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skneedshelp
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torturedLesbian
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Hello. I seek a female masochist slave (NO MALES WHATSOEVER!), for eventual “live-in”, life-time relationship. I'm terribly passionate about what I've explained here, very serious. Please read profile and journals thoroughly!
I'm Lisa, 31, and am a very feminine Lesbian. I have been dominant & practicing ”erotic, intimate sadism” since 18. I am well experienced in dynamics of the owner/slave lifestyle, and my singular desires for my slave and I have evolved into a fine-tuned intense & passionate relationship dynamic. I’ve had three long-term (live-in) FEMALE slave relationships (roughly a year each. A constellation of factors precluded my interest in settling down with one. I’ve learned well what creates balance in my life & home with a slave. In a nutshell, ultimately both feel safe, and at home, in the love that flows differently, yet flows still between the two.
I am very creative, passionate, intense (with a strong thread of romantic for good measure), and I believe this is plain in my words. I live in Southern California...in the hills, on the ocean. I'm 5'6", 118 lbs, true gym rat.
I look for a very cute/attractive, service-oriented whore, one who holds no agenda’s other than a soul-deep need to serve the one she respects, trusts, and looks to for direction. One who finds pain sexually stimulating, as well as humiliation, degradation, (face, tits, and body slapping) exhibitionism, public nudity, and cuddling/kissing necessary to feel whole and truly alive. Together we can broach most anything that happens our way, as long as we can feel that the other is “home” for us, both happy as hell .
Distance. Should a true and loving bond form between us, location becomes irrelevant. Anywhere, to CA., is a mere plane ride away.
I have found that sincerity and a genuine heart are very rare commodities here. Simply show me your head and heart in the manner in which you write me, the words you choose, the ‘eagerness’ to offer the photos I ask (later in the profile), and the extra steps you take when asked for information.
You must be candid and comfortable with the language of a whore. Regarding yourself in the third-person: “this whore, with fat, aching tits, would love to speak with you My Mistress. I hope you will want to learn more about this filthy slut and how she feels she can serve you”.
That's the manner in which you speak with me from fist contact. Is that clear?
One who will (learn) to cum violently at my whisper, or my stretching her fat nipple beyond reason. She sobs,gasps at the power of her orgasm, and the joy she feels in loving her Owner in the needy, desperate fashion she does.
If you find me attractive thank you, but that's NOT the reason to seek me as owner. CONSIDER my words, my ideas, my 'style', my sadism, my need for a limitless whore, one who hungers for this relationship, is capable of a desperate-needy-love, proud to Love so intensively and passionately there is a wildness, an insane surrender. You need to embrace pain fully, not 'endure" it.
Being together is a gift; becoming "home" for the other. I'm looking for one to live with me, completely convinced, we needs to meet me and decide. This is a woman I would brand in a year...and eventually marry if she chooses. I'm monogamous.
If this is NOT you, not your spin on a relationship, cannot relocate for a year, are playing at this to kill time, etc., please don't start. My radar is very keen and through my very tough discovery I'll know if you're "real".
I use Yahoo to converse. If we decide to meet there and 'talk', it needs to happen within 24 hours of your mail. It demonstrates sincerity I believe.
Thank you for taking your time to read this. I cannot show you my heart, or intentions here, but can make them clear in discourse if you’ll risk reaching out to me. I communicate easily. Write me and open gracefully.
Lisa.
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ZERO interest in switch slave, poly affiliation, and/or ANY type of relationship other than what I clearly define in my profile.
Please don't waste your time writing, I won't be reading it.
Lisa |
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Whew.
The days go by slowly and the years fly.
I've come so close. Still haven't found her.
Aren't you out there? |
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I don't stop by CM often. The players have made taking CM at all seriously. Having said that...I just ended a wonderful connect with a sweet whore. After four-five very long phone/cons, a red-flag became a deal-breaker, but the experience was well worth the time spent. She'll read this, I want her to know how desirable she is, her style and sexuality absolutely stunning, an attitude any man or woman would choose: no games, real, trusting and hungry.
I'd be less than honest not to say I fell for you - so fucking wish it could have been. Truly. |
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Interesting. I have been a CM member for some time. Responses have trailed-off, and I have no clue what to attribute this to.
While my life and sex life are just fine...I've not found the one girl who has the particulars I need & want to settle down with. Frustration. Feel free to say hello if my words move you.
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DomDemand New
This screen-name not meant as a link, nope, just to identify ass who sent it!)
"Dom "Demand", no less. Is that the screen name of a real skippy, or what?
Ladies don't you just adore mail from monkey people like this. Though I've made plain no males, this twit needs to come over and piss on my mail box. No I did not open the mail, just wanted to vent a teeny bit. smile.
Enjoy your day,
Lisa
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Wow. Things have slowed substantially. Perhaps I've overstayed the time one should be on CM <smile>.
Off-line, real world, I've met some very remarkable chicks, a few with real potential. And though we might have become lovers/avenues to get the nourishment we need, "the one" alludes me, and I'm wondering if it is - 'me'.
The most difficult traits, I find most elusive, are extreme loyalty and a heart w/o agenda. Intelligence w/o the need to over-thing "me".
Girl, if you're out there...take the risk and say hello?
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Sweet piece of mail:
"Have you not found your whore Miss?"
Debbie
debbie,
if i had found the "one" i wish to live my life with, i would be off CM already. i am most likely to find her locally, and quite by "accident", but i have met some very sweet whores here. the unfortunate is that with every hope, the online-process let's me (us?) down. something seems to fall apart.
so no, i have not found the one i wish to spend my life with as yet. i remain optimistic and very happy with my life. i KNOW, one day, she will come my way.
thank you for taking time to ask...smile.
Lisa
So, for all of you searching, I wish that your path rises to meet you and your "one" comes your way so much faster than you could hope.
Very best,
Lida |
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In a recent (written) conversation with a female slave, In trying to answer some questions in a meaningful way, I found myself pounding out ideas, refreshingly w/o consulting my "head", just rapid-fire affect.
I thought it might have relevancy to the Owner/slave relationship as seen through my eyes, so I add it here in hopes that some slave will read this and an epiphany will make her better understand me. It's long, and I failed at editing it down. Have patience with it if it "speaks to you". This slave's name, and references to identity, have been removed.
Disgusting little whore xxxx:
(1) "sometimes it happens when I'm out of control".
whore, I feel allowing oneself to be 'safely' out-of-control is wonderful. the most feeling potential, intimacy, and self understanding lies there. it's a shame you feel it a negative, perhaps no one has ever "held you" while you flew out of control.
(2) "take out your sexual aggressions".
the need to inflict pain is woven through my character like the constellation of dynamics that make me who I am, a tapestry that is Lisa. uniquely, part of my satisfaction is in stepping beyond socially acceptable.
if a vanilla lesbian couple found one coming home late, and slapping her partner roughly to vent some of the days stressors, it's likely there would be a "911" call placed <smile>. Wonderfully, in a lesbian coupling of a sadist and masochist, those slaps would not only be acceptable, but adoringly erotic and signaling love-making to come. Going where society frowns excites the shit out of me. Holding you in a crowd, pulling your top off to expose your beautiful and fat whore's tits, grabbing one roughly and chewing it's nipple until you moan uncontrollably, everyone now watching (regardless of their reactions), finds Me wet and "jazzed", ready to rip a fucking pig slut xxxx apart. taking pig xxxx home and sucking her cunt until she passes out from cumming so hard, so very long.
rather like my response to being Lesbian, not a "different" female, but another type of "loving". Fuck the world. let me step beyond standard social mores, and take my slave home, by the hair, with a wonderful sense of belonging, maybe a smirk on her slut face.
(3) "am i not different from them, am i? please tell me i am the same as the others you degrade, no worse."
cute pig fucking, disgustingly whorish xxxx...
you seem lost in between what you feel, what you are, and what you THINK you "should be". I am a practicing clinician in the field of psychology, have been for four years now. Whatever psychologist told you change was impossible, isn't worth the parchment of their degree. that's another story.
you are only different from other whores I have degraded, in the way you see yourself. I do not randomly degrade slaves. I must feel some warmth, some fondness/loving, to "share" that intimacy with them. That's the romantic in me. pain for the sake of pain is pointless, I don't get off on making a chick suffer needlessly. Intimate, consensual introduction of pain, when both take great pleasure, is the only time venting my need is satisfying. I would not be writing to you whore, in this fashion, if I didn't feel you were taking some pleasure from it. feeling understood and aroused. "grunting in the shadows", need not be a fate, it may be a sweet indulgence, have you considered that?
perhaps you need simply to appreciate all the wonderful things you are, not a cunt-mouth-and asshole to be passed around without regard. does being passed around like a whore arouse you? or does it make you feel less-than and bring you down?
I like you xxxx, it's what allows me to type these notes to you, offering food for thought. your wonderful way with words, and writing enjoyment are adorable. are you able to care for someone who degrades you, or is it JUST service, something you were put on this planet to be, a thing - unlovable?
I love the way you degrade yourself, it's sincere and genuine. feeling the disgusting filthy animal with parts to fuck is wonderful if you feel you can be loved for that. if I thought referring to you in this fashion were hurtful, I would no longer. If you want me to continue, tell me, have the courage to ask for what you want you filthy little animal whore.
stop worrying (you are so cerebral, perhaps too much in your head, not enough in your heart & gut).
little filthy disgusting pig sue, I can tear you apart with my words, to a place I sense you fear, or seems too intense? since these are just words, just imagines scenarios, why not find what truly makes you feel good, what your real limits are, and WHO you really are as we get to know one another?. If anyone were able to do break you, I know that would be me. not braggadocio, hardly, I simply know myself so well, and I feel so much potential in you, you piece of shit, cunt sucking filthy slut <smile>.
As always, I welcome ANY thoughts, comments, observations, and opinions where my profile, and journals, are concerned.
Lisa.
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I loved this piece (courtesy of "Bondageis4Lvrs" - Thanks!)
"Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of
your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services
to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end
hour,
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,Nor think
the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once
adieu.
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may
be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of
naught
Save where you are, how happy you make those.
So true a
fool is love that in your will,
Though you do any thing, he thinks no
ill."
~ William Shakespeare |
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"MoreMsMandy",
it seems to me (based on images - and what i've read, you are openly suggesting you can be solicited for monies. this is not the place for prostitution. there are people here, like myself, trying seriously to find someone.
if you do not remove those images suggesting monies be exchanged, and ALL other content to that effect, i will report your profile (not simply CM), rather the FL. vice/criminal activities authorities. i've done this before -
i ASSURE you, i will gladly do it once again.you have 48 hours to do so as of 01.27.10 (AM) PST.
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Hello:
It has occurred to me, many of those insincerely here (players), assume that others are players as well. They have a difficult time wrapping their minds around sincerity, relationship dynamics, and the toll a search for love can take. They are simply killing time-with counterfeit interactions. A damn shame. .
The time I've been on CM, I've been through 2 fascinating, but false starts, and met many that I'd spent hours in discovery with, trying to determine our conformity. Time well worth taking if real "grok" can be found.
I never dumb-down my words here. I am what I am. Words are so critical to feeling understood - dynamically understanding another.
As I have before, I welcome feedback from any FEMALE (dominant or slave) that has thoughts, comments, observations as to how my "presentation" here (CM) comes across. I am, have always been about, 'responsible' honesty.
Thanks for your time!
Lisa.
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Thanks to those who dropped notes re: my mother. It was a very hard time, and I believe I've put the loss sufficiently behind to move on.
Looking, still, for my intense slave to become part of me.
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My mother passed. Very strange, very surreal not having her to pick up the phone and chat with. Lots of old issues. I'm OK. Unfortunate we cannot select family as we do friends & lovers. Hanging in...
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CM 'encounters' being singularly different than 'person-to-person' contact...and in consideration of the overwhelming demographic of 'players' & insincere, to those female slaves 'seriously(?)' invested in CM as an alternative resource in finding a true path, a true life-mate and owner, I do wonder what "language and/or dynamics" I've expressed here that's kept a true heart from reaching out to me as a potential owner.
PLEASE - feel free to drop me mail with any thoughts, comments, suggestions, and observations. I'm terribly open-minded, and not a fragile ego.
Be fascinating to receive thoughts from SINCERE female slaves here - that have checked my profile, but opted to not make that contact. I'm quite serious, please don't hesitate.
Thanks in advance...
Lisa.
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Some come so very close - just not quite 'right'. Find me?
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collar me is both compelling...the few wonderful connects, as well as hell dealing with it's various sundry 'players'.
Still open for the right female slut.
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I've been in the waters of a slippery, stormy relationship attempt. Was not the stuff that lifetimes are made of unfortunately.
The world is a mess. Still...I need a loving female slave who will cling to me, moan for me, see nothing but me...and carry us through this cold place.
Lisa. |
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Found someone only to have it fizzle. Seems she was not truly looking for a 'long-term' relationship, which I AM! I'm here and open to talk. Lisa... |
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You....I cannot believe you did that. How cool you are indeed...warmsmile. |
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Addendum to journal & creative planning.
I've got to admit, I'm truly stumped. Let me add another caveat to make my time, as well as yours on CM, more efficient.
The EXACT wording for your initial mail to me is covered in my profile and the last journal entry. It's just that simple and non-negotiable.
I do receive provocative mail, penned exactly as I requested. I respond, asking the whore to be CERTAIN she aches to pursue this with me.
A response comes with words from a slut's lips telling of how she hungers to be owned and used thoroughly. "Please, she will write, make this fucking pig your pig."
So...I write back explaining how to set a time, within 24 hours, to meet for a 'talk' on Yahoo. Fascinatingly...it often ends there.
NOTE: should I respond to your mail with interest in talking, if you do not respond with best times, etc., within 24 hours, your mail is deleted and you'll be blocked. PERIOD.
My intent is not to be rude, certainly not blind the the very tight schedules of active women. I believe however, the TRULY serious sluts will manage at least a quick mailing to purpose a time to hook-up on Yahoo. With a few brief mailings (ALL within that 24 hour period), a time to 'talk' can be planned.
This is all the case for one who is SINCERELY interested...not a player or poser. I hope this is clear and what I hope to accomplish is obvious as well.
I plan to work around the bullshit artists here and make room for the slaves who are here trying to find the "one"...as am I.
Thank you for understanding the path I've chosen to keep things real here. Always and always...please, feel free to be BLUNT HONEST with me. There is NOTHING you cannot tell methat will find judgement. I seek to be understood as well. TEST ME OUT? |
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NOTE: We're hip deep in crap on CM, and it becomes difficult to peel the player's mail from the sincere. Let's make this GLARINGLY easy for everyone's sake.
(1) ALL initial contact mail must read,
"Greetings LadyLisa. This whore
believes she is pecisely the slut you
seek, and is formally posting to be
your live-in slave."
When I see those exact words, I'll know I can feel comfortable a "slave" took the time to follow directions, as requested. Having a whore's orientation, it was likely comfortable for her to display humility & respect. ALL mail without this format will be deleted without regard for content. After we have spoken a few times, communication can begin simply with, "This whore greets you Lady Lisa." Pretty damn simple, & what I truly expect.
(2) All initial mailings must contain TWO (2)
photos. One that provides a full body
image, and another that is a CLEAR
FACE SHOT. Indroductory mail, without
these two photos will be deleted sans
regard of content. All mail, initial
contact or otherwise, must include a
photo, so I may instantly put face
with name.
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED, CONTACT ME FIRST. DISPLAY REAL INTEREST. I feel these requests will optimize identification of the sincere, and the poser. Thanks to those who cooperate. It is truly means to survial on CM. *smile* |
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INTERESTING IDEA! Would those females who stop and thoroughly read my profile/journals, but for ANY reason opt to not make contact, throw a very brief mail my way saying what was either positive...or negative for them? I do realize this request is an inconvenience, but hope some good-hearted souls will provide short feedback.
Just provides thoughts on what attracts, and what makes one back away. Thanks to those that do in advance. I assure you your mail will NOT be followed with anthing by me.
I am glad to provide the same if it is requested of me! Perhaps we can lift some of mystery of views vs contacts. *smile*
Lisa |
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I have had a couple women assert that they cannot open thier correspondence to me with the words I ask in my profile ("Hello. I've read your profile & journals completely, and humbly offer myself for consideration as your Live-In slave.") because they simply don't know me well enough. I think what's being missed is rather simple.
Two things:
One, I've asked for the specific language for a first contact, to seperate those here to 'play' with other's time&minds, from the seriously interested.
Two, I do believe my profile is comprehensive enough so that a slave can consider all I've described, tastes, interests, and compare this much to her own hungers...enough so she can feel accurate and confident saying to me: "Yes, i'm with you 100% thus far.
This takes a great deal of guess work out of the initial contact. Agreed it does not allow for wedding plans (smile), but it does serve to leave a good deal of Q&A/guess work, out of that FIRST time talking.
I'd be foolish to ask that people do the "right thing" here. It's an open, free forum to act-out in any manner people choose. Therefore, I put as much in place as possible to circumvent the posers, from the sincere. My radar is excellent. I can call a poser/player in just minutes. They simply don't have a clue.
You can IM me here (CM's 'INVITE TO CHAT'), or, if you've Yahoo, we can talk more comfortably there. Please provide your yahoo ID with mail. I will reciprocate with mine in following mail.
Looking forward...
Lisa |
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Watching the waters ebb and flow, I feel alone.
I was vaguely aware of this restlessness this afternoon, playing touch football after brunch. As was said...in a crowd, surrounded by people and I feel the absence of you. To hold this drizzly day, watch some old flix with. Chasing one another on the beach, and showering to press my hot flesh agaisnt yours. Feeling the quickening of our breathing...tits rise and fall, eyes wide with anticipation...running the back of my nails along your neck, down and acroos your tits and snagging on a turgid nipple, your belly (hairs raised with the chill), along you thigh. Opening your legs and the scent of you is strongand sweet like blackstrap molasses.
I part the swollen labia, your back arches a bit, my face lowers until my warm breath is hard contrast to your hot flesh.
Delicately tracing your clit with just the tip of a soft tongue you shiver and grab your tits hard, digging your nails in, a deep, throaty gurgle escapes your lips aching...needing. Again I move carefully. "PLEASSSSE....!" You don't scream this. Rather a lonf stretched groan that tells of the pressure and tension stored in that swollen nub.
My lips fall lower... |
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Gawd I sound hungry. I am...and terribly passionate, and that seems to stud my words and feelings. The INTENSITY does not run senslessly. I'm very focused about what I want (as my profile paints.) If you have any 'wonderings' after reading me, write and ask. I'd be glad to here your questions. Do open the e-mail as I asked in my profile.
Thanks,
Lisa. |
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What I seek I believe to be rather rare. I don't check CM daily. I do however get to my mail at least weekly. If you feel inclined to contact me, and don't hear back in a day, or two, feel free to mail again professing your interest. I rather like that.
"Once a tear fell off my cheek and into the ocean, the day I find it will be the day I stop loving you my whore." Lisa |
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Dan...your music carried many souls, and will. May you soar with the high winds, and run with the currents of the sea you loved so. You will never be forgotten...Thank you for the music.
Ever On... |
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OBSERVATION: It seems that any two lovers have a "style" uniquely their own. Any two will find a manner to communicate what each needs to not only be satisfied, but to take the union to places each, seperately, never thought possible. I am a femme dominant personality. I don't wear the attitude of a "dominant" (I believe that is indicative of a character disorder...smile), rather my dominant needs, and the sadistic chord that runs through me, are simply ways I hunger to express myself in loving another woman, my whore, my slave, my lover, and best friend.
Still I receive mail with commentaries about cigarette burns or light knife play being, "over-the-edge."
It absolutely slays me, that in a bdsm environment, there are those still preaching, buying, thier manner of being dominant, or slave, is the RIGHT way. Some are simply thick and will not grok that everyone is entitled to love in a manner singular to his/her needs. Seeking the slave who will be the vessel for my predisposition to a dominant (and a sadistic thread) character. I need a "slave (distiction between submissive and slave - slave being one able to objectify herself, offers herself and heart without limit-save children-who feels her hungers so deeply, so passionately, she probably has the same difficulty finding one who groks her needs. I find the constellation of desires so hard to find in the slave I seek.
I am, as much as anything else, a dyed-in-the-wool-Romantic. I love very hard and need that desperate loving in return...almost/perhaps true obsession. One who puts me before herself not for "duty", but becauise her love for me is so intense, she is protective. The same is true for my slave. I never punish a slave. If she loves me so, and errs being human, how could I punish this? If her heart is true, she will punish herself at my disappoinment.
We try to be strong, even when our hearts are breaking...we smile and cry into our pillows:
"May the trail rise up to meet you
May your heart rejoice in song
May the skies be fair above you
As you journey ever on.
Ever on--ever on
Ever on--ever on.
And in this planetary circle
We are but a single stone
Spinning on our fragile axis
Through the endless night along.
Ever on--ever on.
May your love be there to
guide us
May it always keep us strong
May we walk within your footsteps
As you lead us ever on.
Ever on--ever on."
soar in the high winds...glide in the currents of the sea you love so. we will miss you so.
Daniel Grayling Fogelberg/1951-2007 |
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| Age: 44 |
| Withmymaster,
Canada |
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