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GoddessCandy

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Friends:
womenwhoruletorturedboytoy

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LOOKING FOR BULLS
DO NOT ASK ME TO BE YOUR PLAY PARTNER




Needing to find Bull or Bulls...extremely well endowed a MUST. I prefer my fuck partners to be at least 8 1/2 inches but the BIGGER the better!!!

Would love to fuck as long and hard as you care to. Love trying new positions and definately enjoy a bull that likes to strut his stuff and wipe my slaves face in it. Can be as fun as you are creative!

BBW SADIST....Looking for the slave that desires to live the lifestyle 24/7! I believe that there is a way to incorporate this lifestyle into real life. To live the sort of life that was actually meant to be with a woman in charge. Not only in the bedroom but outside the house. This should not be blatent or severe but rather a gentle air that presides at any outing.

I would like to find someone honest, sincere and dedicated. Someone that has already decided this is the only way he can live. I can accept a novice but he MUST already be committed to the idea.

I will say that I have small children and that my husband has left me. One, a girl, I gave birth to Nov. 2005, and the other a 6 year old adorable boy. I plan to divorce my husband soon since he has no real desire to live the lifestyle, cannot be honest and obviously does not care about his children. In other words you absolutely must want a family.

I consider myself to be a Sadist....I love all things to do with pain play. Not for the sake of inflicting pain but mostly for the responses which I find extremely erotic. If you do not think you could handle it...you might be surprised.

I envision a somewhat "normal"appearance in our life. There would be activities with the children as well. But you as my slave would be in chastity 24/7. There would be daily chores you would be required to take care of, as well as working, possibly part time depending on what your occupation is. Play time would happen when and where I desired. Cuckolding would be a part of your thoughts routinely. Forced bi play would be required, but since I am searching for a tpe = TOTAL POWER EXCHANGE! That should not be an issue with you. I will require that you learn protocol, rules and positions to better please and serve me. I have a custom built cage, and various other play toys. I am in the process of having a fucking machine built to further my collection. I do not dress in leather and heels 24/7 and yet I feel I can Domme you...even in my nightgown!

If your desire is to please your Domme...
If you like doing household chores and generally making Her life easier...
If being at Her mercy for sexual play at any time *grins* or all the time is a Huge turn on...

If you think that you are up for a challenge....email me.

Can you walk the talk????

In case your first question is where are you...Im in springfield Missouri.

I AM NOT INTERESTED IN ANY ONLINE play!

If you want to email me:
Include a picture.
Must love children
Must be over 21 & under 45.
Must be interested in relocating.

IF YOU WANT TO EMAIL....
INCLUDE A PHOTO

I DO NOT ACCEPT ONLINE CHAT REQUESTS UNLESS YOU HAVE FIRST FOLLOWED THE ABOVE INSTRUCTIONS AND EMAILED ME


If you read nothing else of my journal look at 11-3-05!
***WARNING: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies or projects - You DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post a similar notice to this or you may copy and paste this one.

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7/15/2010 8:21:59 AM
Its been awhile since I wrote last bringing a few of my aventures to life.  Today I needed to vent a little......

What does sold out mean?  Committed to the lifestyle???

Does the fact that I have a loving heart mean I am not a good Domme?

I guess my soul searching and questions go along with recent events where a slave basically told me after a period of time of making me think he wanted to belong to me that he was "rethinking" things!

I am stunned and find myself wondering if it is my fault somehow of not representing myself to be the loveable sweetheart I am?  Or do you think that loving and strict dont go together?

All I know is I love the way I believe one should live life with your whole heart and soul.

4/26/2010 7:08:06 PM

Watching you receive your spanking from Clay had excited me more than I had imagined it would when I suggested it.  I wondered briefly how the rest of the night was going to make me feel considering the wonderful start.When he finally released you your ass cheeks bright red I watched as you slid down onto your knees your eyes on the floor, your face every bit as red as your ass.I reached out and ran my hand over his cock watching it spring to life then moved closer and kissed him passionately.  I knew your eyes were still on the floor but I also knew you would be stealing glances because you enjoyed watching.His hand slid up my thigh to cup my ass pulling me closer as my leg was thrown carelessly over his lap. Straddling him now I claimed his lips savoring his taste. Then without looking over my shoulder or otherwise acknowledging your presence I tell you "Lick my ass slut, make yourself useful".  Immediately I feel your tongue sliding softly along my crack then pressing lightly at first then deeper and deeper into my rosebud. I know you are trying hard to show me how much you enjoy this task. Clay takes his cue from this command and slides his rock hard cock into me and I moan beginning to fuck him as your tongue teases my ass.


4/20/2010 7:21:08 AM
Seeing the car in the driveway you feel a sense of foreboding as you turn the knob and enter the house.  The first things you notice are the lack of sounds of the children and the soft laughter mixed with a more masculine voice.  Immediately you know you should not be on your feet and drop to your knees to enter the room.  Your Goddess is stretched out on the couch my legs carelessly draped over Clays and his hand rubbing up and down my beautiful thighs.  I do not look up or make any sign that I have noticed your crawling into the room, watching silently at our feet.

He pulls me into his arms and kisses me his tongue sliding between my lips as his body presses against me.  Finally I look up as the kiss ends and seem to notice you for the first time since you arrived.  I laugh and introduce you to Clay and tell you he will be staying for dinner.  The response from you is the same as it always is...obedient and swift.  But my eyes turn hard as I snap at you for your lack of respect to my guest.  I turn to Clay and ask him what he thinks should be done and he suggests a good paddling is in order.  Sending you to get the thick paddle I ask if he would like to do the honors and he agrees to dish out your punishment.  When you return I first tell you to undress Clay and then I make you lay naked over his lap his HUGE cock pressing against you making you feel ever so much smaller than normal.  The first blow falls and isnt too bad but you hear me say "Oh come now Clay he can take alot more than that don't hold back".

3/25/2010 1:40:09 AM
Today you wake to the sound of the lock and groggily look up to see me standing at the door of your cage.  My blonde tresses are bit messy from the night of sleep and fall carelessly around my shoulders. "Get out here" I command and you scurry to comply crawling from the dark cage to wait at my feet your lips pressed softly to my toes waiting my next command. "Get off your lazy butt and get my breakfast I have things to get done this morning" I remind you. Crawling to the door of my room you are finally allowed to stand and pull on a pair of jeans before heading to the kitchen to start my coffee and cut the fruit for my breakfast.  Everything must be perfect you think to yourself remembering the last time you failed to completely satisfy my strict orders.  Wincing at the thought you focus again on each detail trying to put the previous beating out of your mind.

2/21/2010 9:57:31 PM
I recently had the misfortune to waste an evening.  Does it seem like I have an evening to waste?  NO!!!

And while my life is filled with hard work and ALOT of worry...I still manage to make time to meet people.  You know the one thing I would hope to gain from the experience?

I would hope that I could meet someone worth having put myself in an even harder position.  I'd like it to be someone that just understands how to tell the truth~


THE TRUTH~ 

Wow seems like such an easy concept.  I have told the truth about what I want here.  I tell the truth about who I am, what I expect and then I get lied to.

Why are you pathetic losers even bothering to go out in public if you have no clue how to behave?  Is the truth perhaps tempered with a tiny bit of TACK so much harder than lying through your teeth?  I would much rather meet a jackass than a guy that tells me all kinds of nice things just to see if he can get something.  Which I promise YOU WONT!

8/12/2009 9:53:27 PM
There are a few things I think everyone should possess.  Basic intelligence, a fundamental understanding of humor and a tiny bit of common sense. MANNERS, MANNERS, MANNERS go a long way if you lack any of the first skills.

Curious why I should say something that seems as if it should be obvious? 

I have actually had people write me that do not have the afore mentioned skills or abilities.

Boys you do need to present yourself in the best possible light when standing on the auction block so to speak. 

These are my thoughts on things you should work on.  Best of luck to each and every one of you in finding the perfect Domme for you!

7/17/2009 1:12:28 PM

I am working my ASS off here to do the work of at least two people!  What I need is at least one Domestic and one Nanny or a maid/nanny to help with the children.  I am also rebuilding my house myself due to a housefire and need a slave with woodworking or carpentry experience to HELP!


Would love to hear from you boys that have nothing to do with your spare time.


3/16/2008 7:51:19 PM
Update for how my toddler is doing...I have him in a school program for developmentally disabled children and he loves it there!  I also still take him to therapy once a week and he has some at school as well.  His eye is steadily improving but he has had an issue with trying to escape from home every few mins.  His goal being the park!!!   Im not sure why but I have been told that children with autism do this.  I certainly hope it is a temporary phase and that whatever brain tissue etc that was damaged can repair itself.  We just do the best we can and keep believing for a brighter future.  He is getting ready to take a trip to Seattle Washington to stay with his 20 year old sister who adores him.  Hopefully the vacation will be enjoyed !

1/26/2008 7:02:51 AM
I wanted to update about my little boy.  I have finally gotten him involved in a preschool program for children with disabilities and he is seeing therapists there.  I also still take him to OT. PT. and Speech therapy at the hospital.  His eye seems to be tracking better although I am still not sure he has normal eyesite out of it yet.  All in all he has made amazing progress for someone with a severe head injury like he had.  Of course he IS a little fighter! :)

11/9/2007 12:25:58 AM
THE DATE OF THIS POST IS ACTUALLY 8/07/07

Last night my 3 year old boy fell and hit his head.  He ended up throwing up and I took him to the ER.  By the time we arrived he had swelling and a blood clot that was pushing on his brain.  They took him straight into the OR.Today as the day draws to a close he still is in critical condition we do not know if he will pull through.  They have a drainage tube running from his skull.  If he makes it and I pray he does he may possibly have brain damage.I am writing this for all my friends to pray for me and especially for him...that he can fight the good fight and be restored!I will be offline for awhile but when I have more news I will try to post something new.Say a Prayer for my babies!!!


7/23/2007 4:14:17 PM
July 23, 2007

Well neither of the supposid slaves showed up.  It is hard to imagine why people pretend to be something they aren't.  I guess since I am an honest person I expect that of others.  A good friend of mine said "Why do people do that? What possible benefit or level of excitement could they achieve from misleading you in that way? However, the "glass is half full" accent that you can place on their game playing is this: Not only did they miss out on an amazing opportunity to find fun, adventure and sated bliss, but you were saved from the continued heartache of their game playing. "

So to my friend I say THANK YOU for the encouragement and the blessing of knowing a genuine person.

5/2/2007 2:20:46 PM
This must be my lucky week *grins* I'm recovering nicely from the surgery.  I guess I had to since I had no one to help I just pushed myself to excel like I always do.  But it has been worth it now seeing the results.


4/4/2007 11:19:16 PM
I had surgery last thurs.  I am not really sure how it went.  The Dr ended up doing more than we discussed which I am still somewhat stunned about.  He removed the old hardware and clean the area and repaired the ripped cartiledge.  Right now I am a bit depressed, really really sore, and barely able to walk.  My knee is bruised all the way around to the back in about a six to eight inch radious.  I have 11 staples and the two scope holes are stitched.

I am not sure how long recovery will take but without help it seems an impossible task just to manage my life in the daily routine.  This would be the optimum time for me to own a new slave.

2/14/2007 10:34:15 PM
Ok found out I need surgery and will be on crutches for 2 weeks.  I have to wait until march when my daughter visits even though she cant stay that long so I will at least have a little help initially.  Have to say walking is increasing painful...

2/1/2007 8:05:39 PM
Just wanted to let all my friends know that I will be on and offline a bit here in the immediate future.  I had a fall and reinjured my knee so I might be looking at surgery! I'll update on my progress as I know more.

1/11/2007 4:30:29 PM
I realize I haven't added much recently, I guess it is because I had nothing really good to say.  I had started what I thought was a promising relationship, only to have him drop off the face of the world without a word of goodbye.

While I love this lifestyle, I just dont think I can keep putting myself through this kind of horrible situation.  And yet...those are exactly the types of males Im drawn to it seems.

I just wanted to say to all the sweet boys I have met.  Thank you for your encouragement and for the attention and best of luck always in your searches.  As for me Im done looking.
I'll leave my profile open, for talking to friends only.  DO NOT write me looking for a play partner!

12/20/2005 12:39:13 AM
OK I realize christmas is around the corner...but since Im basically moving this week and next, it means very little what time of year it is. 

However since the new year is upon us all.......I have decided that my first course of actions will be ones that will draw me closer to my goals.

My goals for the New year 2006

1. take my girl to the Dr. 
2. divorce my husband
3.  change my babies last name
4. learn some new things regarding the lifestyle...like piercing for instance *wink*
5.get to know some sweet slave boys much, much better
6. finish my house
7. put my house on the market
8. move to the NW

And not necessarily a goal but more like a gift I plan to learn how to get my whole foot into a boys bottom.  *grins* For all you foot fetishists...just a word to the wise...watch out or you might literally get my foot up your A_ _!!!!

12/3/2005 10:30:47 PM

SUB or SLAVE?????


Submissives submit when it pleases them, for reasons that please them, for as long as it pleases them. Usually, this is only during sexual situations. (Although what is a "sexual situation" is of course almost infinitely variable.)

Slavery :  "It is choosing to give up your choice...surrendering instead of submission."

And......they surrender more than just their bodies and do not only submit when they "feel like it." Submission is not always easy, in order to be a cherished slave, you will give of yourself even when you may not want to.


This is the fundamental difference between being a "submissive" and being a "slave."

 


12/3/2005 10:26:46 PM
For those who proclaim to be a slave.........(I am speaking to a small group here that I am sure probably won't recognise this is directed at them)  "crybaby" was the term used to describe me by one of those "slaves"... So I thought perhaps he might want to also write to a member of the community probably far more advanced and well known than he....and tell her she is also a crybaby, she wrote the following article:

Help for Recovering from the Loss of a Partner – for those of you who have extra sensitive hearts
By Sensuous Sadie

12/3/2005 10:02:09 PM
Again for all the STUPID people...let me say...this journal is made up of private thoughts of mine...if you dont like what you hear........DONT read it!

12/2/2005 3:19:09 PM
I haven't written in awhile, I have been busy with my children.  Especially the new baby *grins* she loves boobs almost more than some slaves I know. LOL   My outlook has been steadily improving.  My house is getting to the end and should be able to move in by christmas.  Of course I still need to get a lil more money and finish it but I can do that I know.  My daughter will be moving shortly after the holidays she wants to start the first of the year out on her own.  I will miss her help and the children will miss her attention, but I have been thinking alot about how happy I was raising my other children alone and I know I can handle it come what may.  I think the change in my attitude has to do with the rewards of parenting...I get sweet sweet kisses, and smiles by the dozen.  Little sighs of satisfaction and contentment when my daughter is feeding!  Watching each milestone of their learning.  My son is just now figuring out his spoon and fork and LOVES straws!  My tiny baby girl smiles and gives the nicest open mouth fish kisses!

So I can do ANYTHING!!!!!!!!
I'm a Mom!

11/23/2005 5:48:43 PM
Today I cried for the children, really cried...for all the things I cannot give them.  More of my time, effort and more money I do not have.  I have spent the last week and half 12 days since my girl was born desperately trying to make it all work.  Helping my 16 year old with a car and trying to get my house and car in order and take care of my two little ones.  There is simply not enough of me to go around.

I talked with my husband the other day and he said "hes just not ready to settle down"  and I cried because no one bothered to tell me before I brought children into the world that I cannot fathom how to care for alone.  I recall the conversation vividly we were sitting on my back porch smoking and talking and he it was fathers day and he told me of losing two twin girls.  Their death had scarred him or so it seemed.  He talked about the sacrifice of trying to be near them when they died and how he couldnt attend the funeral.  And my heart bled.  I said to him "If you want to have children with me...it would have to be SOON as my biological clock is ticking fast."  We talked about it more and he said he really wanted to have kids with me...and so we didnt use protection.  Shortly after I became pregnant with my son...and it seemed we were happy.  He left right before the baby was born and came back just in the nick of time for the birth, only to leave again when my son was 3 months old.  Since then its been like a revolving door on my house and I am just now thinking that my son is somewhat over it.  He doesn't know his father and never will.  I just wish I knew now what I didn't know then...


AND WHAT MAKES PEOPLE LIE???????????????????????  Is it really so hard to tell the truth?

11/17/2005 11:20:36 PM
My baby girl is finally here...she was born on 11/11/05!  The delivery went relatively easily or maybe I have just gotten really good at it. LOL  She is absolutely beautiful and I couldn't be a more proud mother.

11/10/2005 8:58:28 AM

Friday 11/11 is D-day *grins* Delivery Day......I am both looking forward to it and completely petrified lol I guess it is still just the thought of being alone and being in such a helpless state.  It would nice to feel there was someone there concerned about my well being.  Having done this before I can say that the staff is always great but theyre main concern is always the baby.  I am glad for that too....I certainly won't be in any position to watch out for her well being.  The time in the hospital is sounding more and more like a heavenly vacation since the nurses will help with her care at that time and I can get at least a tiny bit of rest.  I think I am sincerely going to need it.  I couldn't hardly sleep at all last night thinking about all I have to get done today and peeing every hour. LOL  Realized I have this stack of boxes to move to get to my girls things that I need to take the hospital.  Originally I had thought I would be moved back to my house by now.  I know that I will be there before christmas but it will take at least another couple of weeks.


Any of you handymen out there want to come volunteer some work time?????????? 


11/8/2005 3:33:13 AM

Here I am again writing down my thoughts.  This is IT.  My girl will be here this week. So next week when I am back online I can tell everyone about how the road is getting brighter.

I have basically been a wreck since the Dr told me the day and time.  Hes going to "help" me along ...partially because of my age and I think partially because shes small and I still think they are a bit worried even though they say theyre not.

Later today I will pack my bag and try to get everything in order around the apt since I will have to come home to this tiny cramped space.  *sigh*  I guess my house probably won't be done until December at this point.

I don't have anyone to go to the delivery room with me so I will be doing this birth totally alone.
Certainly be a story to tell later.

My teenage girl is going to help out by watching my toddler while I am away.  Wow is that ever nerve racking.  Not that I don't trust her but hard to leave my little sunshine.  I will miss him so while I am in the hospital!

A sub friend of mine has offered to drive me home when I am released so at least that is covered.

I haven't gotten many REAL offers to come and help the week I come home from the hospital but that would be something much needed if there were someone that was honestly service oriented and didn't just want some play time.

If so.....send me an email




11/3/2005 3:30:24 PM

To start again...let me say this is just MY thoughts.....

I was sitting here thinking last night about what I could say to let perspective slaves get to know me better.

I had one tell me that the romance I want shines through in my words but perhaps to some it is not so clear.

I believe I could have lived in a time long past where men were gentlemen and opened doors, held chairs or stood when a Lady entered a room.  Those are endearing qualities.  Those should be qualities of a good sub or slave.

If you looked at my profile and you saw a beautiful Lady could you picture treating me in such a manner?

Could you walk along the beaches of life with me dipping your bare toes into the waves?

Could you hike up into the mountains to view a beautiful waterfall and share a picnic under the shade of a tall oak?
Could you help me to make the walk if I couldn't do it alone?

Would you appreciate sitting in my garden at night listening to the night sounds and the scents of my hard work to grow herbs and a mirade of flowers?

Could you lie on your back with me in the cool grass and star gaze?  Or watch a meteor shower?

When I am sick or hurt would you be able to care for me instead of thinking of yourself?

Would you be able to look deeply into my eyes across a candlelit dinner years down the road and still see me as beautiful?

Could you suffer, really suffer for me and still look at me with tenderness knowing that I care for you regardless of the pain I have just inflicted?  Could you really give to me your tears?

Can you honestly say that you could hand over control completely of your own life, your dreams, your desires, your body, mind and heart?

Do you fully understand how to communicate and how important that communication is to not only the survival but the nourishment of the relationship?

Can you be both strong and weak?  Can you tell when each is needed?




10/30/2005 11:07:59 AM
Ok for those that missed it every other place I have made it clear....I DONT GIVE A RIP if you think Im negative.  I don't care if you think I should "get over it".  This is MY profile and I will write what I please.

I am working through some grief and I have about a dozen buckets full of hormones more than you...so get off my back!  If you don't like what I write...don't read it and don't waste both our time writing.  In other words...GET YOUR OWN LIFE and you run THAT as you see fit!

*Grins* and now that I have that off my mind...

I would like to say Thank you to the Many, Many friends I have met.  To all the slaves that from their heart have taken the time to just say "hey my thoughts and prayers are with you".  Warm Thank yous.  It is just those little kindnesses that make life easier and the hard times a little less of a trial.  If nothing else happens with the profile (which I can't imagine given the responses)  I will be most happy to have made so many friends.  A person can never have too many of those!

Update on my life:  Things are progressing.  I have workers finally for my house that burned and it may hopefully be done by the time my girl is here.

My 18th month old boy won two trophies in a beauty pagent...I was sooooo proud!!!  But he didn't have that good a time, so no more of those for my beautiful boy.

I got this crazy hairbrained (*grins*) idea and cut off my hair ...again!  My teenager said it makes me look 12.  LOL  Turning it a gorgeous purple later today.  I personally hate it, but hey it will grow eventually.

I've spent the weekend helping that same naughty girl celebrate her 17th birthday.  Spent a ton of money helping her buy a car, and plan a halloween/birthday party.  Guess whos the designated driver for all those friends????????

I'll write more later when I think of more things to say...be they positive or negative.  *laughs*

10/17/2005 8:54:13 PM
The Doctor said it might be less time than we originally thought until my girl is here. Wow 3 weeks to go!!!

I have another move I have to make and hopefully my house will be done by then so I can move into it.  I dont know if there will be enough time but I hope so.

I haven't found anyone yet and always I wonder at the stupidity of those that email.  Is it really so hard to follow instructions?  There they are written down and I still get emails that are not following the rules.  Then there are the ones that do follow the rules but they are balding, hugely overweight uncared for males....why if you want to be a slave would you not want to be the best you could be.  I do not buy old rotten apples at the store...what use do I have for someone that cares so little for themselves?

On the other hand there is nothing uglier than a sexy young slave that is all ego and wants to strut his tailfeathers....boys *frown*  check your ego at the gate!

I have been involved in the lifestyle for 8 years now and although I believe I am constantly learning I also believe I am one amazing Domme.  Not because Im smarter than anyone else or more beautiful.  What I do have however is a rare combination of beauty, intelligence , creativity and charm mixed with the sharp contrast of bitchiness that can keep you in line.

I guess today Im feeling a bit lonely... I wish for someone to rub some lotion on my belly and reassure me that everything will be ok.  Odd those little things that are missed when one loses their companion and slave. 

10/14/2005 6:26:29 PM

10/14/05

I would like to say I had some idea what I wanted to write here but I suppose it is just thoughts swimming in my head that I need to set down on paper.  Not for anyone else but mainly for me.

I got alot of work done today and managed to find time to play with my son and watch a movie as well.  My girl is kicking like crazy and I know that just days from now she will be in my arms instead of my much rounded belly. I am going to both miss her inside me and love her being a part of my world where I can look at her beautiful face and touch her.

Periodically I think about her father.  About how much I loved him and what was lost and is now irreparable.  I do not know what strange and unsettling thoughts gave rise to him wanting to leave yet again.
I can say that there were moments in training him to be my perfect slave that I thought I was in heaven.  Certain sounds or a look he would give me when our eyes met and locked...I know for me it was everything that I ever wanted in that moment when time became meaningless and there was only us.

I believe that a D/s relationship should be not only the sharing of two lives, but two hearts, two minds and two souls.

They say that you see in others what you wish to see and perhaps I saw something that really wasnt there.  I am trying to come to terms with that now hoping that I can learn from this mistake and not make it again down the road.

I don't know if I should have put up a new ad here.  I don't know if I am honestly ready to give everything and open my heart again.  To risk it all and train another boy and perhaps fail again.

I do know that maybe by moving on I can forget some of what I've lost and make a new life.  It will be hard to come to terms with the differences and yet I hope there are no similarities.  I am hoping this time that the boy is willing and able to open his heart and that he and I will be able to connect in ways I have only dreamed of.


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michelebrookes
 
 Age: 26
 Chicago, Illinois