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M/W/Cross-dresser with unfulfilled bondage fantasies who would love to regularly service an insatiable male who would like his own personal cocksucker and would take the time to teach me just how he wants to be sucked, hopefully teaching me how to deep throat. I swallow.
I have strong fantasies of being restrictively bound and used as a fuck toy by the right man. I might be open to accepting your sharing your fuck toy.
As of late, I have been learning about Enforced Chastity and enjoying it immensely. I can't explain it but the idea of someone keeping me locked in a chastity device and keeping me unable to touch myself at all, is keeping me aroused.
I'm considering a situation of permanent orgasm denial.
The fine print is that I can only play on weekends due to my wife who does know about my dressing and playing with men. She does NOT play nor is interested.
I am open to any questions or conversations.
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Well, today makes 164 days locked, kept from erection or orgasm by Ms. K/H, who keeps me in complete suspense as to when, or IF?, I'll even be released for an erection, much less an orgasm. If I get a chance at an orgasm, will she do it? I don't know. I'm wondering if she's actually taken my telling her about my fantasy of permanent chastity/being locked from here on out has taken permanent seed and I just haven't been informed yet, and she simply hasn't decided to tell me to bring the super-glue and her squirt it into the lock.
Will my release be my Christmas present, or her New Year's resolution is to see how I respond to being told that I'm not going to be allowed out or to cum and she's rewarding me me with a chance to ask her to allow me to cum NEXT January 1st and that she'll make her mind up then. Until then, don't piss her off, don't pester her and don't even bring up that I'm locked unless she does.
I love her, I do. If she so decides, the cage stays locked and I'm not allowed orgasm, or even erection for the rest of my life, it's her decision and I'm ready to honor it.
As an old TV western phrase went, "No brag, just fact."
I know there would be some question if I'm exaggerating about my chastity blogging on here, but it is entirely true. I have been locked as long as I write and Ms. K/H decides.
Jamie |
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Today makes 110 days locked and kept both orgasm and erection free. I would have never believed I could go this long.
Since my last entry, my new, smaller, device arrived and I've been locked in it for the past two or so weeks. Same maker, just shorter and the base ring smaller. Absolutely comfortable and only know it's there on the occasional erection attempt and during a shower.
It's mind boggling to consider that I'm just 10 days away from 4 months of complete chastity. I've attended a C/D bondage party with my online Domme this past few months while locked.
About 10 days or so before my birthday, Ms. K/H wanted me out and offered me an orgasm. I may have made a mistake by asking her if I could remain locked until my birthday. My birthday came and went without release of either kind. It both scared and intrigued me. Did she forget? Or did she just decide if I didn't want it I didn't need it and decided to wait till I ask. She knows I won't ask out of fear of her giving me back the key permanently.
I don't want her to stop holding my key, orgasms or erections subject to her whims. There's no question that she knows I'm locked. I have to change out of my drabs and back into my real clothes on occasion with her watching. (My real clothes are my femme's. I get really cranky when Jamie can't be herself.)
She knows but acts as if it's nothing out of the ordinary and, in hindsight, I suppose now that it's not. I've been locked this long and it feels surprising normal.
Two months or so ago, she unlocked me for a family get together. I was only free for a bit over 12 hours and pleaded on the way home to let me put my device back on. She chuckled a bit under her breath thinking I didn't hear. Her response was, "I'll think about it."
Since the stainless steel devices, I've been locked 24/7 with a few minutes out on two occasions due to one of the 'boys' managing an escape from the base ring. Other than that, 24/7.
Since I've made it this close to 4 months, I would dearly love for her to decide to keep me locked to make it an even 6 months. Even more so would love for her to make my release date my NEXT birthday.
Jamie |
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Well, today has two things to think about. Today makes 80 days locked, kept from either erection or orgasm.
Today also makes 5 days locked into my new stainless steel device.
It's smaller in almost every dimension than my previous device, the CB-6000s.
Contrary to 'conventional wisdom', I've found it to be far more comfortable than the previous device/devices. It's also been far easier to keep it and myself clean, which has been difficult since I work in a non A/C'ed building all day.
The new device is far easier to clean and Ms. K/H likes it very much since she says it looks more like a bondage device than the 6000s.
I'm expecting a possible release on or near my birthday, but it's all up to Ms K/H, and I'm serious about letting her control any release from this or the device I've ordered which is even shorter than this one.
What I'm working and hoping for is to find the shortest, most restrictive cage/device that I can tolerate in long-term situations which I consider months at a time now.
Once I find that device, I'm hoping to persuade Ms K/H to seriously consider making my chastity permanent and keep me, if not free from erections, from ever having/enjoying an orgasm for the rest of my life.
One side wants her to 'force' me to rivet the steel device on, while asking me if I remember my last orgasm, then respond, "That WAS your last orgasm."
Jamie |
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Normally I wouldn't have made another entry tonight, but my new chastity device arrived today. It's a stainless steel device supposedly, and, so far, feels far better than the CB-6000s device that I was just locked into for the past 74 days.
Crucial concepts; the CB-6000s cage is supposed to be 2 1/2 inches long. By another chastity manufacturer's method of measurement, it would be closer to 2 inches.
My new cage is about 1 3/4 inch long and the inside diameter is just under 1 1/8th inch. Far smaller in all dimensions including the base ring which is a bit smaller than I've worn before.
I'm hoping that I adapt to this new device as easily as I did going from the CB-6000 to the CB-6000s cage.
I don't know that this will be the device I spend the rest of my life in, but it gives me great boost in confidence that I might be able to find one.
Jamie |
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Today is day 74 of my enforced chastity. More my idea than my K/H. I was threatened recently with her wanting to watch me masturbate. I pleaded to be kept orgasm free for a little while longer. I have a fantasy of being fucked after 90 days of chastity. My B/F grinned and seems willing to use me in that manner. I counted up the timing and the Saturday, August 6th will be 90 days exactly. I originally made my date with him for the weekend either before or of my birthday, but I'll accept whatever I can get from him on or about that time.
I've been reading that extended periods of chastity or lack of ejaculation leaves one open to oozing or spontaneous expulsion of seminal fluid due to anal stimulation, particularly if the prostate gland is stimulated. My B/F told me early on that some of my discomfort of his fucking me was his hitting my prostate. Now, I'm hoping so and that he's right that, once he starts working for his pleasure, that he'll probe/massage my prostate to cause me to release my seminal fluid without orgasm and keep me frustrated without orgasm.
I've read several posts on several websites about 'ruined' orgasms, prostate massages that allow seminal fluid to ooze without orgasm.
I've posted previously that I've got a perverse attraction toward having Ms. K/H keeping me from ever having any sort of pleasurable orgasm for the rest of my life.
I pitched a couple of ideas for Ms. K/H to use to tease me without allowing me orgasm. She smiled and took them into consideration. One would be to have me released, have me slowly stroke myself to erection then handcuff my hands behind me and she would have the option to tease me as she pleases or simply ignore me before having me lock back up.
The other would be to have me unlock the device while she has her phone set on stopwatch with whatever period she decides /30 seconds was my suggestion/ and tell me once the cage is off, I have until she tells me to stop to masturbate to orgasm. Once she tells me to stop, I have to lock the device back on regardless.
I suggested she do this at random intervals of a minimum of a month and up to 6 months. Her choice.
Jamie |
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I've made what I hope to be a solid date with my B/F. He knows about my being locked continuously in chastity and about how long. I told him that I had a fantasy of his fucking me on or about my birthday which would be my 100+ day of enforced chastity He smiled and told me that I would leak. I should have told him that I'm looking forward to it.
I've also ordered another chastity device, abet from China. If it matches what I think I've ordered, then it should be interesting as it's cage is smaller in I/D and only about 1 3/4" in length. My present cage as measured is just a bit longer.
Back to the original thought. It would be interesting to have my B/F fucking me and suddenly realize that I was oozing cum instead of going full orgasm.
Jamie |
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This morning marks day 56 locked and prevented from erection/orgasm. I've faced a couple of times where I really wanted an orgasm and once actually told Ms. K/H I wanted to orgasm. I found myself telling her immediately afterwards I wanted her to tell me NO even worse.
I got my wish. Her answer was 'NO'.
If Ms. K/H keeps to what I think she agreed, then I should be released temporarily the day before my birthday. I'm hoping she'll simply smile and tell me happy birthday, and that my present is her keeping me erection/orgasm free till December 31/January 1st, then tell me that she wants to see if I can go a whole year chaste.
Jamie |
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This entry is due to the first serious rebellion by my tiny little clit since I switched to the 2 1/2 inch cage.
I started my journey into enforced chastity with a CB-6000 device. The larger device has a 3 1/4 inch cage. Fifteen days ago I switched to the S cage for the device which is 2 1/2 inches long and this morning is the only real incident that is making me regret it.
Today is my 35th day locked and, strangely enough, I'm hoping Ms. K/H does keep me locked for the remaining 67 days.
Beyond that, I've been noting that on too many occasions, I've been seeing too much space inside the smaller cage. For reasons I can't fathom, I'm working toward, eventually, caging this tiny little clit into a stainless steel device with a 1 3/4 inch cage. When it was in the 3 1/4 I had more painful nocturnal erections since it had more room to attempt erection. Strangely enough I've had much less discomfort since going to this smaller cage. I've be considering going to a still smaller device but am in a twitter as to what or which. Since I've don't completely fill the 2 1/2 cage I've been considering a still smaller device. I'm torn between going with a Holy Trainer Small with a 48mm/1.9 inch cage or going all out and simply ordering a stainless steel device with a 2 inch or 1 3/4 cage.
What I want is eventually to progress to being permanently kept from ever achieving an erection or orgasm. I want to please Ms. K/H so that she'll eventually decide that my little appendage is so useless that she will order me to put the stainless steel device on and get my rivet tool out to fasten it on for the last time.
Jamie |
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It's a good thing that no one has to depend on my math skills. I think I mentioned that I was due a 70 day locked period leading to the day before my birthday. I recounted a couple of days ago and realized that I miscounted. It seems that the real count is 102 days, so tomorrow will make what I originally expected.
Quite a shock that I unexpectedly ended up with a 32 day extension to my expected chastity sentence. I don't know if Ms. K/H is or was aware of my counting mistake or not. If she isn't, then she'll chuckle and smile. If she was, she kept it from me while laughing to herself.
Either way, if she keeps to her plan, I will have been kept from any sort of sexual relief other than oral or anal for nearly 3 times longer than my record so far.
The interesting and scary thought of the whole matter is that I'm hoping/expecting Ms. K/H to reward me at my birthday with an hour or so unlocked before ordering me back into the device, locking it herself and squirting superglue into the key slot of the lock and telling me that she's going to give me a new lock for a present on January 1st, so just live with it.
I could be wrong again, but I think, if I counted correctly that time, that from my birthday till January 1st, should be 127 days.
Ohhh, crap. I'm not all that sure she's actually going to let me have an orgasm even for my birthday.
Jamie
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Well, I'm totally amazed at how easily I've adapted to the S cage of the CB-6000. Locked it on Friday Evening. No problems so far. Comfortable enough all through the holiday weekend and I handed the key back to Ms. K/H yesterday evening. Wore it to work and no problems at all.
Now, the evil thought is that I silently told myself that if I saw as little as a 1/4 inch free space at the end of this 2 1/2 inch tube/cage, that I was going to very seriously consider ordering the Mature Metal Jailbird device with a 1 3/4 inch cage. Their sizing guide says to measure when comfortable then subtract 1/4 inch. Therefore, if I'm regularly seeing 1/4 inch space at the end of the 2 1/2 inch tube I'm locked in right now, that means, according to them, that I should order the 2 inch cage. I could accept that since my goal is to be long-term locked and kept orgasm/erection free and my tiny clit at 2 inches or less.
However, after reading a long-term chastity fetishist who changed from one device to the Jailbird suggested due to his observations, after re-measuring as suggested, he realized that he felt better at 1/2 inch smaller. That would fall exactly into what I'm craving. I truly want my sissy clit to be kept in long term captivity in a stainless steel cage and, very specifically, kept in a cage that will prevent me from ever having any orgasms or erections for the rest of my life and that this cage make sure that my sissy clit is forever less than 2 inches long.
I can't explain or justify to anyone else my desire that, as time progresses, it would delight me to find that I have to obtain smaller cages until my clit is permanently caged in a 1 1/4 inch cage that is riveted in place.
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I already know I'm a cum slut. I've been one from the very first time I took a cock into my mouth. I just ran across a caption below a picture of a male locked into a chastity device that struck home.
I now know at least one reason I suddenly crave more cock and cum. Since I'm locked away from what has long been my favorite toy, I don't really have anything to do with my hands. I'm wanting sexual attention far worse than I've ever wanted it since I can't masturbate. Ms. K/H knows how to keep me online. She withholds sexual attention altogether until SHE wants. I have to wait or hope for male attention which, for some reason, is rare.
This understanding came specifically after I was locked into the smaller cage of my chastity device without being allowed to cum. This time I've only been locked for 20 days, but I'm far more horny this time than last. I want to cum. I want an orgasm. I would hate to be fed viagra at this point for two reasons. One, my tiny little clit is encased in this 2 1/2 x 1 3/8 plastic tube. The other is that I would hate to have an erection that I wouldn't be allowed to use.
I've been forbidden to engage in sexual activity with other women, so that limits me to sexual activity with men which she permits.
Thankfully, I love sucking cock and swallowing cum, which I don't get nearly enough of.
I have a great many fantasies which are backing up on me.
I 've always fantasized about licking cum out of a freshly fucked pussy but have been told I'm not allowed.
I want a cock in my mouth or ass so bad right now.
Jamie |
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Welp, 24 hours in the new cage. No problems at all so far. I did notice that at a couple moments that there is space at the end of this 2 1/2 inch tube. If Ms. K/H notices that, we're very seriously headed for the stainless steel cage at 2 inch length. That intrigues, arouses and scares me all at the same time. Once the cage is stainless steel and quite permanent, I'm expecting a rivet.
Scared and wanting it.
Jamie
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Well, I'm 2 hours into my tiny clit's new home and I'm loving it. It feels so right at the moment, but tonight will tell. The new cage is 3/4 inch shorter and I expect the rebellious little clit to give me problems tonight, but I intend to remain locked into the newer cage for the entire weekend, then, hopefully return the key to Ms. K/H for the rest of my chastity period.
I'm 19 days as of today and hoping that she'll conveniently continue to forget that I'm locked until she glances at the calendar and ask me, "When did we lock you in last time?" When I answer, she'll tell me, "Hmmm, That's not long enough."
Jamie
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Today is day 18 for this chastity period. I'm going day by day and hoping to be kept locked for at least two month, preferably more.
Upon routine inspection, it was noticed that there was between 1/4 and 1/2 inch of space at the end of the chastity device's cage. It was determined at that point that this much space was too much so a shorter cage was ordered Tuesday night. The cage on my present device is supposed to be 3 1/4 inches long. The new one is supposed to be here tomorrow and is supposed to be 2 1/2 inches inside. I foresee a few uncomfortable nights for me starting this weekend.
Still, for reasons I don't even understand myself, I find myself hoping that the continued confinement eventually cause a shrinkage of my little clit. I'm actually looking forward to the same situation of being told that there's too much space at the end of the 2 1/2 inch tube and being told that she's ordered the stainless steel device with a 2 inch, or better yet, the 1 3/4 inch cage.
After making sure that I can wear it comfortably and keeping me locked into it for a couple months, I want to hear Ms. K/H ask me if I remember my last orgasm. After telling her that I do indeed remember it, I want to hear her telling me, "That's good because it's indeed your last orgasm OR erection," then ordering me to bring out the rivet tool. After setting the stainless steel rivet at her order she explains to me that from that moment on, that I'm allowed absolutely NO erections OR orgasms. I've had my last erection or orgasm for the rest of my life. Then she explains that since she's not had any pleasure from my little clit, that she feels that I shouldn't have any either.
Jamie
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I approached Ms K/H over the idea of permanent chastity and she's a bit reluctant. She feels that I need to occasionally be reminded of what she's keeping from me. I assured her that I'm always aware of what I'm unable to obtain due to the constant presence of the device. She smiled. I'm not sure just what she has in mind but I expect to be kept in a device from now on which I love the concept. However, being me, I would almost rather be kept from orgasm completely than forced to it by her ordering me to masturbate for her. I can't understand myself why I would love to secretly celebrate a year in complete lockup and orgasm denial. Then she refuse to release me and tell me that I made it a complete year without an orgasm or erection, so let's see if we can make that three years now.
Jamie |
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Glory be! My cum famine ended today. A gentleman that I met through a C/L ad messaged me wanting a B/J and we met today.
My first load of cum for longer than I like.
I'm hoping but not counting on my long time B/F dropping by tomorrow. I think we've come to an end and he simply won't tell me outright.
Oh well, I hope all is well in your world and here's to more cocks to suck to the swallow for me.
Jamie |
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Well, I made it to 43 days before Ms. K/H insisted that she release me so I could attend to hygiene and cleaning of the device. After the shower and cleaning, she ordered me into the living room where I expected her to order me back into the device.
Instead, she ordered me to masturbate while she watched. I was beside myself. She had never watched me to that before, nor ever had any interest in it. It also somewhat disappointed me that it would be interrupting my length of chastity and I would have to start all over again.
As of this entry, I've been locked back in for 4 days and hope she intends to keep me locked and orgasm free for at least 2 months or, hopefully, more.
Jamie |
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I'm thinking I may have just made a mistake. I mentioned to Ms. K/H a few minutes ago that tonight made 40 days. Her response?
"And?"
Jamie
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Today was a pretty dry day as far as sex goes. No male attention at all.
And Ms. K/H teased me earlier by asking if I had noticed that she was wearing the key to my chastity device on her necklace.
As of 7 pm today it will be 38 days kept orgasm denied. I continue to 'dress' when at home which I love. Yes, I want to experience an orgasm even more now that I'm not allowed one unless Ms. K/H decides I'm worthy of it. The problem is that she hasn't made any demands or suggestions as to what I have to do to deserve one. Am I locked up and forgotten? I don't think so, but locked up and abused by being locked long-term without my K/H having ANY real reason to release me or allow me to gain any sort of sexual relief.
Such sweet torture.
Jamie |
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Well, today makes my 34th day locked. My expected release date came and went. Ms. K/H let it slip by as if it meant nothing. I'm not surprised that she did. I simply don't know what she has in mind.
She threatened me with total release for 48 hours. I almost panicked. After all this time locked, freedom?
I've already begun accepting the idea of complete orgasm denial and, perhaps, complete or permanent chastity then she springs the idea of giving me complete freedom to backslide. Her idea is to make me want to orgasm before she locks me up for whatever period of time she decides. That part I like.
Her idea is to have me fearing being locked back in because I now want to go back to being able to orgasm as I please. That's what I very specifically do NOT want.
I want her to, on occasion, when allowed out for cleaning, both me and the device, to order me to masturbate to the edge while under strict orders to NOT CUM. Once there, tell me to stand there until she feels the urge to watch me to it again, but continuously refusing to let me cum before she finally, after boredom sets in, orders me back into the chastity device, unfulfilled or relieved.
That would cause the sexual tension I do believe she really wants. If I read her face correctly, I think that's what she's decided she wants.
Jamie |
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I know that I made an entry earlier this evening about my chastity situation, but I'm presently so horny that I have to comment again.
My greatest wish is that I had the gift of a Dominant male who would bind me as restrictively as his imagination allowed, then quietly ponder if I'm worth his time to be used as his cum receptacle. If he so decides, he would take his time to decide if he would rather reward me with his precious cum by allowing me to orally serve him or keep me bound, pull down my panties and take his time using my sissy cunt for his pleasure and rewarding me by cumming inside me at his choice.
My Key-Holder is presently interested in keeping me locked and chaste, so I'm finding myself drawn more toward focusing on using my sissy cunt or ready mouth to please a dominant male who knows how to use me as I should be used.
Sissy Slut or Cocksucker would be supreme complements from the Alpha male who allows me to serve as his submissive cumdump.
Jamie |
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It's as if my Key-Holder knew how releasing me from my chastity device for 12 hours then ordering me back in would make me respond. I've been locked and kept orgasm free since March 24th.
We had business out of town for the afternoon and she suggested that she unlock me for the trip. I reluctantly agreed. First time in now, 30 days, that my tiny little clit has felt panties that bare.
Now that the device has been cleaned and I'm re-locked, I'm hornier than ever. She even told me that her reason for talking to me during my shower before we left was to make sure I didn't play with my little clit.
Ever the semi-willing masochist, I'm researching the idea of 'Ruined Orgasms' so that I can hopefully tease my Key-Holder into playing into it and perhaps ruin one or several for me in the future.
During the research, my tiny clit tested the CB-6000 severely. That's the most activity my clit has offered in nearly 3 weeks of enforced chastity.
And, between she and I we agreed a weekly release and clean period under her supervision. She knows I can't be trusted.
;p
Jamie |
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I'm so horny right now that I actually tried to use a dildo to stroke myself to an anal orgasm or prostate massage. It didn't work but I did feel what I had read about leading up to what it was supposed to feel like. I'm craving, for whatever reason, complete orgasm denial at the moment so that I'll want one desperately.
The dildo brought me to the edge but not over it. I did feel what I had read about and wish I had managed it. It will happen when it needs to. IF it needs to.
I know that my Keyholder isn't interested in my orgasms at all, much less interested in me having any at all. Evil thoughts has her refusing me any orgasms from this point on other than ruined orgasms, or, her learning how to do a prostate massage if it actually forces semenal fluid out without providing ANY sort of pleasure on my part.
I would love to find myself releasing my cum and not enjoy it at all.
For whatever reason, I'm gaining a strangely erotic urge toward being subjected to permanent chastity. That would require my being locked into a steel device, which I am researching, then either rivet or weld it locked. Then I would have to resort to just my mouth or pussy for sexual relief.
Let's see if fantasy becomes reality.
Jamie
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Well, well, I'm tolerating enforced chastity far better than I expected to. As of 7pm tonight I will have been locked away from my little clit for 29 days. Yes, I have felt strong horny urges but my Keyholder isn't in the mood to deal with my little urges. Just because I would love to cum, doesn't give me the right to. She's in charge of my orgasms now and if she decides I don't need one, I don't get one.
One other thing is that I'm comparing other chastity devices that are more secure and smaller. My possible next device is the Holy Trainer V2. There are downsides to going with it but there are upsides as well. One of the upsides is that it uses a self locking device instead of a separate lock that clicks on the plastic. The possible downsides are that the base rings, confinement ring only comes in four sizes and two of them bridge the size of my CB-6000's base ring so I would have to order the smaller one. At least that would make it even less likely I could escape it.
Another possible downside, although more enticing is that the confinement tube is almost an inch shorter and I'm already having problems when my clit attempts to grow. That actually is making me want it more since it's the LARGE one.
I can't wait till I get the funds to order it anyway.
I'm getting more and more thrilled about long term enforced chastity and have absolutely NO idea why other than I think it might force me to focus on pleasing both my KeyHolder and B/F/
Jamie
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Well, it turns out at with a bit of key holder help, I've beaten my previous record of enforced chastity. As of 7 PM, I will have been locked continuously in the CB-6000 for two weeks.
So, no erections, no orgasms at all and looks like two more weeks plus a day or so still locked in. My key holder seems to ignore my situation, as she should, and has kept me locked.
At last conversation, the proposed temporary release date is possibly the 24th.
However, if she forgets or decides I still need more time in the device, it's completely up to her. I handed over the keys knowingly.
Jamie |
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Welp, work was crappy, but I do have much better things to mention.
One, as of 7 PM, I've been locked into my chastity device for five days and think I can tolerate more.
Two, as of 6 PM, I changed the lock to my key holder's lock. I'm locked until she releases me. I've asked for at least keeping me locked until Monday morning. She can keep me locked if she wishes and I harbor secret wishes that once Monday comes she ignores it and waits me out to ask when she will release me.
Fantasy has her telling me that since I've endured nearly ten days, maybe a couple months would be a good trial run for me.
The third is that the Wife bought me a pair of black leggings that fit perfectly and really show off my legs. I love them. I've wanted a pair of completely black leggings for a while.
Jamie |
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Well, well, well. After a bit of time, I'm locked into what turned out to be a CB-6000 instead of a CB-6000s. I handed over both keys to my key holder and asked that this locked up period go until late Sunday evening. I locked myself in about 7pm est.
Now I have to endure. I asked, now live it.
Jamie |
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Interesting evening. I have a B/F who drops by generally once a week but due to weather concerns, he had to work today. I checked with the Wife and him both and ended up getting to let him drop by here far later than he's ever been by. I only got one load of cum to swallow but, let's face it, one load is better than none.
I'm presently locked into a chastity device leading up to an enforced period of time in it and still allowed, even encouraged to keep up my B/F happy.
Goodness, life couldn't be better at the moment.
Jamie |
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Well, success so far. I picked out a combination of base ring/spacer that is a bit tight on the lower part of my scrotum but reasonably comfortable so far. I've been self-locked since 9pm last night and have had two attempted/ruined erections. I expected far worse sensations but both were well within limits. The tube confinement hasn't been a problem at all thank goodness.
I'm looking forward to turning the two keys over to two key-holders. One, my now interested wife and either my Domme or her Maid slave toy, whom I've served as her key-holder for a while.
Once I'm fully physically comfortable in the CB-6000s, I've suggested a trial run to my primary key-holder, my Wife. One day in, release for a while, not necessarily for a full day, perhaps a cleaning and orgasm her choice, then back in for three days. From there the release situation remains the same, just the locked in period changes. After the three day period, it progresses to a week, then two weeks, one month, two months, then three months.
After the third month, my primary key-holder will have complete control. She will decide how long I'm to be confined and she has the complete option of telling me or not telling me how long I'm to be locked in. I've only suggested that, after the proposed test/break in period, that she please not keep me confined more than three months, but, then again, it will be completely her decision. A year or more locked away is quite frightening and erotic due to someone other than me having complete control over my orgasm and/or sexual relief.
Jamie |
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Well, my CB-6000s arrived yesterday and it seems to be the real thing, not a knockoff. The Wife, as promised, gave me the key to release myself so I could start trying to find the proper ring/spacer combination. Unfortunately, once I got the original device off, I discovered the reason for the pinching sensation. Apparently the cage on the old device or the way the confinement ring was made, pinched or rubbed a spot on my tiny organ that had actually scabbed over. So, my only involvement with the new device has been to attempt to find the base ring combination so far. I think I've already found it but intend to secure the base ring and see how the weekend goes while the damage on my dicklette heals. I was hoping to have been locked into the new device already and getting used to it, but, oh well, time will tell.
Yours, soon to be back in chastity,
Jamie. |
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Well, my key-holder/Wife did answer a politely asked question with a question. I very respectfully asked if I would be allowed out once the CB-6000s arrives and she asked me if the present device was causing me any pain. I truthfully answered that it would pinch every now and then but otherwise, no, no real pain. She smiled and replied, "Good." That gave me my answer. I'm still locked in and the new device still hasn't arrived. The tracking number tells me as of this afternoon that it arrive in San Diego about 5pm yesterday and apparently is still there, so I'm not getting too hopeful for it to arrive here tomorrow. I'm hoping for Friday or, at least, Saturday which would allow me all weekend to experiment with the ring/spacer combinations that allow maximum comfort AND security. I really want to minimize the possibilities of my being able to escape from her being able to keep me locked in.
Yours, still in chastity,
Jamie |
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I was allowed out of the chastity device that my C/D Domme locked me into on the schedule I had requested, this past Sunday about noon. I've ordered another device, the CB-6000s which I hope is the real thing and not a knock-off. I'm a bit disappointed that the estimated delivery time is next Monday, the 25th. I was/am hoping that it will arrive by Saturday at least so I can ask my new key-holder if she'll let me out to start trying the new one which I'm hoping to become a long-term locked situation. My wife has finally accepted the idea of keeping the key which in turn prevents me from gaining any sort of sexual relief. She doesn't really understand my interest in enforced chastity or, more accurately, Orgasm Denial, but seems more interested in keeping it as long as I don't whine or beg to the point of annoying her.
She just surprised me a bit by asking me if I was ready to be locked up again. I replied that I didn't know I had a choice. She grinned and answered sweetly, "You don't."
I'm locked into the Domme's device again and I'm not permitted to ask how long.
I don't even know if I'll be allowed out once the new device arrives. I hope so because I have high hopes that after I get the proper sized rings and spacers figured out that the CB-6000s will be more comfortable and that I'll be able to wear it for the extended periods I'm hoping. I've suggested a schedule to my Wife/Key-holder that would eventually extend upwards to three months of 24/7 completely confined and enforced chastity with complete orgasm denial, knowing that, even if I do ask, she would just smile and remind me that it was my idea and she intends to keep me to my promise.
Yours, presently locked into enforced chastity once more,
Jamie |
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Had a terror few minutes which should amuse my Domme. Once the time to release me from my cage/chastity device, I had given the wife to hold was the wrong one. It took us almost an hour to find the real one. All the time I was wondering about finding the proper tools to cut the lock off. Thank goodness I didn't have to.
The stranger thought is that I didn't then nor now, feel the urge to masturbate. Apparently I am now bound to my Domme in regards to my sexual relief whether locked in or not.
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Right now, I'm less than 18 hours from my release from this Chasity device. I've been locked into this cage since last Sunday about noon.
I was surprised when my Domme locked it on me, but more shocked when I left her place still locked in and started driving home still locked in. I was strongly aware of my being confined as mile after mile separated me from the only key to my sexual freedom.
Here it is, Saturday afternoon and I still have hours to go.
Originally, the Goddess intended that she and her slave maid be my keyholders.
The slave maid who has been in self enforced chastity for quite some time was concerned that I might hurt myself doing a week for a first time, so she insisted on sending her key to release myself. I relented and suggested that, if she could time the delivery for today, that I would appreciate it since there was no clear locked in period, I had a self-imposed week of enforced chastity. The key did arrive and is presently on a chain around the wife's neck and she is my new key holder.
That part scares me if I work it right. I've got another chastity device ordered and intend to give the keys to the wife and let Goddess decide who holds the other one.
I'm not sure about the realities of enforced chastity. I've loved the idea of being locked into chastity with my sexual relief in someone else's hands for years. Now it's about to be entirely real. |
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I've been thinking about the bondage/CD party I went to this past weekend and have had more time to process it all.
Quite a lot of my fantasies were fulfilled. Being comfortably dressed in front of a group of others like minded made for a very comfortable situation.
Now to the highlights I remember most clearly.
Discipline Helmet. I've had an overwhelming fantasy about them since I saw my first picture of one. The thought of having one's sight completely blocked, hearing stifled, and possibly gagged by a leather hood that could be not only tightened securely but actually locked in place to make sure that it can't be removed is still a huge turn-on. I wore one on two, maybe three occasions this past weekend. Once it was indeed locked on me and I knew about it with the Domme C/D Mistress that hosted the party made a point of letting me know as she locked the straps. I knew it wasn't coming off unless she unlocked it. I was beside myself and loved it. I was scared and happy at the same time.
I'll get to the best part of the helmet in a moment.
I also had the distinct pleasure of meeting a gentleman who has a weakness for C/D's and I was pleased to become the center of his attention for a little while.
Beyond that, once he and his friend left for the evening, it got somewhat quiet but we enjoyed ourselves as the immediate party wound down. I wasn't ordered to the dog cage, but neither was the other C/D slave that was serving Mistress. I found myself, suffering as I do from insomnia at times, in the living room, staring at the cage. Shortly afterwards I was in with the cage door click locked shut. Not padlocked so I could get out but still fell quickly asleep.
The next morning fulfilled yet another fetish of mine. I love the idea of latex. I've never really done anything about the fetish. Goddess possessed a full body latex bondage suit. It had never been used until Sunday. I was powdered up and worked into the suit. It was a bit too large/tall for me but still was tight where it was interesting. I was semi-dressed afterwards and found myself handcuffed yet again and, thrill of thrills, I was told that I was going to wear the Discipline Helmet again and this was the time it was locked on me. Soon afterwards, the Goddess got a call from an on-line Master who had specific ideas of what he wanted to see Goddess's two slaves do. I was lowered to my knees, hands cuffed behind me and Goddess's other slave was ordered to put her clitty as they both call it into the mouth hole/tube of the helmet and face fuck the helmeted slave (me!) Despite thinking she couldn't get hard she did.
All that was wonderful. The present thrill of my lifetime. After releasing me from the helmet and latex body suit, I was instructed to get dressed again. Once I had another dress on, I was ordered forward and the C/D slave was told to put the thumb cuffs on me behind my back. Then Goddess did something she has threatened me with for several months. She pulled my dress up and proceeded to lock a chrome steel chastity device on me. I had rather foolishly admitted my interest in someone enforcing chastity on me and Goddess had decided to use that against me.
As of right now, I've been locked in this device for about 33 hours. I left there with NO key and have no way to gain release without cutting the lock off or begging for one of my present key holders to send one to me. There was no mention of when I might be released or get a key. I'm weighing my options here now. |
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I just had the weekend to end all weekends for me.
I was invited to a bondage party hosted by a Domme friend and fulfilled quite a number of my fantasies.
I was bound in several positions and with various sorts of bondage toys.
I was even zipped into a full body latex cat suit that even covered my head. That was incredible!
I slept in the dog cage again. I was confined in a Discipline helmet on three separate occasions which I loved! She did me the favor of taking pictures of me for me.
What a weekend! There are too many concepts/events that occurred that it will probably take me a while to process before I can document them here. |
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I spent Saturday night in one of the strangest places I've ever been. I slept, locked and handcuffed inside a large dog cage. After supper and dressed properly, I was subjected, quite happily!, to various roped ties, blindfolded and gagged. At one point I was handcuffed inside and to the cage with my ankles chained and locked.
I was in ecstasy.
When it came time to go to bed I was offered a bunk, but chose to stay locked in the cage, handcuffed of course. It's been a long time since I've slept so peacefully.
I was released early the next morning but kept locking the handcuffs on myself till I think I teased enough and I was then recuffed with my hands behind me. I was released for breakfast after a bit more bondage play.
In all, it was a wonderfully enjoyable Saturday night and Sunday morning.
I never realized that I would find myself feeling the way I did throughout the entire meeting.
I only have two regrets. One, the chastity device was just a bit too large to keep me secured. If it had fit securely I was hoping I would be sent home in it but without the key. Two, and probably for the best, I was kind of hoping I would be sent home, handcuffed. I've got keys for handcuffs so it wouldn't have been a problem to get out of them once home, but there might have been a problem if I had a brakelight out and got stopped. HEheheheh.
It was a standing invitation I hadn't taken advantage of. I'm glad I finally submitted.
Jamie. |
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I have had a few continuous conversations with a couple of interesting guys which have been entertaining. Too bad one of them is in the UK. The other is about 300 miles away but I've had good conversations with both. Thank you both, Gentlemen.
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Slow weekend this past, and slow week so far. I haven't sucked or been fucked in over a week, going on nearly two weeks.
I've had a regular for a good while but he didn't make it and he's not a Dom, just a F/B.
I keep wondering just how I would react to having to suck in order to be released from bondage.
Well, hoping this weekend is better.
Jamie |
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Well, got stood up by my B/F. He couldn't get free apparently. SO I'm sitting here frustrated and not happy at all.
I'm developing a headache which is probably a migraine so it's probably just as well.
So much for this weekend. |
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Well, well, well. I'm sitting here all dressed up, made up and no one to even talk to, much less get busy with.
I got to meet my Boyfriend yesterday which helped but got stood up by the guy I was about to meet. I can't call it cheating on him since I am married but not to him. I was supposed to meet a C/D chaser yesterday but at the last minute he claimed his daughter showed up. I told him nevermind and met my B/F instead. The C/D chaser hit me this morning and seems to be hoping to meet next Saturday since that's the only day I have to meet.
Actually I was quite eager to meet him and hope things work out to where I end up with two B/F's. |
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| Age: 37 |
| Dallas,
Texas |
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