp contrast of where I was and where my journey brought me too, as I believe now if the same request was presented I'd react completely different and my emotional reaction would be completely reversed. |
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In my opinion there are 3 distinctive ways of having intercourse, each type has it’s purpose for it nurtures a part of the essence that creates the whole, the balance. Though individual equations vary, every person needs some of each type of intercourse to achieve total fulfillment.
Making Love- the Soul; this is gentle intercourse, where the emotion is fed. This is the tender time, the soft caresses, the butterfly kisses. During this process the show of love is the prevailing focus. I liken it to first thing in the morning sex, when the night has been spent in a lover’s embrace.
Having Sex- the Body; this is the most simplistic, most direct form of love making.love. We have sex when we are physically aroused and we need release. There is only one focus of this type of intercourse and that is the orgasm. How one gets there is not nearly as important, in other words—this is all about the destination and little thought is given to the journey. I think of this as afternoon sex, when one rushes home from work and rips off their clothes as well as their partner’s.
Fucking- The Mind; My personal favorite. This is when you have mind blowing sex, to put it succinctly. Sure physical sex is good, emotional love making is sweet, but getting the mind into the act creates an experience that can leave a person weak in the knees- literally. Fucking is about experimenting, playing, exploring limits. It can be the most base level savage lust filled act to a convolution of role play and toys. For some a bit of erotic talking will grab them—others have to delve a bit deeper to really achieve total mind-blowing orgasms. |
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The Submissive Woman
When most people hear this term they immediately think of kinky sex.
and they would be right, for I am a freak.
But the other side of that is the mental-- the power exchange that happens outside of the bedroom. You see, for at least all of my adult life and maybe even longer I've felt that a relationship isn't about equals, it's about a Senior partner and a junior partner. This doesn't mean that the junior partner is an idiot doormat that can't dial a phone to order pizza. But it does mean that she has chosen a mate that she can trust to lead.
I have no desire to be lead by a troglodyte, as a matter of fact, Dominance has to be earned, it has to be established that the One that I will follow is capable of making better decisions then I am. There has to be a history of decisiveness and assertiveness.
But He also has to quell my fears, I have to know that he is also my protectorate that while I am allowing myself to be vulnerable He will make sure that the vulnerability isn't mistreated. He will appreciate my submission and never take that personality trait for granted.
I will be his cherished pet, his property that he will hold dear to Him above all else and I will follow Him to the ends of the earth. |
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As someone who has always been opposed to the institution of marriage, I was suprised at my possitive reaction to formal collaring. In my mind this symbolism carries the security and longevity that the wedding ring has lost. |
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| Age: 38 |
| Woodland Hills,
California |
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