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It appears that this account does not work; I cannot get site mail. So if you tried to respond to me and got no answer, I'm very sorry. The bit bucket ate it...
My new account is KingAndCo - and so far, appears to work. |
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After some thought, I've taken "verbal humiliation" off my interest list, because it's one of those things that's subject to a great deal of potential misunderstanding.
It's very common to confuse humiliation with humility. I may well decide that a slave is to be addressed as "cunt" or "funbags" or what-have-you. But my *goal* would be - eventually - to build a mental state of acceptance and humility; a strong core for a state of humble, willing service.
It's not particularly a kink of mine, either, to denegrate a person; it just happens to be a sharp tool useful towards a particular end. A prideful slave might well find herself used as a urinal, picking up dogshit by hand and other disgusting, demaning things, until her pride and her willfulness was broken.
But that's not where the good work ends; that's where it can start, and that's why I don't have it on my list o' kinks.
Pride and self-will gets in the way of a slave's mindset and can ruin truely elegant, un-selfconcious service.
As I say, leave your ego at the door. If you will not, pass on by. If you cannot, but genuinely wish to, I have the tools to make it so. |
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It's all to familiar to hear submissives and slaves complain of clueless, rude, presumptious inconsiderate wannabes taking up their time.
But there are enough clueless, rude, inconsiderate wannabe "slaves" to even the score for those who's complaints in that regard are completely justified and never returned in kind.
I brought a self-described slave's attention to a problem with her profile description and was met with a fairly snippy, dismissive reply.
I responded moderately and I think in a gentlemanly way, as follows, explaining the problem I saw further.
"Oh, I'm always quite sure about what I said too - and all too often it's open to interpretaions I didn't see. I try to run these things by my wife before I hit the "send" key when it matters... :)
<i>I am NOT interested in serving Couples or Masters who plan to have more than one slave. I seek a monogamous relationship.</i>
Here's what is unclear. Suggest:
"I am NOT interested in serving Couples, nor Masters who plan to have more than one slave. I seek a monogamous relationship."
That shoud cut down on your mail load. :)
And like I said, hoping I was clear, it wasn't a wanna, nor is it a put-down of your desires. "
I got this response:
"I don't consider anything a put down of my desires.... my profile is clear to people, there is no need to change it, but thanks for the constructive criticism."
It would not be hard to take offense at this, it's certainly not at all submissive, one could even legitimately take it as a sarcastic insult. I *chose* not to, as the "slave" in question is both young and inexperienced.
I responded with the gentlest possible correction, still addressing the original issue and fairly much leaving my personal feelings out of it.
"The last I checked, I was people, and clearly it wasn't clear to me. If there were not a need to change it, I woudn't have said anything. Unlike others here, I do not spend my time casually looking for an easy lay or a diverting hour in chat.
You may wish to work a little bit on your manners; this could be interpreted as a disrespectful dismissal.
It is a very, very small scene, dear; it's a habit that will bring you a poor reputaton. More importantly, it will fuck with your headspace, and that is the very opposite of your desires, whatever else might be said of them.
There. I'm done. :->"
In return; I got this - and was blocked from responding.
"Yes, and you may want to work on your people skills.... you come off a bit arrogant.. there is no room for that in the "scene" either."
I am self-assured, and am both older and considerably wiser. Some may see that as arrogance. But it's certainly arrogant to behave in the same way with no justification or basis.
I have no problem with slaves or submissives who are not interested in what I have to offer. And in her case, I'd made no such offer, or given any hint that I might, merely an observation on the level of "your slip is showing, dear."
I'm left with the conclusion that this person is insincere and/or completely clueless; her behavior reminds me of that expected in a badly-regulated chat room, and her assumptions about me bode ill for any male unwise enough to become entangled with her.
The moral here is simple: I state this for myself, not implying this is a should or must for anyone else;
I consider basic courtesy an absolute requirement.
Any profile that reveals direspect for Masters, dominants and men in general as a class is passed over. I'm not here to prove that I'm worthy of you. You have things completely backwards and I've no time for your drama or your petulant "challenges" to my status and authority.
If I wished to put up with that sort of nonsense, I'd be on a foster care site for troubled youth. Note that I am here instead.
In this particular case, there was room for misundersanding about a stated desire; I politely asked a simple question and was met with rude disrespect.
The slave in question should be greatful that I'm not making their identity obvious in public, and hope that this is the extent of my urge to gossip.
As I said to her; "it's a small scene."
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Another phrase that makes me snort:
"I'm looking for the One...," after a list of things that says she's wanting to be owned, fully owned, used without limits (and especially in several particular ways).
But she's looking for the One. That one has to be not married and have no other slaves that might distract the One from her.
Ok. Where did his last slave go, and why?
Look, dear, if you want a D/s marriage, a good old-fashioned Catholic-approved wedding, just say so. It's a perfectly respectable ambition.
But if you wish to become a slave, or if you are a slave, then the best recommendation is that your "one" has done this before, and has kept his slave after having made them one.
One of the real potential dangers in the scene are those addicted to the process of slave-breaking. They make you into a walking carrot, and then they discard you. Some arrange a new position, others do not.
I don't do that. I'm looking for someone who I can keep indefinitely. And that person will have to accept that my abilities and talents need to be expressed.
Possessiveness is MY attribute; it cannot be yours.
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Words that make me pass by:
"Must" "Never" "Always" "Only"
What part of "master" do you not yet comprehend? Tell me your preferences, don't give me orders; it's my job to meet your needs, and if it were something you were good at doing, you would have stopped reading several paragraphs above.
Phrases that make me cringe:
"Wealthy Master."
And not just because I'm not weathy; it's the presumption that your perky tits entitle you to a wealthy master.
Such a sense of entitlement, of being owed a particular master who will use you in a particular way leads to troubles that many of us don't care to repeat.
What happens when you flunk the pencil test, dear thing? When you are no longer arm-candy?
Or from another angle, the idea that money works better than any other form of control.
Ain't true; there's some skill involved in this, and if that's your only criteria for appropriate Master, I suspect the skilled, wealthy masters will snort as loudly as I.
The thing you have to undesrstand about me (and others like me) is that up-front disrespect for us as a class does not impress us, and we are more than willing to let you fiddle with the horny net geeks until you understand that you can't manipulate anyone into being the particular master you crave - it's self-defeating.
We all have our skills and our specialities; the way to find out is to be open, ask questions and be willing to adapt. You know, a bit of submission, not to me, but to reality.
I'm not about "getting what you want," I'm about ensuring you have what you need. That's my job, I'm good at it, and whether or not I'm a good fit for you, I deserve the respect anyone is due for having spent years developing a true calling.
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It's simply courtious to answer a query with a few words, even if it's just "no thanks."
Likewise, do not expect me to attempt to dominate you in text; I consider it silly and rude. When I can grab you by the hair, and have an agreement in hand that makes that appropriate, then you will be able to see that aspect of me.
Until then, you will just have to take my word for it; I'm not into posturing. |
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We shall see how this works out. My goal here is to get a truly worthwhile tpe slave as part of my household. I'm lifestyle, so TPE is moderated by the necessity to be practical about Real Life™.
Nonetheless, I am a sadist. And I'm intolerant of bs.
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