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For a proper version of my profile, with links to explanations of lots of things, please visit
Female Submissive, 46,  Shoreline, Washington


Byrdie - View Full Profile   View All Photos

StraightFemale Dominant
Age: 48, Height: 5ft 6in (168 cm)
Location: Seattle, Washington
Last on 6/21/17 at 9:19 AM










Last Online:


 Submissive Female



 5' 4"






Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Switch Women

Friends Only


For a proper version of my profile, with links to explanations of lots of things, please visit my FetLife profile (same user name), or go to


  My name is Khaos.
I am a free woman. I am not a "Domme" or a "sub". I am a naturally dominant woman with submissive tendencies, who knows her place in the order of nature. This means that I am conditionally deferential to free/dominant men, and may submit to certain men, at my own discretion. I will frequently use "Sir", as a term of respect, and will be deferential and generally respectful to free men until/unless they give me cause to withdraw it, at which time, I will do my best to remain civil, at the very least. That said, my patience is not infinite.

I am not submissive to women. If you are a FW, domme, mistress, etc, I will treat you with respect as an equal so long as you remain worthy of such. Please do not push the issue - just accept this and move on.

I don't give out my phone number, Skype, or any other personal contact information to people I haven't gotten to know. Please don't ask.

I'm into music more than anything else, whether it's making it, listening to it, thinking about it or talking about it. Music is the one thing in the world that, without which, I think I would just shrivel up and cease to exist. I listen to about anything, but my passion is metal! Melodic death, black metal, power metal, Viking metal, thrash, speed, operatic/symphonic/epic metal...All things metal!

I tend to be a bit of an introvert.
This isn't to say that I don't like people.. On the contrary, I love people, as long as it's in moderation. I can be very social and a total "people person" for a reasonable period of time, but then I need to go isolate in my cave for a while and get my solitude fix. A lot of people don't like that about me and feel I'm antisocial. Those who are worth my time will accept that it is part of what makes me me.
I am very open minded and respectful of almost any/all beliefs, but do not tolerate hate or bigotry in any form at all in my presence (Note that I do not hold ANYTHING too sacred to joke about.. I am talking about attitudes of actual intolerance).
Pretty much the only parts of any belief systems I have a problem with are the idea that everyone else is wrong and anything that harms others.
As for my own beliefs, they are many and varied.

There are many things I identify as. These include, but are not limited to: Metalhead, Gorean, biker, hippie, warrior, spiritual, geek, poly, kinky, pansexual.
Labels are a convenience. They do not define me.

Consent, honesty, mindfulness and integrity are words to live by in my world.

I am not single. I am in more than one relationship with partners I love, and will not throw those away to become anyone's "one". This point is not negotiable.

I am NOT looking for relationships, hookups, FWB, sex, or romance with men. 

I will not cohabit with or relocate for anyone. Period. This is not negotiable.

I am actively looking for:

I am open to

  • Meeting people with whom I connect spiritually, emotionally, mentally and philosophically and exploring conversation, gaming, friendship, and non sexual fun.

  • New, female partners for play, dating, and potentially more.

 I am provisionally open to:

  • Bottoming for real life (not cyber/role play) BDSM play, with or without a D/s and/or service element. (Please note that "BDSM play" ≠ "kinky sex". If you are looking to get your dick wet, please move along. I'm not the droid you're looking for!)

  • A service and protocol oriented (as opposed to sexually oriented) D/s dynamic with a strong focus on motivating me to maintain good habits, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, in addition to service aspects. Clearly defined rules, expectations, routines, discipline, and communication are essential. Local preferred, though long distance is doable. I will NOT be relocating.

Any unsolicited nastygrams, copypasta, idiocy or otherwise unrequired and unrequited nonsense that finds its way to my PM can and likely will be shared with all and sundry and mocked with liberal abandon thereof. Sending me such unsolicited nonsense is considered consent to such action. Be completely and thoroughly aware that your ineptitude could be spread across the internet and become fodder for the amusement of others before you deign to waste your time and mine with idiocy. My PM is not a free for all for moronic stupidity.

!setdesc not a "Domme" or a "sub". Strong willed free woman who knows her place in the order of nature. Metalhead; coffee snob (& addict); cigar afficionada; voluptuous redhead (fair warning!); geek; snarky; barracks lawyer; trouble maker; knows how to behave properly when appropriate.

Journal Entries:
3/4/2018 12:27:12 PM
I am no longer submitted to or serving a dom, so all prior rules and restrictions are null and void. It might be a good idea to fact check before taking me to task for anything you feel I am doing "wrong".

Any routines, schedules, protocols, and such to which I still adhere are at my own discretion.

Yes, I still know my place and do not plan on throwing away all the good habits I have established, just because they are no longer enforced, however *I* get to decide which habits are serving me well and which ones are not, and which ones I simply dislike enough to chuck when I don't have to please someone else.

12/31/2016 7:45:12 AM
Ooook look! A failed "negging" attempt!
The offender's username has been changed, of course, to comply with TOU. His username indicates that he's a "tiger", so I decided to stick with something (kind of) close. :D

on 1/3/17 at 2:07 AM:

I tried to get through your profile, but in all honesty the overwhelming negativity of it was a bit of a turn off for me. I am 100% confidant you're not interested in any friendly advice from me, but I'm going to give it anyway: Rewrite your profile and instead of making it 99% about what you don't like, what you won't do, etc., etc., and instead show us the best of yourself and your personality. I find you physically/sexually attractive, and I can tell you're intelligent, but the profile SCREAMS "I'm not a happy person and you won't be either if you pick me." As a musician, my best tool/attribute is my ear, and I'm hearing a LOT of frustration, anger, and unhappiness in your 10,000 word "manifesto." (chuckle) Whether you're looking for a Dom, a sex partner, or even just a friend - people are attracted by the darkness, but they stick around for the light. I hope 2017 is great for you - you deserve it. (hugs you warmly and then strolls back into the green tiger* jungle)

         *(not his user name)

KhaosWolfKat on 1/3/17 at 6:21 PM:

Well hello there, and thanks for giving me what you were 100% confident I wouldn't be interested in! I could say something snarky about potential consent issues, however, I figured I'd keep this all friendly like.
Funny thing is, my profiles USED to be mostly about what I do want. That was before being inundated with literally hundreds of messages from asshats who inspired the very rules/warnings you see today.
I definitely have noticed some decline in messages from men since changing my approach, and I get a FAR more positive response from other women with my current profile, which is handy, since, as my profile clearly states, I am only seeking women!
I'm not putting myself out there in hopes that someone will "pick me". I have the profile there to weed out those who aren't worth my time at all, and to provide information upfront to anyone who wants to read that far.
I think you need to get your virtual ear calibrated, cause I'm a pretty happy person! I was happy as a single person, I'm happy as a poly partnered person and I'll be happy whether or not this profile lands me the perfect slave girl. I don't have time to waste on anger, resentment, or the like. There's far too much awesome in the world to exeprience.
2017 has only just started, so there's lots of room for all the greatness I expect.
~ Khaos

LoserLiger on 1/4/17 at 6:24 AM:

You're all I thought you'd be and even less. (lol) Keep believing that, but no one balloons up to 300 lbs. and writes all that negative bullshit and then is cool to hang out with - it's why you can't connect one-on-one in a fulfilling relationship and are regulated to poly - you're just a side peace. Enjoy being passed around, passed by, and passed over - you'll never be the alpha you're pretending to be. (chuckle) I gave it a shot, but honesty doesn't seem to penetrate your arrogant, fat layer of (zzzzzzzzz) uh... "khaos." (snicker)

I tried to reply and discovered.....

"User has blocked you, mail not sent"

What a shocker!!
Y'all get to read it anyway, cause I didn't want my snarky wit (mileage may vary) to go to waste! :D LOL.

My reply:

Awww.. That's so precious, sweetie! You've been watching those PUA videos that promised you their tactics work, haven't you?
I'm so sorry they lied to you.
The "subtle" negging didn't work, soooo.. cue the butthurt insults.
We went from, "I find you physically/sexually attractive", to fat, arrogant, passed over, etc. What a surprise!
I called that one.
To be fair, calling it isn't worth much when y'all are so predictable. Better luck next time, sparky.
~ Khaos

8/15/2016 5:02:45 PM
Yes, I changed my label to "submissive". That does not mean that I am a *slave* again or that it is suddenly open season. I am free, and, therefore, have the right to decide who earns my respect, obedience, time, or effort.

I am still, technically, a switch. I changed it because I am primarily submissive to the men in my life, and REALLY tired of all the do me sub males on here trying to get me to dominate them. I'm not interested! I have a wonderful male slave. He serves well. I do not want any other male subs or slaves. I will gladly consider female slaves or submissives for play or more.

I will be deferential and respectful to dominant men as long as they do not give me reason to be otherwise. I will be generally respectful to dominant free women (same caveats apply), however, I am unlikely to submit to you. Please just accept that and don't push the issue.

11/7/2011 9:58:10 AM

Bloody hell!

What is it with so many blank profiles?

Here's a tip, people...

The purpose of creating a profile on a place like this is to give potential (whatever you are looking for) a good idea of who you are, what you are like, what makes you tick, and what you are looking for in more specific terms than "looking 2 serve a fem dominate", or "male slave up 4 anytyhing u like".

I understand that many people have valid reasons for not including a photo, but there is no good reason for not filling out your profile. It's just lazy!

Try actually including some useful information about yourself beyond physical description or genital size; Things like your interests (not just kinky ones), things you like to do for entertainment, what experience you have in terms of service (or whatever your allege to be looking to provide), what characteristics you are looking for in a partner/dom/owner/slave/sub/whatever, and the like.


Try to paint a picture of who you are.


I, for one, am not interested in playing with or forming a relationship with a list of measurements and kinks. I'm looking for a fully developed person!

I'm certain I am  not alone in this.


I'm not saying everyone ought to go crazy with the profile info like some (ahem - cough coughguiltycough), but at least make a decent effort!

4/24/2010 4:06:50 PM

Playtime, Fun & Service - More of what to expect in my collar.

This a list of many of the things I enjoy and will commonly expect from you/will do to you.

As you have, no doubt, figured out, if you have read my, "Seeking a slave", post and the "Slave Rules" post, I am, in many ways, very strict, and expect full obedience and service from my slaves.
That does not mean we won't have fun!

As with the rules list, this is in no particular order, for the most part. I am adding things as I think of them.

Let's just get this out of the way right now...
I am a sadist with a very twisted sense of humour! (I have references) That said, I will ALWAYS take great care to avoid doing any actual harm to my slaves or subs.

I will take great delight in confusing, confounding, teasing, titillating, frightening, infuriating, frustrating, and otherwise fucking with you for my amusement.

I love to make a grown man or woman cry.
It will please and amuse me to make you hate me even while you betray yourself by begging for more, thanking me when it is over, and being eager for the next time.

That said, I WILL NOT leave any doubt as to whether I am genuinely displeased with you. Ever. Period! If you are being truly punished, I will tell you. You will also always know why you are being punished. I may not tell you immediately, and will often make you work to figure it out, because I feel that is more likely to make a lesson stick, but I will make damn sure that it is clear by the end of the day, at the latest. As a former slave, I have been in the position of knowing I was displeasing, and knowing I was being punished, but not understanding what I did/was doing wrong. It is a horrible feeling and serves no purpose, and I will not subject any slave of mine to that!

Now that we have that out of the way, on to more fun (and some mundane) stuff!

Being my slave will not all be fun and games, nor will it always be high protocol. Sometimes I may just want to converse with you. Though we will not converse as equals, I don't want to be stiff and formal all the time either. I like a slave who has his or her own opinions, can hold up their end of a debate, and show me their fiery spirit, all whilst maintaining their proper place as a slave. Show me you can do that, and I will be pleased!

On any given day that you are with me, you may be expected to clean house, move furniture, work on fixit projects, cook and/or serve me meals, perform for my amusement, massage me, or any number of other things.

When dining, I might seat you beside or across from me and expect you to behave as a conventional dining companion, or I may just keep you at my feet and make you beg or do tricks for scraps, which I will feed you by hand, or toss to you. Maybe you will even eat from a pan on the floor, forbidden to use your hands. As with all things, it will be according to my whim.

I am a rather avid cigar smoker. When I am enjoying a cigar, you will attend me as I desire. That may mean bringing what I require, and then making yourself scarce, unless summoned, or it may mean serving as my ashtray, footstool, and toy, massaging or otherwise servicing my feet, sexually pleasuring me; Or anything in between. You will, at times, be expected to accompany me to cigar meetups, where you will conduct yourself with proper decorum in a manner which will make me proud, and incite envy among my peers, but will not non-consensually involve others in our D/s dynamic.

In fact, that will be true of many situations when you are accompanying me out and about, in non kink situations.

I enjoy things like playing fetch with a slave, or putting slaves in competitive games with one another for the amusement of those watching.
A few things that come to mind:

  • Wrestling.. Oil and/or nudity possible.
  • Races, with or without paddles, whips, etc as "encouragement"... sack races, 3 legged races, kinky relay races.. All those "kid games", but all grown up!
  • Contests of will.. such as seeing which slave can delay orgasm the longest, while other slaves or free do their best to make you lose control.
  • Slave rodeo games.

I'm sure I can think of LOTS more!

I have 20+ years of experience in various BDSM activities, and enjoy a WIDE range of things, both from the top and bottom perspective. That means that I am just as likely to be on a rack being worked over by someone at an event as I am to be working YOU over. In fact, There may well be times that I put a nice, thuddy flogger, or other delicious implements in your hands and direct you to have a go at me until I tire of it. (or until you are genuinely unable to continue without risk to my property). Make no mistake, however... This in NO way alters our dynamic. I am in charge. Again.. my slave exists to please me, regardless of what it is that may be pleasing to me at any given moment in time.

I do take pleasure in doing things that I know will make my slave happy, so I will definitely make a point of incorporating play that I know you will enjoy. Sometimes I like to surprise a slave with something completely unexpected.
Well.. Okay.. I USUALLY like to do that, but once in a while, the surprise will be specifically calculated to delight the slave.

This posting is a work in progress, and will be added to from time to time as I think of things to add to it.

Questions and comments, especially ones that might help me make this post more comprehensive are more than welcome!

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