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MsBearlee

MsBearlee - photo 1
MsBearlee - photo 3

I do love to Top. If you understand that…perhaps we should get to know each other. I also love the idea of a manly man who delights in taking care of things. He should be bright, inquisitive and have interests other than those found here. He should be able to take care of himself, but delight in caring for me (read that: I can support myself, and expect you to support yourself, as well). I believe partnership is a win/win proposition…I delight in seeing my guy happy and think celebrating relationship is one of the loveliest things to experience. If it’s not fun, why bother?

I am an experienced, natural Top. I can hurt you deliciously. I like to have fun and I enjoy being sadistic. Do not confuse bitchiness with dominance; I do not want to wrestle submission out of anybody. You want to please me? ...do as I ask. It's as simple as that.  I like polite people.

I like people who enjoy Sadists. If you like having your limits stretched (over time, as trust builds), we could have an interesting time. I love the physicality of whips and things...if you understand that.......then yer mine!  Just remember everything is relative, I don’t have to draw blood; sometimes torture is exceedingly erotic.

I enjoy the BDSM club scene ('public' dungeons) where I can socialize, learn technique and play safely.  I'd like to find a play partner who enjoyed this, as well.  YES, public play may be required...at least at first.  I'm quite sensual in my play, so there must be a real attraction, but sex will certainly not be a part of our play...at least at first. 

I’d like to meet a guy, a straight, manly kinda guy who wants to experience bottoming…even submission…but who is not going to freak out if I don’t make him wear panties or pay big bucks just to get to know me. And I’m not at all interested in boys young enough to be my son.

Nor, have I any interest in men who are married or attached, I will not play with men I hardly know (read that…meet you at a hotel somewhere) nor am I particularly interested in kinky sex with part-time pals and I WILL NOT switch with you; Ever.

My idea of the perfect relationship here is getting to know someone who has the time and interest in developing a friendship…based in both vanilla and BDSM worlds; someone who has a life and likes it, someone who’s got a brain and uses it, someone who wants to explore the dark side of what it is we do here. It’s kinda like bowling, isn’t it? We don’t have to be lovers to be friends who like to play from time to time...but who knows where friends will go with time?
If you are serious about your interest in bottoming, submission or being a male wife, then write to me and tell me why we should get to know each other.

1/12/2008 11:01:27 AM

 

A Primer For Male Submissives: What Female Dominants Really Want:

 

“Hello Mistress. i beg of You to forgive me for this intrusion. i am a submissive male seeking a Mistress. i wish only to follow Your every command……i LIVE to please You. Please allow me to be Your unworthy slave. i promise i will follow Your every command. i will crawl across broken glass for You…i will shave my head in tribute to You…i will carve Your initials on my scrotum… i am Yours to use and abuse. Please, beautiful Mistress…”

 

On the other end of the line, my newly discovered ‘submissive’ is longing to hear me say, “YES slave!! You are MINE!!! Grovel for me and prove your unworthiness, WORM!”
 

My true reaction? I sighed heavily, shook my head in disbelief, then responded:


“Good evening. I am well, thank you for asking. Yes, the weather IS lovely here in
Maine tonight. Would I like to chat with you a few minutes; no, but again, thank you for asking.  Why not just send me a note telling me something about yourself.”


At which point, the reply I usually receive is a well thought out:

 

 “Huh?? What??”   

 

…but generally they just disappear.

 

Being a female Dominant (or Domina), especially one who occasionally ventures online, is NOT an easy task. Ask any Dommé you know - I’ll bet they have received more than a few instant messages like the one above.

 

Many submissive males, especially those online, seem to believe that all female Dominants are looking for a compliant, powerless submissive who will prostrate themselves 24 hours a day. These men mistakenly feel that the only way women will be interested in accepting them, as their submissive, is if they show their submission constantly and strongly. After all, a Dommé seeks a partner who will never speak unless spoken to, never show his intellect, never look her in the eyes, and never, never, never wants to be treated as her equal; right?

 

Wrong.

 

Of course, I can’t speak for every female Dominant - after all, there are those few who long to have a submissive who follows the example of my friendly internet suitor….but, for the most part, a Dommé seeks a partner who knows when to be a ‘submissive’ and when to be a ‘companion.’

 

Part of the problem many new (and some seasoned) male submissives experience is too much fantasy in their lives - mainly the S/m themed advertisements, the badly made domination films, and magazines that show vicious women manhandling their compliant and appreciative submissive males. For many men, especially those who have never had a chance to venture out into BDSM society or clubs, these images are the real thing. After all, the media doesn't lie, dies it?

 

But, as stated, this is fantasy. The reality is something completely different. And it is a reality that most male submissives either didn’t know existed - and are happy to discover - or reject automatically because the danger of the fantasy is more appealing than following the rules.

 

Gentlemen….I have news for you. Listen up, because what I am going to say will change your life….and hopefully your tactics!

 

A good Dommé wants……an equal partner; a sub who is confident, intelligent, caring, patient; has a good sense of humor, appreciates his partner, and realizes that a D/s relationship is a 50/50 prospect. That is not to say that the power exchange doesn’t swing in the Dominant’s direction - just that, when you get down to it, the Dominant cannot take unless the submissive gives…and for that to occur, the underlying relationship must be equivalent.

 

Sort of sounds like most relationships to you? It should. Deep down, most relationships -- straight, gay, BDSM -- are emotionally and socially pretty much the same. It is merely our means of expression (power exchange and perhaps sexual gratification) that differ.

 

Dominas are human, too. We require stimulating conversation. We enjoy a good challenge. We welcome genuine emotion and intelligence. In other words, we want a real person. On the few occasions that I have replied to one of my sniveling IM’s, and told men this, they seem completely confused.

 

Here is a sample of my “dream” IM from a submissive male:

 

“Good Evening, Mistress How are you this lovely evening? Are you interested in discussing the world global warming effects over the Arctic?”

 

Ok…not quite…but you get the point.

 

Intelligence is sexy. A ‘worthy opponent’ is a turn on. A submissive who is fun, witty, bold, a wonderful companion, and who dares to look you in the eye and ask questions is a worthy partner. Confidence, bearing, and the knowledge of WHEN to act submissive is equally important.

 

Having said this, I’m going to tell you in depth what most Dommés want.

 

Intelligence

 

BDSM partnerships aren’t all play, play, play! A Dommé wants a partner with whom she can carry on an intelligent conversation. Have you ever heard the saying ‘the sexiest organ is the brain?’ It’s true! You don’t have to be a Rhodes Scholar, but being able to discuss something other than CBT is a huge plus!

 

It takes intelligence to be a submissive. Submissives need to know the intricacies of both submission and Dominance just as well as do Dominants. After all - how else would a sub know if the Dominant is doing something incorrectly? Having a submissive who is intellectually, as well as physically, stimulating helps to keep partnerships intense, fresh and interesting.

 

A submissive who takes the initiative to continue learning about BDSM on their own time is also highly prized. BDSM is ever evolving - and a submissive who takes the time to stay current is not only an asset to his Mistress, but also to other submissives, who may look up to him as a Mentor.

 

Honesty

 

Nothing kills a relationship - any kind of relationship - faster than dishonesty. Be honest about your expectations, desires, needs, and wants. Also, be completely honest about partnership, family commitments, etc. Some men avoid honesty, fearing that it will ‘ruin their chances’ of finding a partner, especially if they have family obligations. But it is far better to be upfront than to be deceitful.

 

Some submissives are dishonest about their play-likes and dislikes in the scene. They worry that if they are not willing to do ‘anything,’ they will be perceived as ‘difficult’ or ‘topping from the bottom.’ As a Dommé, I immediately disregard emails from submissives that state that they will do ‘anything’ or that they have no limits. Everyone has limits, likes, and dislikes and one should be comfortable stating them; especially in a close partnership. A good Dommé will appreciate your honesty. Besides…it gives you both something to work up to, right?

 

Self Confidence

 

There are very few Dominas I have met who want a ‘doormat’ - a submissive who lives only to please, cannot think for himself, and gains his self-confidence ONLY from serving. Most female Doms want a submissive who is able to ‘stand tall’ even when he is kneeling - somebody who is confident about his position as a submissive and realizes that it makes him wanted and admired. Gentlemen - self-confidence is SEXY!

 

A self-confident submissive is a delight to behold. He is sure of his value, comfortable of his worth, and displays his self-confidence with quiet pride, but never arrogance. He knows that when he makes mistakes, he will benefit from them by learning from them. His posture is straight, his physical positions are held comfortably, and his face is serene but focused. A self-confidant submissive has about him his own aura of control - and this adds not only to his worth, but also his Dominant’s pride.

 

Responsibility 

 

Submission is a position of responsibility! Very often, submissives have chores and rules assigned to them - and it is expected that the submissive be responsible and follow them. Submissives who do not show responsibility, do not retain their partners for long! 

 

Responsibility extends far beyond completing chores; being on time when meeting your Dominant, knowing how to care for your Dominant without constantly being reminded, being prepared for play sessions, taking responsibility for packing, unpacking, and cleaning toys when necessary….the list goes on.

 

Responsibility also extends to your life beyond submission, your career, your family, and other aspects of existence, as we know it. A sub’s life should be full and varied - not based only on serving - and a sub MUST recognize when their real-life responsibilities take precedence over their BDSM lives. Family, work, military duty, and previously scheduled personal events (such as weddings, vacations, etc.) must come first.

 

Very often, new submissives - who fear losing or upsetting a Dominant partner - will place serving before his real life obligations. A GOOD Dommé will encourage a sub to remember his priorities and will work with him to find a schedule that accommodates both partners (remember our 50/50 lesson from earlier?). Any Dominant who insists that NOTHING come before her is NOT a Dominant worth having!

 

And yes….you have my permission to repeat that.

 

Dependability

 

Speaking of submissive responsibilities…..another trait that is very important - especially to Dominas - is dependability. I cannot tell you how many times I, have been disappointed by a sub’s failure to fulfill an assignment, or how many times I, and other Dommés I know, have agreed to meet with a submissive, only to have him either show up extremely late, or not show up at all! Being dependable is important!

 

Of course, life happens…traffic jams, unexpected problems at home…last minute assignments at work…..and a good submissive will immediately contact a potential Dommé and let her know of any delays or the need to renegotiate the time schedule of an assignment. It is far better to offer an honest explanation, and beg for leniency!

 

Caring

 

You don’t have to cry at Hallmark commercials…but having a sense of genuine caring and compassion is important. Your sense of caring should go beyond just your Dommé…..empathy toward your fellow submissives and brothers and sisters in BDSM is very important.

 

It is also very important that you have a sense of caring about yourself. No Dommé wants a pitiful person who endlessly knocks himself down. When you care about yourself, you are much more capable of caring about others. Caring is one of the bases of human relationships, whether that relationship be BDSM or vanilla. You don’t have to be ‘Mr. Merry Sunshine’ 24 hours a day - everyone is entitled to their down times - but being upbeat, pleasant, and caring toward yourself not only adds years to your life - it helps you find a partner a lot faster.

 

Humor

 

BDSM is a wonderful thing…and like all wonderful things, it can go absolutely, completely wrong! So having a good sense of humor is very important. Sure - BDSM can be really serious stuff - but it should also be FUN. If we don’t laugh at it, and during it, every now and then, we become quite boring!

 

Some of the best BDSM relationships I have seen are the ones where partners share humor between each other. There is nothing wrong with a Dommé and sub knowing when to kid and gently push each other’s buttons - a bit of mischief adds to the spice of the relationship - and gives Dommés a reason to break out the paddles!

 

Of course, there is a time and place for humor…and a well trained submissive will know the difference. But again…FUN is the key!

 

Creativity

 

When your Dommé asks you to do something special for her, creativity counts; male submissives who are able to show their affection and gratitude in a creative manner are greatly prized! Creativity may also extend into sceneing - helping a Dommé script new adventures and helping to set the scene.

Creativity is the one part of submission that sets most submissives apart…..most submissive will run a bath for their Mistress…it is the ‘creative’ sub who dims the lights, places out scented candles, and provides himself as a side table on which to place her drink and book while she relaxes in the tub.

 

Manners

 

The art of being a Gentleman has not died. Male submissives who follow the basic rules of societal etiquette are greatly prized!  Even in this day and age, a woman appreciates having a man open a door for her…and a Dommé is no exception.

Manners are the basis of the portion of the BDSM community known as the ‘Old Guard,’ where Emily Post would feel right at home and military protocol rules. Of course, you don’t have to be one of the few and the proud to have manners….just remember what Mom taught you, and you should be able to impress not only your Dommé, but also everyone else observing you while in service.

 

An Adventurous Streak

 

As stated earlier, everyone has their limits, but the submissive who is willing to be adventurous and try something new, stretching his limits, is a wondrous thing. A submissive who is willing to take that one extra stroke to experience the sensations that occur just past his threshold, or the submissive who will try something totally outrageous for the thrill of it, will not only discover something new within himself, but will also be a delight to his Dominant. After all, Dominants’ enjoy pushing limits and seeing just how much a submissive can endure…

 

Common Sense

 

They say that ‘common sense’ isn’t all that common….and, unfortunately, among some male submissives, that saying is true.

 

Common sense seems like a trivial thing - but it isn’t. Common sense is very important and prized by many Dommés. For example:  Would you send a sexually explicit, practically pornographic description of your mating habits to a woman on a vanilla dating site?  Would you include a picture of your little one-eyed friend? Ahhh….No. So, why would you send such a letter to a Domina?  It makes no sense; it’s just rude.

 

Good Grooming Habits


You’d think I wouldn’t have to extol the virtues of soap and water, but…  Dommés want a partner they would be proud to ‘show off’ in public.  Cleanliness and neatness count! Don’t greet your Dommé at the local Munch in your best WWF T-shirt….show her you care by dressing for her. A tux isn’t necessary - but a clean, pressed shirt and pants that don’t have worn out knees are nice.  Personally, I cannot abide tennis-shoes and tee-shirts with advertising on them.  Get out the big-boy shoes and wear a real shirt…or at least an adult-tee.  And clean your nails.

 

A submissive is a ‘representative’ of a Dominant…and the appearance of the submissive reflects upon the Dominant. Always present yourself looking your best, whether it be your first meeting or your 101st. After all, you want other Dommés to look at you and envy your Mistress, Right?

 

Be Real!

 

Be yourself. This is the simplest advice that most male submissives forget to follow….and the one thing almost every female Dommé is seeking….be the REAL you. Don’t try to be something you are not….a Dommé will see through this. Yes, you should make a good first impression, but always try to relax and let your true self shine through, because this is the person a Dommé wants to meet. Have faith in yourself….and the rest will all work out.

 

From the thread: "A Primer For Male Submissives: What Female Dominants are REALLY Looking For" by CruelDomina and found on this site.  Edited for readability and to personalize a bit.

 

1/6/2008 2:25:07 PM
If someone does not take ten minutes to read every word of my profile and the little journal that follows it, as well as respect my requests to remain polite and friendly (not pervy, not sleazy, not overtly submissive), and show some evidence that they have read the profile, (ie: are not writing from another country, are not young enough to be my child, mention a common interest), then there just will not be a response.  Consider it YOUR fault.
11/24/2007 9:43:32 AM
One of our dear ProDoms, AAkasha, wrote another fine little story here: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1426352/mpage_1/tm.htm (all submissive males should read this), and as usual she got me to thinking…

 

As suggested in the story, I am regularly contacted with the kinds of questions and demands, yes…demands. It makes no sense to me that otherwise bright, courteous people can, when their heat gets on, can turn into such oblivious idiots.

 

Okay, I understand that for many, many people, for the majority perhaps, BDSM and all that includes it, is purely for wanking enjoyment; dreams at best. But that is not how things are for those of us who actually live it.

 

When I have a submissive boyfriend living with me, he is first and foremost…my boyfriend. I care deeply for him and thoroughly enjoy his company. We keep the house up, garden, cook together (he handles clean up! LOL), watch television, entertain friends, travel, see movies; to the casual observer we are the same as any other couple you might bump into.

 

The difference is, he has pledged his desire to be my helpmate, to make my life easier; to honor and obey me, to care for me and of course has given authority for our relationship to me. While probably not married, he is the ‘wife’ as society generally defines the role. Before the 20th century, while a husband and a wife were a single ‘legal entity’, only the husband was allowed to exercise this right. As a ‘male-wife’ my partner accepts and desires that, in most things, I am the leader; the boss. It is going too far to say I am the man of the house, but I do have the authority.

 

Generally speaking, I like manly men. While there is something to be said for a man in panties, I do prefer manly-men who are in touch with their softer sides. I enjoy men who cherish and protect their women, rather like ‘knights in shining armor’ they are chivalrous, courteous, and obedient…and they like it that way. My guy does not need threat of corporal punishment to cause him to do things for me; he looks for ways to please me, because his want to please me is that strong. While not at all wimpy or unable to voice opinion, he rejoices in my pleasure every bit as much as I would rejoice in his. It is a win/win relationship where I would not have to drag submission from him, but he freely gives it because that is how he shows his devotion to me.

 

I have known submissive men who poke and insinuate and darn near demand that I play with them in certain ways. This behavior is not unlike my dog, who becomes quite a pain in the butt when he wants to play. Eventually he finds himself outside if he does not behave until I am ready to see to his wants. In the same way, it is inherent that a man learns to be patient. I will not jump when he says frog and am far more likely to get irritated if one continues to badger me. Like training my dog, I do not want to train my guy that constant pestering is a way to get what he wants; having said that, I do enjoy a great deal of play.

 

Play might be camping or fishing or I tying him up and erotically tormenting him for an hour or three. I might play hard or soft, I might thoroughly embarrass him because I know he likes that...or I might ‘demand’ he pleasure me and ‘reward’ him with no more than a pat on the head (till next time). You see, it is a beautiful dance and it is always for the delight of both partners. I understand the desire of a submissive and the ‘heat’ of it is rather like the desire of a chastised man; his need is what sends him, if he were not allowed to ‘need’, he would get frustrated. With that in mind, my guy will not always get what he wants when he thinks he wants it.

 

Still, our relationship looks like most others. He is not kept chained to the floor; I do not keep prisoners locked in the basement and I don’t dress in fetish wear 24/7. No, I do not cut the balls off men, nor want one to be my toilet and I certainly don’t want to permanently injure anybody (yes, I’ve been asked to do such things). I just wanna have fun.

 

And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is pretty much what real-life, 24/7, Dominant/submissive relationships are all about.

 

Thank you, AAkasha, for that delightful and insightful, story; I don’t think we can reiterate reality enough.
11/19/2007 10:26:28 AM


Pain; most people avoid it, some people crave it, a few are addicted to it.

But, why would someone cause pain to those they love and why do others seek pain from those they love?  It’s all in the endorphins…

There is a short article online (wikipedia.org re: Good Pain (BDSM)) regarding the phenomenon of ‘Good pain’ and ‘Bad pain’ which states: “ ‘Good pain’ is therefore pain which is mutually agreed, desired or permitted by the submissive partner to be experienced, and seen by them as of enjoyment or value. Examples might be, the pain of being bound in a position which becomes gradually harder to handle, or the pain or some forms of sensation play such as whips or edge play.”  ‘Bad pain’ is nonconsensual; even those who like edgy, BDSM play…do not like to stub their toe; that hurts!

The same source describes that ‘Sensation play’ in BDSM “can also involve sadomasochistic play, involving the application of carefully controlled stimuli to the human body so that it reacts as if it were actually hurt. While this can involve the infliction of actual pain, it is usually done in order to release pleasurable endorphins, creating a sensation somewhat like runner's high or the afterglow of orgasm, sometimes called "flying" or "body stress".” 

Sadomasochism refers to refers to sexual gratification in the infliction of pain or stress to the body, on or by another person.  Sadists enjoy inflicting pain; this may or may not be sexual in nature; masochists enjoy receiving pain, which again may or may not be sexual. In my mind, this kind of play, generally referred to as S & M, is always consensual. 

Such ‘painful’ sensation can be kissing and intimacy while blindfolded, the use of fur, feathers, maybe erotic tickling, sensory deprivation; biting, scratching, clamping with clothespins or similar devices, or perhaps restraint including tight bondage, or maybe the use of whips & floggers or crops & canes.  Such painful activities might be as simple as slapping or spanking or as complex as mummification and suspension or even be psychological in nature, as in scolding and interrogation scenes.  It might include some degree of humiliation from light embarrassment to total degradation; it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

This deliberate body stress, or ‘pain’ (even when pleasurable) causes endorphins to be released by the brain, which can be perceived as pleasurable.  Serotonin and melatonin are natural hormones that many psychoactive drugs (LSD, cocaine, etc) emulate, while Epinephrine and norepinephrine, other natural endorphins released during S/m play can cause the pleasurable rush sought after by experienced persons at either end of the whip.  It is this ‘rush’ or ‘high’ that runners and others who push their bodies experience and to which they become ‘positively addicted’. (See “Positive Addiction” by Dr. William Glasser).  So, what’s not to like?

I just wish I could help those who read my profile understand the nature of pain, that it is relative, that it doesn’t generally mean either damage nor trauma and blood is seldom included.  Pain, both the giving and the receiving, needn’t be a bad thing!

A good book on the topic:  “Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely” by Bill Henkin and Sybil Holiday is available on Amazon.com.

11/16/2007 1:53:29 PM

What is 24/7 D/s and could I actually live it?  Yes, in fact…I long to do so.

To me, 24/7 Dominance/submission (D/s) is not about having someone chained in the basement waiting for me to come play.  It is not about living in a cage, or always wearing restraints.  In fact, for all intents and purposes, living this lifestyle looks pretty much like any other; most people have no clue what goes on privately.

Perhaps ‘privately’ is the key here.  While I might ‘play’ a bit with good friends, by and large the general public never sees this side of my life.  I believe in the motto ‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’ and I just don’t believe the general public gives consent to see my boy following me at the end of a leash, into the grocery store.  I believe such play is for parties and get-togethers with like-minded people…or in the privacy of one’s home.  Period.

Still, I believe living this lifestyle 24/7 is possible.  In a D/s relationship someone is the leader and has the authority; that would be me.  The other generally follows…and has given authority to me.  That is not to say they’ve check their brains at the door, nor does it mean I won’t value their input on a great many things…it means I have final say.  It seems a perfect arrangement for one who likes to lead and for one who likes to follow.

I am no goddess, I am no better than my partner and I believe in mutual respect.  I’m a fairly private person; I’m not into swinging or casual sex…I keep my most private interests between my partner and myself.  I believe if both parties in a relationship are not having their needs met…what is the point?  Of course…those needs should be communicated and discussed regularly, so the pair can stay the course.

I’d like to find someone who has a sense of adventure and fun; someone who cares for his ‘dark side’ and enjoys being playful with it…even if that means sometimes experiencing pain or tears or perhaps doing something he’s not so interested in doing.  Perhaps he actually likes being told to do something he’s not wild about, or maybe he enjoys gentle teasing and humiliation play.  Whatever it is, his needs are important to me; how else would a relationship survive?  I’m looking for long-term.

10/12/2007 8:49:49 AM
Someone last night mentioned “Public Play”…and then this morning there is a thread on the same topic.  This has me thinking…what is ‘public play’?  
   
To me, public play is involvement with the BDSM community; occasionally attending munches, offering help to newbies, going to demos and discussions to learn more about the psychology or technique of a particular interest.  To me, public play is The Lifestyle.  
   
I realize some believe playing in public is wearing a collar and leash at Home Depot, or sitting in a restaurant trying to eat a meal, while someone plays with your genitals.  This kind of behavior is not for me.  I hold “Safe, Sane and Consensual” (SSC) close to my heart.  In my world, consensual means agreeing to witness a behavior not found to be objectionable.  I’m well aware the general public feels much of what we do more than a little objectionable.  No collars, leashes or fetish wear in public for me.  
   
In my world, public play does not generally include sex.  Yes, play at a local dungeon among friends is more sexually charged and open than anything found on the streets…but I have never seen really overt sexual behavior.  Once, in a secluded corner away from most of the rest of the folks, I noticed someone engaged in oral sex; fully clothed, I might add.  Still, in a local dungeon, the general public is not in attendance and the place is full of consenting adults.  When I go to such a place I am among people of like minds with regard to BDSM and all the energy and play that go with this lifestyle.   
   
To me, public play is a place to learn, to grow, to mature within the lifestyle.  It’s a place to meet people and join friends for an evening; it’s supportive, it’s educational, it’s reaffirming.  Heck, when I go to a dungeon, it's always fun...even if I don't 'scene'.
8/17/2007 3:45:12 PM

    What I don’t understand is why people act like a couple hours are insurmountable. Actually, I rather like the distance…at first.  I have no interest in being joined at the hip; I have a life and I enjoy it.  It would not be overnight that I would decide a person is someone I cannot live without; the space is a welcome…at first.  

     If two people are looking for partners in this rather small pond of ours, what IS a couple hours?  A couple times a month what does it matter to drive a bit for a long lunch, while we get to know one another?  

     I am no Pro-Domme, but I’ve decided I DO want a tribute!  I want a guy who is willing to put in the time and effort to get to know me.  Period.    For those of you who can't read, that means I do NOT want money of any kind...but I am interested in more than furtive meetings for a quick slap & tickle.

     I don’t have to be ‘in love’ to play with someone…and I’ll be kicking tires to determine if I might be ‘in love’ too; but I am NOT gonna meet complete strangers for kinky sex on a first date.  Yanno?

7/22/2007 9:20:16 AM

It absolutely cracks me up when a guy sends what is obviously a ‘form letter’ and then gets huffy when I call him on it.

It is clear when someone has not read my profile and sends some completely unrelated note to me telling me to contact him on YIM.  Not until I respond does his nic appear in the ‘Who’s Viewing Me’ list; and oddly, the date stamp is AFTER he's sent another note and blocked me!

Too funny!!!

6/25/2007 8:22:50 AM

Okay, I'm real-time.  I do not understand those who write to me who've not read my profile, send me one liners, or act like this is all fantasy.

Seriously...HOW can I beat you online?  What about submission will I enjoy from thousands of miles?  Do you really find people who will meet 'one who travels'...for a one night stand?

Please...read my profile and get real.  I like to play; just not online!

4/25/2007 10:29:18 AM

Yes, the pictures are fairly current.

No, I won’t respond if you are married, smoke, are too far away, or young enough to be my son.

I’d like to find someone who has a sense of adventure, of fun and who cares for his ‘dark side’.

I’d like to find someone who has time to explore and develop a relationship.  I’d like someone who has the time and means to drive a measly couple of hours to be with me.  I will do the same; but expect to be met at least halfway.

I expect to support myself…but not you.

What part of this is so difficult to understand, I wonder?  

3/31/2007 2:59:54 PM

Honey, I’m hoOOome! 

Oh, wait!  I mean…. “I’m baaAck!” 

LOL   Okay, you all have seen this profile before.  I like it; though sometimes it can be a little overwhelming trying to keep up with the folks who just don’t READ!   

Please, I’ve no interest in shipping somebody from across the country, or world (!) to be my playmate of the evening. 

I’m here to make friends, to get to know more people in the lifestyle and to hone my abilities with the tools that we use.  WEG 

Yes, I’m real, real-time only and I have references. 

1/1/2007 9:39:04 AM
Well, it's happened yet again; I exchange mail here with some charming man, I decide I rather like him; we share YIM ID where I discover a large discrepancy in the age stated; I ask about it...only to learn (yet again) that he doesn't look his age, that men half as old as he is cannot keep up physically, AND...lotsa women lie about their looks posting 20-year old photos. When will they learn???

I'm 58, no spring chicken myself, but my photos are current and I do not lie about my age; what IS the point, don't they know it will come out eventually? To be told (again) 'age is just a number' nauseates me. If that is the case, why make such a freaking big deal about it? Even mentioning 'withholding information' shows how well he'd submit, did nothing. Well, except that now I won't be meeting an otherwise very interestging man...because he refuses to tell me how old he is! Sheeshhhhhhhhhhhhhh! What IS up with that???     So far, most of the men who lied to me about their age have also lied about their marital status, where they live, what they look like today...even their true interest in a BDSM relationship. Perhaps that's it; they WANT to keep it all online? It's not like I cyber or play at power enchange online...it's a hard limit, actually. So...what IS the point?
Whada way to start the new year...
12/14/2006 9:22:27 AM
I am not Pro, I own my own home and can support myself. I am not a goddess and am not interested in female supremacy. I don't have children at home and would prefer you do not either. You may treat me to dinner from time to time, I will cook for you from time to time (but you'll do the dishes! LOL) 

While I think some teasing and humiliation can be fun, I'm just not into degradation (and...no, watersports and a good foot fetish are not degradation; they're erotic!)

I thoroughly enjoy various BDSM activities...including floggers and whips and canes and things (oh my!). I am not into permanent injury; I respect limits but am happy to push them, too. Everything is relative, but I expect eventually you will learn more about BDSM, pain and activities I enjoy.

I want a man, a friend, a playmate...and I expect to laugh a lot.

I live in south central CO: Denver/Springs are 2-3 hrs, Taos/SanteFe are also. Amarillo is 4.5 hrs, so is Larkink KS and Goodwell OK. So...as you can see I'm centrally located! LOL

I have no interest in LDRs, unless you can meet me sooner than later, and visit regularly.  I'm not interested in married men, men young enough to be my son, and I don't switch; EVER.   Thanks.
4/5/2006 7:43:29 AM
FYI ...if you want to receive mail, even responses to notes you send, you have to have a PROFILE! (what a concept!)  You also have to have read MY profile! 

And no, I do not accept Chat Requests from complete strangers.

barbieslut4u
 
 Age: 35
 St albans, United Kingdom