So I drove down to the Owner’s last Friday, stopping at Wal-Mart for some necessities like soda and snacks, and then just chilling out.  J was expected to come sometime that evening but no real time.  However, when he had not called by 7 I was getting a bit concerned.  Luckily he called before I was too worried (in the middle of a 2 minute call I had with the Owner of course) and said he would be packing and coming down soon.  I started watching Phantom Menace, but when J had still not arrived by 9:30 I began to get quite concerned and left another voice message (one day he will be killed for not having a cell phone).  He called a bit later from a payphone saying he was lost and upset.  I’m sure it was because my directions sucked and luckily he was only two minutes away so I drove to him so he could follow me back.  
He was definitely not happy with me when we got in so I just gave him some TLC and we went down and started watching a Fish Called Wanda which I’d never seen, gave him a foot massage, a bit of a back massage and then spooned on the floor.  The movie was funny but not anything special and then we headed up to bed.

And then we had awesome sex.

And then we went to sleep.  We awoke sometime mid-morning and got into another romp together, went back to sleep for awhile and then I got up to do kitty stuff.  J woke not too long after that and felt he should get going soon because he had a few errands to run.  I was sad for him to have to go so shortly after arriving and not to see him the next day, but I understood that he has his own life now and said goodbye.

I got showered myself and then headed up to my sister’s to hang out with them and my mom for her birthday.  I had gotten her a memory foam pillow as part of her Christmas present and she loved it so I’d gotten her the memory foam mattress topper for her birthday, which she also said was great.  The nephews were bouncy and ready for fun so we headed to the local pool and hung out.  It was the funniest thing in the world to see my mom and sister waterfight.  Unfortunately, my period decided to start at that point and my purse was back at the house.  As well, my teeth were annoying me so I kinda just sat around in the shade the rest of the afternoon.  The good news being of course that my period would NOT be occurring during Leather Retreat which would just have totally sucked.

I said goodbyes and went back to the Owners, shortly followed by DCS arriving.  He sat on the floor while I did some email and then Sexy K finally returned my messages and said she was going out to the Crucible with a date and would love for us to go with her.  Well even though I wasn’t much in the mood, I couldn’t pass up an invitation like that.  So, DCS and I had a rushed dinner at Applebees, which was quite enjoyable not only from the company but from the food, then returned to get ready.

Sexy K and her date were a bit late of course (though dressed amazingly in their matching fishnet and matrix-type coats) but we made it to the Crucible fairly early, just as play was getting into swing.  DCS and I hung out mostly, letting him sit next to me and rub my feet some (he loves the feet, I love the attention).  Sexy K had an annoying encounter with an ex-top who apparently is very bitter over their relationship ending but moved on to have a great scene with her date.  We watched some and then…as I turn to look around, I see a figure in shiny blackness walk through the anteroom into the dungeon floor.  Why is it that J always seems to move in slow motion the first few seconds I see him walk in?  I saw J, was stunned for a few seconds that it was actually him and then rushed over and gave him a huge hug and professed how happy I was to see him.  He was of course surprised to see me as well and we headed over to the cage/couch area.

There he met up with some of the other DC/TNG peeps, which was slightly awkward for me.  He obviously had a good bond with all of them, and he had a good bond with me, but I’d barely met any of these people before.  J was lost in his attention fest from the lovely ladies (and they WERE all lovely ladies) and I couldn’t abandon DCS who was attentive at my feet, though also unsure how to handle the situation.  

But eventually the circle broke and we got in, casually, finished introductions and greetings and then went on to other play.  I spontaneously delighted in having DCS crawl after me to get to my feet and wish I had more room/time to do that, eventually making my way back to J and talking a bit.

We relaxed some, watching Sexy K a bit, and then one of the lovely ladies (who I recognized from the LF&P not only for her great smile, but she was wearing the same yellow kilt outfit as she had before) came over and asked to help co-top with J as she had never topped before.  I of course agreed, made sure DCS was snug in his cage and went over.  I quickly sensed that J wanted me there to help but would benefit more from playing directly with the Lady in Yellow, and realized that if I simply let things take their course and was a reassuring presence for the Lady in Yellow, that I could bow out soon enough and let them enjoy on their own.  And that’s pretty much what happened.

Returned to the cage where Sexy K and her date were still having fun (her date really is a fun and nice top) but winding down.  We got stuff together, headed out and went home.  DCS stayed over for once and we snuggled and talked a good long while.  For some reason I feel very cozy and relaxed with him very quickly.

Went to sleep and woke up late morning Sunday.  Got around to getting dressed and then headed to Target to pick up supplies for the grilling later.  The big surprise is that DCS had totally cleaned up and cleaned out my car while I was asleep!  I was in bliss!  We went to Target, got some lunch, which DCS could immediately see me perking up (food and caffeine makes Liz happy).  Got our supplies and headed home.

I ordered DCS back to bed as he had gotten very little sleep and then hung out and tried to finish Phantom Menace when NV arrived!  We snuggled next to eachother in the living room and DCS awoke and sat on the floor next to me.  However, I could immediately sense that something was wrong and my very sensitive boyfriend left us alone so we could talk.  DCS was just having a bit of “morning after syndrome” from his scene so I comforted him briefly for what I could and basically just set the tone of normalcy and making him feel part of the group.

While waiting for our other guests, who were terribly late, we played a game of Munchkin, which DCS was actually doing very well with.  Our guests arrived finally and we started up the grill and talked.  I had NV man the grill and got DCS to get the supplies together.  We talked and chilled on the back deck, ate very good food, and then got into a rowsing game of Risk 2210 which I’d never played before (and ended up winning thanks to NVs advice which I took even better than he’d expected and beat him too).  Unfortunately my mouth was still being annoying, my male guests were NOT getting the point that constantly making references to taking my top off was actually HINDERING the likelihood of that possibility, and I was beginning to worry about all the mess to clean up the next day.

But eventually it was late and time for everyone to go, specially sad for DCS and NV.  But they left, I did a bit of spot cleaning and went to bed.  
Got up Monday morning and went to work.  I then got a call from the Owner mid-morning to hear that they would shortly be home- about 12 hours earlier than they had told me before.

Enter me in panic mode, realizing how messy things had been when I left.  The Owner said not to worry but I was quite upset.  I called the NV up to go to lunch and hopefully calm me down but during lunch the Owner called VERY angry about an ashtray apparently broken and a birds nest in the house being disturbed.  I was pretty much in constant tears at this point, leaving the restaurant to talk to Boston though he couldn’t really do much.  

Went back to work and was still terribly upset and talked to my southern friend H who was able to get some calming through when the Owner called again and apologized for being so angry and that made me feel a gazillion times more relieved.  Got through the rest of the day, went down to pick up my stuff, where I was hugged and given marshmallows, made profuse apologies and then went to the NVs to crash a bit.

Tuesday the NV and I headed to Six Flags again and rode a few more awesome coasters.  We did Superman from the very first car twice which was pretty amazing since you have absolutely no wind resistance ahead of you.  He also did the Spacecoaster thing which totally freaked me out and had me very relieved when he touched the ground again.  We saw the very cheesy Batman show and got a free meal with our tickets in the Western section.  I also couldn’t resist buying a pic of us in the front car of the Superman.  I actually have dry spots on my hands from holding onto the bars so tightly.

Wednesday I was going to go home to clean up stuff before the weekend but not only was Bostons father having health problems and causing complications in their plans, but NVs father was having health problems and had to be taken into the hospital briefly as well.  Perfect storm conditions.  I went to the NVs and took him to Arundel Mills to cheer him up where I bought a white lace parasol which will fit perfectly with my outfit on Saturday.  We came home and chilled out and I got to IM with Boston some and make sure he was ok.

Drove home, showered and then cleaned up my room so I could easily find all the things for packing the next day.  Talked with DCS some and processed more from the weekend.  He’s getting more out in the scene as well and I hope I can help him raise his intuition and judgement well enough to not get into too much trouble.
Now I have butterflies in my stomach, in anticipation and anxiety for Leather Retreat which begins tomorrow for me.  My first ever!  I have a few outfits planned (I’m going as a bunny to the Vampire Ball, I wonder how many will get it), have to get some snackage and supplies today, pack up and then we’re off tomorrow!  I have no serious play plans but hope to have lots of fun, pool time, make new friends and have lots of sex.

So we attempted to hit Six Flags again. While I was pretty wiped by the time I got to NVs, he was ready to go and so convinced me to get going. So me, NV and his brother went out. We grabbed Chik-Fil-A on the way and got into the park with no problem. By the time we finished getting our season passes processed it has unfortunately started raining and they made an announcement that due to lightning they were closing rides and would try to open as soon as possible. We figured since we were already there we’d walk around and get acquainted with the park. Well, 10 minutes later, the storm passed and the rides were back up! So the NV and I were able to hit 4 screaming roller coasters in less than an hour since there were no lines at any of the rides. NV ordered me to keep my eyes open on the last coaster and that was terribly intense, but I got to see an Oriole flying around as we got pulled down. While his brother didn’t ride anything, we had a good time and then headed home.
Friday was pretty hectic, in preparation for a hopeful promotion in the next few months, I’m taking on the duties of the job while STILL working as an assistant to my consultants. Better than deadly bored, but very harried, specially with my lovely last minute panicked forgot something consultant.
My night turned around, NV arrived exactly behind me, I shoved him into my car (since his AC doesn't work very well) and went to the cheap pizza buffet thing, which he also enjoyed. Then we headed to a comics store close by and I talked to Boston for awhile, good convo for a change. Then we went to the local mall, shopped around, saw Mr and Mrs Smith- perfect couples movie, a bit too action flickish at the end, funny and OMG a dominatrix scene early on with Anjelina....whew. Basically the movie is an excuse to have the two sexiest people look as sexy as they can in every way possible WITH eachother. And fun.
Then we came to my place, after I had another bout of insecurity, my housemates friends W&A were over in the middle of stuff conspicuous only in that my actual housemates were missing. For some reason this has become their playground lately, and usually I'm not here so it doesn't matter.
But NV and I come up and he gets me off manually, then a quick rough pounce of great sex. Another annoying thing was right after we finished, W started yelling up the stairs at us, we tried to not respond but she kept yelling asking if we wanted anything form the porn store they were going to. We said no and they left. Took a quick shower to rinse (more for his benefit than mine) watched telly for awhile downstairs and he left. I kept watching (recent version of Man in the Iron Mask, (costumes mmmm), then A&W come back in. They are generally polite enough not to stand in front of the TV.
They go downstairs, W comes up in a bit to ask if I want to join them. I say thanks but Im too tired. No word from the Owner yet.
Saturday I woke up when I FELT like it, which turned out to be a bit after 11. Got up lazily, showered and all. By noon the Owner had not called so I called NV and said I'd be at his place, woke him up! The Owner called about 10 minutes later asking if I wanted to come over, I told him what was going on. He had forgotten about the birthday party at Sexy K's later and was irritated about me not being available. I said I'd be happy to skip NV and come see him, but he just said to come tomorrow.
This irritated me because I make it a point to let him know what my schedule is, he TELLS me to get a life and be busy, he can't just call at the very last minute AND maintain solid relationships, and annoyed at myself because he got irritated which I don't like.
But anyway, I go to NV and his latex/rubber stuff DID arrive and he wanted to try it out. I wanted to put it on him but that stuff is annoying! So eventually I just had HIM put all the pieces on- socks, gloves, hood. He was definitely excited. I tied him down to the bed, did a bit of breath restriction, hitting some. His room is just not suited for much play. Then I got him hard and had sex with him which he liked a lot. Got him cleaned up after that and relaxed on the couch till his parents got home. We watched this Christian Bale movie called the Machinist which I REGRET watching because it touches on one of my big fears- driving. Argh.
Then it was time for NV to get to work and me to get ready for the party. I wore my black skirt, pink jacquard corset top, black leather rose necklace, French braided hair with the spike black leather rose heels. Heels were the wrong choice but match the outfit perfectly. Also put on a fake sparkly black rose tattoo on my arm which looks very real.
In thinking back it was stupid of me to drive the 40 minutes to Sexy Ks since we were going to downtown Baltimore which I live 15 minutes from, but I had it in my head that we were going to "go as a group" so I didn't think about it until later.
That being said we get there and it takes over an hour of course for them to get done, Sexy K did a mini spree at Hot Topic and wore this red satin corset top and black mini skirt. I met some of her other friends who are actually very cool people as well. Then we headed out. At the ATM I then realized I had pretty much NO spending money from then until I get paid. Argh stupid graduations, always something isn't it?
Dinner at Ram's Head sucked due to awful service, but good company. One of her friends took lots of digital pics so I hope to have those soon.
Then we got a multi-pass (think Fifth Element) for the clubs (this was my first time at any of these places) and went to the Have a Nice Day Café which is 80s. I don't really like 80s but they played a good mix, unfortunately it was almost ALL girls, tons of bachelorette parties. I had fun but after an hour my legs gave out and I pretty much spend the rest of the time sitting, I was still having fun though.
After that we hit this veranda bar and got some air and talked a bit with everyone. Then we hit the Baja which was a slightly older crowd with decent music (I really do prefer techno/industrial for clubs) and spent the rest of the evening there. As the DD I drove them home, then crashed at my place.
Anyway, got up yesterday and the Owner had not called by about 2 so I called him and he said to come up. I did and they were eating lunch, then took a nap. I went back to cutting up more brush, then random chores around the house. The Owner was putting all his music equipment together and setting up as a recording studio type thing. At 6 I made mention of leaving early due to them eating so late but he said they were going to eat a bit earlier that night and to stay, so I did. Got to watch a lot of the Bravo thing on "20 hottest villains, heroes and vixens" which was fun.
Dinner was at 8:20, which IS early for them. Hot dogs and hamburgers. I love my steaks as rare as possible but I like well done hamburgers. We talked and relaxed, B had taken me around the lawn to give me the rundown for house sitting. After dinner I left and went home, talked to DCS on the way up, talked to Boston when I got home and that was good, started some LR planning. Need to talk to J tonight, apparently he had an awesome scene with a chick on Saturday who came over again late Sunday.
Oh, and since the Owner had me over Sunday, I didn't go to the gaming/hot tub day, which also meant that J and NV didn't go either. Sigh. I won't see the Owner again until the 4th of July weekend probably but he's invited me to go do stuff with him and L and B, so yay.
Monday arrived without much distress, motivated in the morning, not motivated after lunch. I hung out with the NV again for awhile, but I was headachy and cranky and tried to make calls on the way home, but no one was around!
Tuesday I had the NV over to see me and I made the mistake of putting on Armageddon to watch which made him want to watch that instead of have sex with me. I managed to get him hard and have sex with him, but basically it was just me on top until there was an uninteresting scene and he got into it and got off. No more movies!
Then he went home and I found out that my housemates have invited A to stay in the basement for a few months. I hit the couch to chill out with some telly (gotta watch House) and a bit later A&W come in and camp out on the living room floor to do a pedicure thing and it was quite amusing watching them trying to wax their leg and pubic hair for the first time. They weren’t too loud so my watching wasn’t interrupted. After House I went up to my room and packed for the week house sitting for the Owner. Turns out I packed pretty badly because half the stuff I THOUGHT I had, I ended up not having. Oh well.
Also got talk to really talk with J, who is absolutely twitter-pated over this new chick. I reassured him that it was fine and good for him to be feeling as he was, that he would deal fine as long as he didn’t allow his feelings to control his behaviors. He was assured with that, and I was assured by being able to assure him.
Wednesday was hectic as well of course, left work a bit early to rush down to the Owners to do kitty stuff. The Owner and B had said they were leaving that morning, but they were just getting in the car when I arrived. This was good though since it meant I had little to do. So I rushed out of that and went to DCS, having a great conversation with Boston on the way. Arrived at DCS for a yummy dinner (he’s slowly learning my picky preferences) and we snuggled on the couch awhile and then headed out to the Joss Stone concert.
He got us amazing tickets! 4th row orchestra on the right. Wow. The first artist was John Legend who I knew a little of and was actually nice. The best way to describe him is the American Soul cousin to Craig David, but if you don’t know Craig David (which you should) then that doesn’t make sense. He played a LONG set and Joss Stone eventually came on, with a look I MUST steal. If anyone has any gauzy shawls with rhinestones on them, please send them my way! She only played 6 songs however and it was hard to tell if she was actually stoned or not, at one point she threw purple flowers out to the audience.
Bummed about it being short but had to head back, after saying goodbye to DCS, I slowly drove to the Owners, and got to bed at about 1. Didn’t sleep well and at first just decided to go in a bit late. I was actually driving into work at 10 am when I hit an amazingly slow bit of traffic jam and just said to forget it and took a mental health day which was well needed. I headed over to the NVs at work and hung out a bit. Managed to get a yummy sex session after work and then us and his brother again headed out to Six Flags. They did the go-karts right off which looked really boring to me, then we went on Jokers Jinx which is not my favorite ride. We managed to drag his brother onto one of the water tube rides and after that he was pretty much done for the day. This annoyed me since I’d wanted to be there all day and would have been fine with him just hanging around or going off on his own if he wanted, instead of sulking. The brief rain shower ended and NV and I headed to the water area and hit the Tornado which was pretty awesome, then a few other tube rides. We hit the wave pool for awhile but NV got a nosebleed so we got out of that. Then we hit the original 4 tube slides for awhile and were pretty much spent at that point.
Managed to run into his brother, got our souvenir cups cheaper with our coupons, refills only $1, yay! Got Dippin Dots which were fun and neither of the boys had had them before. Then we got our season parking pass so we don’t have to keep paying 10 bucks everytime we go, and finally headed back to NVs. Hung out for awhile there, tired, then came back to the Owners.
Did the kitty stuff, took out the trash, brought in the mail, took a much-needed shower. Then relaxed online a bit. The house is so yucky alone at night, there’s all sorts of creaks and thumps. But I managed to get to bed well and felt actually rested when I got up this morning.
I have a date with J tonight, which is great because I miss him!!! Tomorrow is the mother’s birthday so I’m likely doing something with that, then perhaps the Crucible Sat night since I have a few friends pressuring me into that. Sunday I’m trying to get a small BBQ/picnic thing for people to come over, but if all else fails, NV and I will have fun.
I am definitely sleep and kink deprived. Final planning stages are in for LR and buying stuff and packing will commence next week. Sigh, take me away to your leather straps!

Last Thursday, NV and I were intending to get to Six Flags to activate and begin using our season passes.  The weather was gray but steady so we headed out.  It wasn’t a smooth transfer, I needed food first and traffic was annoying.  But we reach there to find that parking is now TEN dollars and that the park is closing at 6.  It was 5:57.  Argh.  I blame myself for not specifically checking the park times but we decide to head over to Bowie Town Center to hang out awhile.  This of course is where my favorite Debs shop is with great sales and ended up with a white formal gown with silver glittery vines all around it.  Then we wandered around to the other stores but didn’t find anything much special.  We check out Borders for a quick moment and while I needed one of their truffle brownies, I really only could eat a bite of it.  We head to NVs home and hang out awhile, watching Food Network and then it’s time for me to head home.

Friday was mostly normal but I was very anxious about the dinner and party that night a lot like NV had the week before.  But I got everything together and we headed out.  Unfortunately, we took NVs car since I had not had an opportunity to clean my own out which was a mess (still is) and his wipers broke down on the way.  He knows how to fix them but it cost us time and we were definitely late.

Good news being that everyone ended up being able to come, J, DCS, the Owner, NV and I.  Yay!  We all get together and climb into the car to go to this Belgian restaurant the Owner said was great.  It was pretty awesome foodwise, but I think pricier than any of us had anticipated.  We did a lot of talking and it was nice to have people there.  DCS was so quiet most of the time, but we did well in including him in the conversation.

Then off to the Crucible again, where I changed and we hung out.  Unlike most private parties which tend to have more and more raucous play, this one was majority socializing since we had to wait for ChrisM and then wait for his presents and then wait for cake.  So we’re hanging out, they play some pool, I hang out and watch.  The Owner pulls my breasts out of my dress to have them out and cane them with this huge thing he got from Loews.  We’re waiting for ChrisM at the bar and some other guy notices so the Owner drags me over to him and invites him to play with them.  Well, of course he’s a breast man and pretty much starts treating them like balls of dough- kneading them, twisting them in his fingers, just feeling them all over.  Needless to say not only is it not turning me on, it hurts.  The Owner fully says that I’m not a masochist and don’t like pain, but this guy keeps teasing me about it.

That continues for a few minutes, then the Owner takes me over to cane me again.

DCS didn’t enjoy seeing me not enjoy it, but didn’t really know what to do so he just hung out, NV held me down unfortunately I smashed his already hurt toe in the process and J was socializing elsewhere.

Then ChrisM finally arrives so we hang out to talk and say hi.  Then we head up to the social area and wait for presents and stuff.  Unfortunately after this, the Owner says goodbye.  It was sudden for me and I didn’t take it very well, not sure why.  To make matters worse, he told me I had to get marks from two other people that night.  This overwhelmed me because I had my three guys there who I had planned to do stuff with and was totally not in a headspace to try and find new people (this is where my exhibitionist self conflicts with my true inner shyness).  So that pretty much put me in a bad place.  But I recovered somewhat, calmed down, NV helped a lot.  ChrisM did presents and loved my duck tape rose bouquet, passed it around so everyone could see.

Then, I got involved in a scene with the guy from the bar earlier and well, I didn’t enjoy it.  I made the grave mistake of NOT signaling to one of my boys to be near me so I could connect and be secure with them, I wasn’t in a great headspace and the guy was yet another top who not only at first didn’t believe me when I said I wasn’t a masochist, but then transformed into the “I’m going to show you better and be the first top to help you experience the bliss of pleasure and pain.”  Right.  The guy truly was annoying, though he had not at all meant to be, and in my headspace it was worse.  Also because of that scene, I had missed two hot chicks getting waxed.

You’d think I’d get used to people not understand how a person can hate pain and yet be willing to endure it.  It’s a very simple concept to me.  But again and again people don’t get it, they don’t believe me, they don’t believe I could know myself well enough for that.  Or they are just confused.

After that I was just fried.  I cried some on NV and then began to get going, unfortunately meeting up with the top again at the bar.  The top tried to go for my breasts AGAIN (they were really sore the next day) and NV put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me back.  I was grateful for him being there, but would have preferred a bit more subtlety. 

But then I say goodbye, very regretful and guilty and upset with myself as I had intended on playing with them that night, but just not able to go there.  I went back with NV, left him sleeping in the morning and got to my place to clean up.  I was still feeling off but not so much off as before.

Got showered and dressed, was going to a Strawberry Festival with scene friends who have a closed poly family and who host our gaming weekends.  Get there and we head out.  It was even more mediocre than expected, but the strawberry shortcake was pretty awesome.  We ended up only staying an hour or so.  I COULD have gone home or seen NV then, but I made the choice to stay with them and do some more connecting.  We decided to take their boat out onto the harbor.  This was pretty cool.  I tried to have some great fantasies about being a princess kidnapped by pirates, but they kept trying to talk to me.  Also, their lack of planning drove me nuts as they decided to try to go to this restaurant but then found there was no place to park the boat there.  And the boat stalled twice and we were very unsure whether we could get it going again.  OK, so I enjoyed some parts of the trip but was otherwise frustrated.

We do eventually get home and they take me to this awesome place for an all you can eat buffet that’s less than 7 bucks including drinks.  It was a really great place too!  We continued to talk and then got home and into the hot tub.  But then it was time to go home.  I got myself up early enough to be at NVs just before he got home from work and we hung out at his place for a few hours.  Then it was time to head over to the Owners.  I did NOT shovel dirt this time.  Instead I took a huge pile of brush and branches and cut them down to small pieces to get into bags.  It was close, but I managed to get the whole pile done. We ate a bit of lunch and watched a few minutes of Episode 1 (the only Star Wars I can watch over and over again BTW, the others I just find tedious at this point, yes, now he fights Darth, now he kisses the girl, yawn).  Then finished up work in a few hours.

The Owner wanted to do stuff on the computer, so I showered then went up to his room, closed the door because he was playing his music very loud and laid on the bed to talk to NV. After I talk to NV I come back down and tell the Owner I should probably go about 9.  He’s talking online now and eventually gets around to me getting him off. Earlier I had brought up the idea of some sort of commitment symbol for NV and I for when he moved away, like promise rings or something.  The Owner wasn’t too receptive to it and said stuff about how we could get a piercing, but I DID write him an email about it later, telling him I hoped it didn’t irritate him, how I felt it was really important for NV and I, and hopefully that will make a difference.  If not, then it’s not the end of the world.

I talked to Boston on the way home which was good to get frustrations out on him, as it really WAS just a time I needed to vent and let him listen. Also talked to Jsome, who really hadn’t seen much of what happened Friday since he was socializing with his friends, so I explained it to him and he was very understanding and not upset about us not playing.  Then I tried to go to bed but it was rather warm and I had some insomnia.  But eventually got somewhat decent sleep.

Monday I ended up going to NVs after work and he made dinner for the family.  We headed out for errands, got him a reasonable butt plug to start having fun with, where I also fell in love with these pink satin calf-boots that they had.  We got stuff at the store and ice cream, then raced home ahead of the storm.  We actually got into a nice scene where I topped him, however I was still feeling “off” and annoyed that I feel so dependent on toys.  For me a good top can cause a moan with just a look and when I feel I need certain toys to do what I want it makes me feel insufficient.  But it was a good time overall and I headed home in between storms.

Tuesday I had NV come to ME which I hadn’t realized it had been quite awhile, we hung out on the couch awhile and then got into another round of wrestling and force play.  This time instead of progressing naked, he gets ice from his cup and starts using that on me.  COLD!!!!!!  He told me he’s collecting cold compresses to use on me at LR, ARGH!

We hang out some more and he says he has to get home, even earlier than I had expected.  This made me sad, but we said goodbye.  I managed to do a good clean-up of my room and headed to the shower.  Here unfortunately I became very emotional, very obsessive and insecure over things in my life.  I left the Owner a teary voice mail and was comforted some by friends online, and then crashed.

The Owner called me back early Wed morning!  We talked for just a few and I was somewhat calmer and reasonable again.  He gave me some reassurances and encouragement and invited me to come over Saturday.  Happiness is.

Of course, the one night I HAVE to leave on time is the one day my consultant shows up at 15 minutes before the end of the day saying I need to make 300 kits to send out by the end of the day.  HA.  I got copying started, handed her the supplies and told her I was leaving.  Went over to my sisters who had a very bad day hot at the zoo with the boys and managed to deal with her driving down to pick up our grandfather and heading over to the arena for my cousin’s high school graduation.  I had a mix up in my schedule with DCS (which I totally blame him for) who had tickets to the Killers/Keane concert at Merriweather, but I hooked him up with J who went instead.

I thought at NVs graduation that they seemed young but ready.  I thought at this graduation that they seemed VERY young and absolutely unprepared for what lay ahead of them in the coming years.  Here’s to hoping.  We were all excited to see her on the stage with all her regalia and it was quite amusing when the principal obviously recycled her graduation speech from last year as she read “Class of 2004” in the middle of it.  

Afterwards we took her out to dinner and then headed back home- VERY late.  

Tonight NV and I will try valiantly once again to get to Six Flags, past the parking gate!  No real plans for tomorrow but Saturday I’m likely going to be at the Owners, followed by hanging out with NV for a work thing he’s got followed by going out with Sexy K to celebrate her birthday.  Sunday is our gaming day finally with hot tub later.  Not sure who is going to that, but should be fun!

An overall very emotional week for me, I need more sleep and LR begins to loom ever closer.

Wednesday, I went to my place and packed quickly for the next few days.  Like I said before, if the weather had been nice I would have worn something bright and springy, unfortunately it was dreary so I just settled for dark and conservative.  I went over to NVs and unfortunately set him off since he was in high stress mode, target:  lack of clean pants and shirt.  I had teased on the way up about forgetting the dates and times of the events and not being able to make it.  Unfortunately he didn’t realize I was teasing and it got him upset.  Me forget the dates and times of events?  Yeah, that will happen the same time I become monogamous.  I ironed clothes for him while he dressed and we went to the Honors Ceremony. His parents didn’t come which slightly irritated me, but I was more focused on NV.
The ceremony was normal- speeches, mostly inane, and a gift with the medal.  It was a big class altogether and NV did great.  We grabbed a bite afterwards but it got too crowded for comfort and we headed out, getting KFC for dinner.  At home we exchanged gifts, his brother was very happy with his season pass and NV got a big chunk of money from his parents.
We crashed, unfortunately without sex since NV wanted to get up early and wasn’t comfortable with his parents.  I didn’t sleep well at all for some reason but dragged myself up to get to the Phi Beta Kappa induction.  His parents didn’t go to this EITHER which definitely upset me.  NV worked so hard and while I know his parents love and support him, being there for him would have meant a lot to him.  But nothing I could really do other than go with him.  He was stressed again but not majorly so.  This event was far less organized despite being almost identical to the one the night before.  But pretty much the same speeches and all. 
Went back to his place and got ready for the graduation.  Pictures were awful because NV apparently hates them and was getting antsy.  I swear his whole family is passive aggressive as it became a “thing” as to who was going where with who, we eventually all pile into the car and head up.  We said our goodbyes to NV and got fairly good seats.  After the excitement of watching them walk in, we settled for some fairly decent speeches, nothing mind blowing, except the valedictorian.  Turns out I had not been hallucinating as the students with 4.0 averages had red cords to wear.  I felt bad for NV who had only one B his entire career. 
Then it was time to call up the students, so I settled into reading my magazine.  Got good pics of him walking across the stage, and then finished the magazine.  I did actually cry when they turned their tassels, but it didn't last too long.  Then it was time to get going and we ate a late lunch at a restaurant nearby.  At one point I was leaning against NV who was stroking my breast under his arm.  His dad happened to look up and see JUST at that moment which was very funny.  I hadn’t even noticed he was doing it at that point because it’s so casual with us.  We all laughed and moved on.
However, by the time we returned I was VERY horny and basically got him in bed and had hot quick sex.  His parents left before us for the restaurant at dinner and even though we weren’t far behind, we got EVERY red light and EVERY slow person in front of us and were a few minutes late.
Had dinner at an awesome sushi restaurant, Sushi Sono, I had the seafood tempura.  Afterwards we went to Walmart and got pics printed and then I had to go home for work.  Friday at work was pretty pointless but I was here and did a few things.  Got out at 2:30.
Went to hang out with NV again who was tired and headachy.  I told him to go lay down upstairs and I put a cool cloth on his head and scratched his back.  When we came down to say goodbye, he told his dad that science may say that the medicine helped, but he knows that it was me that made his headache go away.  But I did have to go so I left his place to pick up J (who is SOOOO hot and sexy) and then to DCS (who purposefully put a copy of Entertainment Weekly on the couch displayed so it would be the first thing I saw) to go to a birthday party for a Firefly guy.
We were the first ones to arrive and it was actually 45 minutes after the official start time that anyone else showed up at all.  We got to eating- boston market, and then watched Firefly stuff.  I was kinda headachy I think from sleep deprivation and no caffeine.  I also kept working on my duck tape roses which are looking very cool.  Then we played Star Wars Trivial Pursuit DVD, which I was pretty bad at, but our team won rather quickly.
Time to get going as I was pretty much crashing.  Said goodbye to J which was too bad since he REALLY had me going, fell asleep in the car and pretty much crashed as soon as we got home (was about 1 am).
Slept in very nicely and after I checked email I dragged DCS into bed with me and got myself off while he played with me some.  His problem is that he hits a good note and just stays there, he doesn’t branch out or try different pressures and things.  Will work on that.
Then got ready to go and had lunch at On the Border which was yummy and had good conversations about our family which I surprised him by giving him some of what I felt about them, because it was so accurate.  Then we walked about this mall nearby which is a fairly upscale mall and not someplace I’d go to hang out for a day.  But they did have a Claire’s which had a bracelet that was all small handcuffs linked together and a black band that had handcuffs glued to it.  I bought the link one for me and the black one for NV. 
Then had to say goodbye to DCS who came on his own to sit on the floor next to me while I checked email before I left.  Then I drove BACK to NV and we watched the second Resident Evil movie which was cool.  They were all happy to have PSPs now which I have to say are pretty nifty and would be great for long trips.  I also checked up on the Camp Crucible site which was posting daily pictures of their events.  Sigh, missing that and Shibaricon makes me remember what a convention junkie I am and how much I miss that intensity, that group feeling.  Leather Retreat will be a few weeks from now, but it has high expectations to meet from me, otherwise I will happily start going to Camp Crucible.
NV and I went to the fun local carnival for a typical couples thing and we got nauseous on the second ride.  We’re old!  We did a few other rides but knew we couldn’t handle more.  Also had funnel cake of course.  Then we got sno-cones and headed back home.
I was definitely wanting sex again but NV wasn’t sure.  We watched the first Lady Heather CSI episode which he had recorded for me, since I’d never actually seen it.  Then I got him off while he was on the couch and we headed upstairs.  I got on top then and unfortunately couldn’t get myself off at that point.  NV didn’t think he could stay hard and get off again but he surprised himself and definitely got off again.
Got up the next day and talked to the Owner who wanted me to come over and help.  I was feeling very conflicted now.  The Owner had said I could come over whenever, but I felt he would want me over sooner rather than later.  However, I really did want to spend some relaxing fun time with NV.  I ended up hanging out with NV for just a little while and going to the mall before getting to the Owner's, but I felt somewhat guilty the whole time.  The Owner  wasn’t upset or anything when I got there, he was just happy to see me.  Sigh I worry too much.
The Owner  was taking a break when I got there so he got me to get him off, then put me to work shoveling and moving barrelfuls of dirt around the yard.  That’s pretty much what I did all afternoon.  Then I got dinner, Chinese, and we watched Star Wars IV which was cool after watching Star Wars III. 
Got up the next morning when he got another call , got showered, packed, ate, then began shoveling dirt around again.  Luckily he didn’t have me doing this for too long since I had said I wanted to be able to see my mom and he wanted me to drop him off to pick up a car they had in for repairs.  SO I drop him off and we had a nice talk, he’s checking some email again and is very happy with me.  The night before he had said I did a good job for him and he was glad I was so patient and consistent with him. 
I called my mom but she was going to take a nap and my aunt hadn’t had a shower yet so I couldn’t visit! I couldn’t believe it.  But was happy since it freed my afternoon to go be with NV again, which is what I did. 
He was very happy since he had rested and we hung out for a few before his parents came home.  They were happy too and we were all in a good mood until his dad told him to put in this new DVD game Scene It (there's a bdsm reference just waiting to be born) that they had bought so we could play, but then his mom said that she wanted to keep watching what was on and not play so somehow everyone felt frosty and disconnected again.  I swear the entire attitude of the family changed in less than 10 minutes.  I don’t get it.
But I was tired and wanted to get a nap, so NV and I went to his room.  I actually did get to sleep but was woken up by NV jerking off to a story.  I told him to get himself off but he felt somewhat awkward about it and I wasn’t getting back to sleep so I went down on him and got him off.
Then I went downstairs to hang out a bit and then it was dinner time.  Steaks, which were very nice, but they put a lot of pepper and seasoning on it which I don’t like much.  OH well.  Hung out and watched Stargate (boring) and just snuggled with NV.  We had a bit of a tiff over the fact that I wanted him to wear his regalia to the party on Friday and he doesn’t want to.  Not a big deal but I want to show him off and am stubborn sometimes.  We made up in the end and I went home to chat a bit and sleep in my own bed!
I want alone time tonight actually so will likely just stay home and chill out.
I cancelled the Leather Pride Night road trip since the Owner, NV, AND J couldn't come.  Figured I will save the money for the other gazillion things that I need/want (ie NEED new tires, WANT to go to the Master/slave conference despite it's proliferous use of the term "slave heart" which makes me want to vomit, NEED graduation gift for cousin, WANT a new dress).
Not like there aren't 4 other things on the calendar I can fill the hole with already. 
I actually DID spend Tuesday alone at home, which was good because I needed to chill but bad because both NV and I were not happy at being seprated.  I know, sickening, a full DAY apart.  Managed to catch up on talking to friends, too.
Last night I figured enough was enough and got the NV to have dinner with me at Bertuccis, their Mozzarella Fritta is to DIE for.  So is their tira misu and limoncello but we didn't get dessert.  I also had the scallops a capella, which was my first dish you get in those baking bowls, but the scallops were absolutely tasteless lumps.  Oh well.  Then we did some shopping and I bought the NV some sandals for the summer.  Unfortunately his tired/stress level was getting high at that point and the rest of the perusing wasn't as fun.  But we said a sweet goodbye and I headed home to finish up my present for Chris M.
Tonight NV, his brother and I wanted to go to Six Flags to break out our season passes but the weather might not be cooperating.  Unless it's really raining, I'm going to suggest we go in to at least get the passes and check out the new stuff.  Both of them apparently have an aversion to the water park which is actually the main thing I want to do.  We'll work something out.  Good news is that I've gotten my schedule changed to get out at 4:30 every night again, woohoo!
Tomorrow is the party, which a huge chunk of my entourage will be going to, even the Owner!  I have no idea yet what to wear (no wonder I kept buying new stuff) whether I will go for the formal blue/black gown, or the gold mandarin dress, my white spring dress with gloves, my chain mail chemise...AUGH!
Then on Saturday is the Firefly munch which I have no idea if I will be going to or not.  We'll see what happens after that.

Last weekend was not as great as I had hoped, in large part because I never really felt fully “well” the whole weekend and was often just out of it.

I got out of work nicely, after not doing any work for a few hours in the morning.  I immediately went over to NV at UMBC.  I felt half-dead and just laid on his lap for a half hour waiting for the picnic to start.  He got me up and I was very grouchy to him and just feeling like I did NOT want to do this.  But things slowly got going and I went out to the picnic area. 

Well, none of the organizers had thought about things like tables and chairs and paper and spoons and there was no meat or such for quite awhile. NV went and helped bring stuff in.  I admired his desire to help out and do what needs to get done, but felt pretty lonely with all these new people and still feeling yucky.  The weather was chilly and gray too.

But he came back after a second trip and I told him he couldn't go anymore and by that time we had a chunk of supplies.  Tons of soda, tons of desserts- no real food.  We got the coals going and waited.  Eventually they showed up with tons of burgers and dogs and chicken breasts.  I don't know why they thought the chicken breasts would be a good idea, they were frozen solid.

So they started getting the grill going but the guy who was at the grill obviously didn't know what the heck to do and since I'd been grill master for SEVERAL group events before, and to give myself something to focus on and not have to mingle *shudder* I somewhat just grabbed a pair of tongs and rooted myself next to him. NV eventually worked over to me and together we prepared all the food for the event.  It was nice working together like that and everyone really appreciated it.  One of the guys there was trying very hard to be nice to me and grateful for the work and I had to let him take over at some point. 

I was doing much better at this point, if smelling like grease and charcoal and by the time it ended was happy.  I was very proud of NV who, at one point saw a bunch of the guys wandering back and shouted that they should help out and take some stuff back with them.  A bit after that it was time for me to run off and get to my cousins in preparation for her senior prom.

My mom was there which was a nice surprise and we hung out for awhile before A got dressed.  Her hair and make up was gorgeous and the jewelry I had bought for her was perfect for the dress and her style.  Her brother  wasn't feeling well unfortunately and their dad was not much help and actually left without a hug or kiss or anything to A before she left so he could get to the bank.  But we got lots of pics and stuff and wished her well.

Then I decided to go over to NVs for awhile before picking up Boston at the airport.  I showered to get the smell off of me and my hair at least and we hung out for awhile.  His dad came home late and his parents had a bit of a tiff over food but nothing serious.  I had to leave to get to the airport so we said goodbye.

Bostons flight was right on time.  I was pretty stuffed up at this point and so we decided to head home.  We snuggled on the bed and watched Unbreakable with a slice of key lime pie and then just went to sleep.  The next morning we woke up and while Boston tried to turn me on and use his hands on me, I was pretty much still feeling yucky and so not in the mood to give him a lesson.  So I pretty much cut that short and got him to have sex with him on top.  In fact my snoring the night before had driven him to sleep in the basement, to show how yucky I was.

But we got up and dressed and ready to go and drove down to the metro.  The Owner called and pretty much cancelled the Sunday stuff which wasn't a surprise to me.  Then we headed into DC to the Spy Museum which was pretty nifty all around, specially the special exhibit called the Enemy Within about spying and terrorism from Americans on Americans.  Pretty interesting.

I made and received LOTS of phone calls that day coordinating plans with everyone and we headed into the metro and managed to miss the worst of a thunderstorm.  Went up to home and had dinner at Don Pablos and then went to the house to get ready for the party.  K, Sexy K and DCS all went with us.

I wore the black and blue formal gown which everyone agreed was lovely, as well as a blue bindi.  Everyone just LOVES those and I will have to buy some cooler ones as they are very cheap online.  We all headed out to the Playhouse and found that it was a very small crowd that night with only about 15-20 people. 

WIth K feeling bad I wasn't sure how the evening would go but I wanted to hook her up with Boston and that turned out well since they ended up having a good scene. 

ANyway while they did that, I did a caning on DCS.  Just a rythmic nice build up thing with a few very hard swats.  I think he enjoyed it thoroughly.  Afterwards we hung out some and as Kelley was getting into her second scene, I put Boston on a bench and began to play.

I started going and was doing ok though I had two singletailers around me that I had to watch for (one of which moved into the area AFTER I started my scene from another station they had played at which annoyed me but oh well).  I guess I have some timing and heavy issues I guess, partly because I don't have the real toys I want to play with, and Boston told me a few times to slow down, and I would every time.  I got out his singletail and start a few hits, no real pressure, just the momentum, but he said it was too hard and to hit slower.  I start to do this but he goes on with ANOTHER comment that was really snarky and condescending and that just totally broke the mood for me.  I wanted to just end it there but I got another toy, went on him with that for a bit and then wrapped up.  I think this surprised him and we talked a bit after the scene.  It's not the first or second time we've tried to play and it doesn't really mesh because we can't connect to the other persons level.

But we moved on and he dressed in his Purry Rascal costume and got lots of attention from Glenda.  Sexy K was coming down from her scene and so I sent both the boys to give her attention which she adored and that turned into their scene.  I decide to go downstairs in the social area and hang out with Harry the real kitten who just loves being pet and adored too.  Another guy came down and we chatted a bit.  He handed me his singletail to try a few swings on and we talk about it a bit.  Then they head up and I play with the kitty some more and then I head back up too.  I interrupted a conversation which essentially was him saying how I was gorgeous and another guy saying that he would have to show me how to singletail.  I certainly wouldn't mind personal isntruction!

It was about time to go at that point (meaning we were the last ones there and it was after 2 thus the party was over).  Interestingly enough, both of the other BESS board members (long standing) who had been at the party left shortly after we arrived.  I thought this was odd that they wouldn't leave someone behind to just be a presence, but perhaps they thought I could handle it.

So we leave and get home.  In the morning we wake up slowly, I had awful dreams, including calling out which is something that never happens.  But we're ok. Boston  again tries to get me into something but my dreams had me in a bad place.  Then I start making more rounds of calls and ended up that Boston, DCS, J, Sexy K and I would be going to lunch at Olive Garden together.

It was a great time with everyone and Sexy K managed to make me blush by saying that she hadn't realized Purry was Boston for a long time and when Boston had pointed me out as his "mistress" she thought I had gotten another pet or something.  

Sexy K went to her place after that and the rest of us went to DCS's to hang out.  J had his poi and showed that off, Boston got the hang of it but DCS refused to try.  He's so like NV was in the beginning!

THen I suggested we watch Mighty Wind because I was the only one who had seen it and we needed a light flick.  Was very funny of course.  Shortly after that it was time to head down to see Bostons's other domme friend who lived in the area and so we headed to Fridays to have dinner with her and her partners.

THat was enjoyable just talking and eating and relaxing, she likes to talk a lot about the scene and she complimented me a lot on what I wore Wednesday night.  Then we headed up home and had sex again, me on top.  We watched some TV and had strawberries and whipped cream and headed to bed.  Boston asked if I was less interested in giving oral since I hadn't seemed as excited to do it the past few times and I pointed out that I had actually given him a great blow job the last time he was here and that this time my nose was so stuffy that kissing and going down was just not enjoyable.  

We went to bed and I managed no bad dreams until early in the morning.  We got up and headed to the airport. He was rushing to get there at a good time so I felt pretty useless, but I wanted to say goodbye properly.  

Then I headed to work and had a normal day.  Went to the NVs after work and just hung out for awhile, my phone is giving me real issues lately and I don’t like that.

Tuesday I went on a 5^th Grade Class Trip to DC with my cousin B.  I was very much enjoying having time with him but the teachers had not planned anything out very well.  We first went to Arlington Cemetary which was nice as I hadn’t been there before, we saw the changing of the guard and a presenting of a wreath.  Then headed back.  We were supposed to have a “mystery stop” but rumor was that it was cancelled and so we just did a bus tour of the Tidal Basin, yay.  Eventually we get to lunch at Phillips, but not to get too excited here, but our main dishes were pasta, fried chicken and popcorn shrimp.  But the kids got fed and we headed to the National Museum of the American Indian which was way cool.  There is an awesome 15 minute movie to watch first thing and then you wander around.  Unfortunately the kids were definitely tired and stimulated out and we quickly found ourselves in their favorite place- the gift shop.  I wanted a tshirt but wasn’t going to spend 20 for it.  I got B a few things of course and then back on the bus to head home.  I decided to see the NV again and watched a truly awesome episode of House.  

Wednesday I was just feeling very stressed coming back to work and there was TONS to do (still is but it’s manageable now).  With other life stuff and missing the Owner, I was just not in a happy place yesterday afternoon.  But I went to play with the nephews and they had fun then went to the BESS meeting on Takedowns (a long time kink fave of mine) and had some interesting stuff there.  I was frustrated that the NV couldn’t come as he had said all week he had plenty of time and then turned out he DIDN’T have plenty of time, but it was just one more irritation of the day.  I also managed to have some good phone calls with everyone since I needed some distraction and friendly voices and then just relaxed until bedtime.

The NV wants me to come over again tonight to watch CSI and hang out, which would be nice and it’s something I feel up to but blech, I’m still not 100%.  I don’t have any plans (and in fact turned down a few offers) to relax this weekend except for the Fire play demo at the Crucible.  The Owner said that his Boston sub might be coming down this weekend and he would want me to come over to do yardwork and maybe other stuff.  But things with him are always tentative so we will see how that goes.  

Let me start by saying this past weekend was absolutely the best one I have had in a very long time.  I’m not sure if it was a mix of lack of timing issues, no social events necessary to attend or just great chemistry and company, but it was truly an all-over awesome weekend.

It didn’t begin well.  I was very tired and depressed at work on Friday, not really able to get any productive work done, not really caring.  What’s more I’d left my debit card out accidentally at work and so didn’t have cash (which I didn’t find out until I was trying to get gas later).  It also was that many things were pushing down on me and I was becoming overwhelmed with them- feeling tired, feeling like I was pulling in too many directions and not paying enough attention to any one of them, feeling like I was doing all the work and no one was helping me, feeling insecure and upset about my job despite a recent glowing review.

NV asked me to come over before he did his lab work so we talked and ate some food and that was a better start to things.  I quickly packed my bag for the weekend and headed down to DCS.  At first I was still annoyed, I had written an aggravated email to DCS about his directions and such earlier but I called and let him know I was on my way and doing better.  Traffic was non-existent and I made fabulous time to his place.

He has a really great apartment which was absolutely organized.  He also had a great DVD collection and I loved checking everything out.  He was nervous but happy to have me around.  I was hungry some so we ordered Chinese, which was very nice of him.  We sit to eat and watch an episode of Firefly together, I snuggled with him which he enjoyed a lot.

After Firefly we start to talk about some things.  But this is when the Owner calls so he and I talk some.  The Owner wanted me to come over and help do yardwork.  I let him know my Saturday plans but said that if he wanted of course I would come be with him and that I wasn’t sure about Sunday since ChrisM had not gotten back to me.  So we left that for the next day.

DCS and I resumed talking.  He was a bit anxious about how serious the relationship was getting.  I let him know that I would give him rules and expectations, but was not at all dominant and I had no expectation that he would submit to me, only respond respectfully if he didn’t want something or felt awkward.  He was relieved for this and we talked some more and decided it was late enough for bed.

I got a shower and we talked more there, I put him in the collar and cuffs and made him finish making the bed like that.  In bed I had him read Hitchhiker’s to me and then we snuggled down.  I could tell he wanted to do more, but wasn’t going to push it and I was relaxed as we were.

I slept long and hard.  I know DCS got up a few times, he has insomnia.  But I know I slept hard and woke up leisurely.  DCS attended to me immediately getting me things, I woke up slowly, checking email, reading paper, fun stuff.  Then I decided to get a quick clean up shower and get dressed.  The phone continued to ring.  Boston called just to chat some, then I noticed I had somehow missed the Owners call and called him back.  He wanted me on Saturday but I said that since ChrisM had not called about Sunday that I now had that full day open so we went with that.  I was happy since it left my Saturday plans intact.  I would have been fine going to the Owners as well but it would have been disappointing too. 

Then a half hour later ChrisM DID call and I let him know I already had other plans.  He said he knew he should have called earlier (he only had all week) and we rescheduled for Wed.   

Finished getting dressed and DCS surprised me by wearing a shirt that had my Firefly group logo on it!  We then watched another episode of Firefly and DCS produced strawberries and powdered sugar which we fed to eachother.

Finished getting ready and then headed out the door to grab J and get to the Hitchhikers movie.  We get there no problem and a group of us watch the movie.  It was fun and made me laugh, but I didn’t really have much feelings for any of the characters and too much was going on at any one point to really get settled in.  Afterwards we all head to Ruby Tuesdays for dinner.  I enjoy having both of them with me to snuggle with.  Most people don’t react but we get a few looks and I know some people are curious.  Will be nice to see what happens next month when I drag NV out.  I wouldn’t do it if any of them felt uncomfortable, but I love actually living and BEING who I am.

Then it was time to say goodbye to DCS, which I truly was reluctant to do but it was time.  It might seem odd giving a hot kiss to a man and saying goodbye and then immediately turning to another man and saying hello, but it was just right for us.

J and I decided that since we had to be out later that we should commence with the playing and intimacy early on.  And we did.  While I started by somewhat topping, the energy wasn’t kicking and so we switched around and just got into it- and the sex was pretty intense.

After that he showed me a new toy he has called poi spinners.  I had heard of them before and thought they were a little geeky, but they were actually way cool and I had to try!  Once I mastered one of the trickier elements, I stopped happily.  I think one night we will have to go to Orpheus with them and before people start dancing just play around with them in the black light. 

Then we watched the Dark Crystal which I had never seen and J said I had seen too many Jim Henson movies because I predicted all of the plot moves.  It was dark after that and J turned on his black light and did more cool spinning while I took pictures. 

Then it was time to get ready to go out so I broke out my black velvet corset which I hadn’t worn since New Years and figured was time.  He wore black leather pants and a black leather vest and was totally hot.  We arrived just ten minutes late and got in line.  Lots of people there, lots of chicks VERY sexy dressed.

We got in and seated for Rocky Horror, J’s friends were late which unfortunately stressed him out, despite me telling him to let them worry about it, but they eventually arrived and sat down.  The beginning stuff was kinda dorky, but once the actual show started, we had tons of fun.  There was so much to laugh at.  I’m still not a huge fan, but I’m glad I can say that I have been to one now.

We went back home.  I thought for sure I would crash since it was 3 and I was falling asleep in the car on the way.  But we first engaged in “girl in velvet corset joining boy dressed in leather pants in bed” which turned into “naked boy joining girl dressed in sheet on bed” and engaged in an even more intense and delicious round of sex.  It really was amazing.

Crashed until I was awoken about noon by the Owner who told me to get my lazy ass up and up to him.  I couldn’t tell if he was teasing or really annoyed, but I didn’t let myself get too worried.  I showered and said goodbye to Jand drove to the Owners.

Of course I had to stop at walmart since I had not packed any casual or work clothes (something I need to start doing) and the Owner told me to stop at Safeway to get them some things, and it was horrendous there!  I finally arrive and we get to work, just moving dirt and brush and serious yard work.  I can tell some soreness is there now. 

So we say goodbye then and I head to NV.  We chill awhile and then hang out on his bed.  

I head home and am talking with Boston when my friend with an absentee dom calls and needs to talk. 

Then internet FINALLY got fixed, apparently my roommate just needed to reset the router thing.  So I stayed online a bit and caught up, then I finally had an orgasm, which I hadn’t had since Thursday.  It was very great and a bit overwhelming and afterwards I cried some and just thought how great it was to have so many men who love me and make it part of their lives to make me happy.

The week started nicely as all of my consultants would be away until Thursday at a convention which made things fairly relaxed.  Monday night I went over to the NVs which was nice to see him and he did another interesting forceplay which included electrical tape, but he was also stressed about work and other stuff so I will be more disciplined about coming over until the semester ends.

Tuesday I actually DID just stay home and did a lot of talking on the phone, including with DCS who said he had forgotten his keys in the morning and thus had to break his own window to get in.  Sheesh.  I also talked to my Atlanta friend which was good since we hadn’t talked in awhile.  

Wednesday my allergies were back in full force so I felt kinda yucky, but I pulled through.  I went to babysit the nephews as usual and ChrisM and I confirmed our date and decided to go down to the Crucible for their mid-week thing.  It was actually pretty hot in the place and it seems like the temperature can never be well moderated there.  However, he and I did get some good talking and play time in and it was a pretty good first date overall.  I think he liked being able to see people he hadn’t in awhile as well.

Tonight I have to clean and prepare for Bostons arrival tomorrow, I also have NVs picnic at school, my cousins prom, and my other cousins field trip to deal with over the next week but all will be fine I am sure.

Last Friday I decided to go to the NVs to hang out.  We got Chinese yay!  I had a low-grade headache which turned into a low-grade migraine by the end of the night.  But the Owner called and we talked for awhile which was nice and I got to see a cool movie called Code 46.  I would like to see it all the way through with no interruptions.  NV wasn’t feeling great either so we crashed early.  Unfortunately my migraine broke a little after midnight which meant my body was happy and awake when I still was very tired and ended up with insomnia until about 3.  Finally crashed and woke up the next morning.  NV and I enjoyed some sex which we tried to keep quiet (as usual at his place) but apparently could still be heard outside the room.  Oh well.

We hung out for awhile, I got McDs for breakfast (bad idea when it’s a half hour to go…it’s like a shark frenzy!)  Then we had a shower together, got dressed, watched Joan of Arcadia and then said our goodbyes.  

I went home to clean up my room some which it badly needed and get ready for the evening.  I was going with DCS to the sympathy Heaven and Hell party and originally was going in my blue formal gown.  My roommate just looked at me blankly when I showed it to him- as if you can’t do kinky stuff unless you wear kinky outfits.  I assured him that the dress came off and that I would be playing.  In the end however, I went with my original costume idea with black feather wings, black halo, and PJ bottoms with hot pink flames on them.  A pretty simple costume for me, but apparently if it’s not leather or latex and not black, people are really impressed.  

DCS arrived not too late (which was good as if he had been late again for this date, it would have been a serious annoyance for me) and we went to Eggspectations for dinner.  The poached eggs were not quite as yummy this time around, but I still think it’s a cool place to go for something interesting.  We talked a lot.  One of the interesting things he said was that he doesn’t think he could watch me being hurt badly.  I found this surprising as most people are intrigued when they watch me being hurt.  He found THAT surprising and hasn’t quite reconciled the idea of being able to love someone AND want to really hurt them.  I look forward to being able to show him what it’s like in person.

After dinner we headed to the party which was fairly well attended, got to see some friends, including Sexy K who I had hoped I would run into.  As usual I wanted to play early. 

I got him set up and got into a generic flogging scene, which was good to test his boundaries and reactions.  He is so nervous and not willing to let himself go, which will probably take a lot of gagging and time to work through.  But we got through a good scene together and that left us the rest of the evening to enjoy each others company and those of the people around us.  

Which is pretty much what we did.  Talked, hung out, saw the scenes.  Later in the evening I put him in the cage.  I'd check on him occasionally but was getting tired (lol at only midnight).  At one point I go over to him and tickle him some and then he starts asking me to scratch his side for him.  I put my hands on his side and he directs me where to scratch, since I wanted him to feel some helpless and being only able to tell me where he wanted scratched.  I did that and he looks at me and says "There, that wasn't so hard was it?"
I was kinda stunned.  I wasn't upset, I just couldn't believe he'd said THAT to me.  I walked away to let him stew and me think it over.  I got back and he immediately started apologizing.  I walked away from him and started making my goodbyes to people on my own saying we were going.  DCS said he was convinced I was leaving him even though he was the driver (important to note:  I had NOT locked the cage, I had left the clasps free to be opened if he felt he really needed to).  This was good since I was hoping to get him somewhat twisted up.  But I went over and opened the door and told him to get our things and get the car.  We left and he was definitely some upset.  I told him I wasn't upset but I wanted him to think about a lot of things, what he wanted, what he wanted from me, where he thought that came from, where his head was and just generally what was going on from his perspective. 

 I made him go home then but kissed him goodnight and then went to bed.  Woke up the next day with a low grade headache again which lasted through the whole day.  Got dressed and went to NVs for his Phi Kappa Phi induction.  We drove down with his dad and sat through an hour and a half long boring ceremony of speeches and he got his medal- more graduation bling. 

Went home, got dinner which was WAY too much food, then watched TV the rest of the night.  He had a bit of a headache as well.  I also promised to try and stay away until Thursday if possible.  Talked to DCS on the way home and he had written a LONG thing on his feelings and perspectives and we discussed that some.  He felt better and I was glad about that.

Monday actually was relaxing, in terms of being able to lay down most of the evening.  But it was also wearing in that I spent almost the whole night on the phone with one person or the other.  Chris M and I made tentative plans for a date but we will see how that comes out.  It’s also annoying that our internet has been down at home for a week now.  

Tuesday was actually the same in terms of being able to relax and rest and talk on the phone. And Wednesday I continued to babysit the nephews.  I went to the BESS meeting on duct tape which totally rocked.  I got some fabulous ideas from it on discipline and making things and met some cool new people.

I skipped the munch and just went home to relax.  Thursday I had lunch with the NV and then went to see him after work.  We got dinner at DoubleT and then I took him home and did a good pain session with him.  It was enjoyable but I felt I wasn’t focused enough and definitely have to work on another good session with him soon.  Neither of us got a very restful sleep but we woke up with eachother and had a nice quickie before heading out for the day.

A restful weekend?  NEVER!  I’m spending the night with DCS tonight, Hitchhikers and Firefly munch tomorrow, spending Sat night with Joel and going to the Rocky Horror performance with him (a first for me), and then its mothers day on Sunday (unless Chris M confirms our date).  

Thursday, and while I’m not half as tired as I’ve been most Thursdays past, I’m definitely on the downslope.

Last Friday I was absolutely exhausted, why?  Because my period started 3 days early!  Hate when that happens.  Friday I had my date with D from KY, who's on the Woodhull board which were having their bi-annual business meetings. We’d had a date back in the fall with my first suspension scene, that totally rocked.  Unfortunately the timing was bad this weekend and we’d have to stay in. I had decided there wasn't quite enough time for a nap before going down but he ended up calling me over an hour after he had told me when he likely would and I still had to drive all the way to DC, this annoyed me.

As it was, I managed to get to DC and find the hotel with no problem at all...but figuring out how to get into the hotel and get the car parked was a mess since there was construction of course.  I finally get up and he's there.  We chat a bit to relax and then he does some rope play, but just a chest harness and hog tie.  He puts me in somewhat loose and asks if I can get a drink for him, so I manage to do it pretty much on my own.  I don't know if he expected it to be humiliating or not.  I also don't know if he just thought we weren't going into a good headspace or if he was just horny because that was all the bondage he did. 

While I wasn’t really able to get into a deep headspace or sexually turned on, he let me get him off and after some more talking and such finally crashed.  He left the rope harness on which was cool but a bit too tight so uncomfortable through the night.

Then he wakes me up a half hour before the alarm goes off to give him another blow job.  A few minutes into it he asks if there's anything I want him to do.  My mind was saying "I wish you'd fucking let me sleep" but I didn't think that was appropriate so I just gave the default answer of "Just enjoy yourself" and went on and finished.  D had said I could stay in the hotel in the morning until he had to grab his bags but I figured this was a good opportunity to get going so I took it.

I drove back up home, not really getting lost as all (one wrong turn at the start), and called the NV.  His dad had invited us to the movies and lunch with some friends and we were undecided.  NV was stressed about his work so we decided not to go.  I got home, took a shower and intended to go see NV at the campus for a bit and crash on the couches there.  But then I laid down and realized I needed to crash there. 
Slept for a few hours then got up to help my cousin with his science project.  I had my cousin sit with me and go through all the steps while I typed it out nice and pretty.  Unfortunately they had no working printer.  Luckily they live 10 minutes from campus so I sent it over to NV, went and picked up the prints. NV was happy at this point since he'd had a breakthrough in his formulas, so I was happy too.  I said that the Owner wanted to go to Crucible later but we could have dinner first and NV was happy with that.

So I dropped off the prints at my cousins, gave him some ideas on how to put it together and then said goodbye.  I'd have come over the next day to help but they were going to the shooting range.  Woohoo
Then back home, grabbed some Taco Bell and NV and I just relaxed on the couch and watched TV together.  He doesn't feel comfy having sex when I'm on my period but said it was too bad because he just wanted to feel that closeness with me.  Awwwww.

He left and I got dressed.  The Owner had NOT mentioned staying over and I hadn't asked, so I didn't pack anything.  This turned out to suck.  Luckily, I just wore the formal chinese dress and not anything terribly kinky looking.

Got to the Owners and he was cooking dinner (they eat late).  I was worried about how he would think on the progress of my face as I am a bad picker.  Well, best part of the weekend was him walking into the kitchen, looking at me, smiling and saying "Oh, you've been such a good girl!" and then saying how pretty I looked in my dress.  YAY!  We relaxed and had a good time, he was still feeling tired from the virus he has had and the meds he's on for it now so after dinner we went up for sex and then he crashed, of course.  I was grateful for it actually.  I would have loved going out with him and even getting a beating since I'd gotten myself into a good headspace for it, but you know how tired I was at that point.

Since we'd crashed early, we were up early on Sunday.  I got showered as best I could and put the dress back on.  Then the Owner told me we were going to Loews to get dirt and sand for the yard...yay.  So out we go, get some stuff and then haul it home.  I called NV and asked if he was surprised to hear me so chipper so early on a Sunday morning and he said "Frankly, yes." HA.

Getting back, we snuggled more afterwards. Unfortunately I had to get going shortly after to get to J's.  The good part about wearing the dress was I knew J would love it, which he did and we somehow immediately sparked a good energy and I decided to do a scene with him there.  It was just a flogging and he keeps saying I hit too high on his neck.  I think he's a bit too paranoid but will be even more careful in the future.  At any rate, he loved the scene overall.  Afterwards he wanted to get sexual, but I wasn't feeling that vibe at all and gently stopped that.  We were hungry but the place across from where he lives had a long line.  We were feeling adventurous so we decided to see if we could find the Don Pablos I'd passed getting lost around there once before, and we did!  So we had a yummy lovely lunch together there.

Then I had to say goodbye to him, race to get a gift for NV' mom's birthday, wrap it, get home to change, then drive to his place.  In between the driving I talked with Boston to catch up on his weekend and spend some good phone time together since we'd had hardly any last week. 

Get to NV' who is cooking dinner, his mom enjoyed the gifts a lot, NV was happy since he'd gotten a good draft of his presentation poster completed and even his brother came out for a good half hour to eat dinner with us.  Then it was just chilling.  I was feeling a bit clingy and needy to NV, probably just the thought of the impending week and stayed a bit too late.  Oh well, got home.

Unfortunately I had stayed too late and woke UP with a bad headache.  I was on a good caffeine and drug high by mid-morning which helped but I knew I’d hit my limit.  The BESS Board meeting was that night and I attended and became their official new Secretary, yay!  A position I’m well suited for and looking forward to. 

Tuesday I was a bit more rested and went over to the NV’s to help with his presentation on intense relativity and quantum physics stuff which I half didn’t understand.  He was quite stressed but I did what I could to help and then went home.  

Wednesday I went and spent time with him to see his presentation which was awesome and then babysat the nephews for a bit and then decided to go and see the NV AGAIN.  Yes, I am that sickly in love.  Things were tense since his dad is sick and his mom is dealing with final papers and stuff, but we were able to relax together and even managed to entice a quick forced sex interchange with my hands bound with a leather belt.

This weekend has been insane.  First it was going to be Heaven and Hell, then that got cancelled.  Then it was going to be staying with the Owner, but the weathers bad.  Then there’s a replacement for the Heaven and Hell party but I don’t know for sure who can go.  But I’ve decided not to worry about it, people will be where they want and one messed up weekend isn’t the end of the world.  This is what happens sometimes when you let an owned slave be the social planner for everyone.

Hmm Thursday again already.  Well last Thursday was with the Owner and things were kinda hectic with stuff going on so I actually went to the non-virgins to play more creepy video games and then went back later.  Friday was normal except that I was really really turned on.  I had some extra time before going to J’s for the night, so I stopped by the non-virgins again and had a hot and quick session and then left for VA. 

J was looking luscious as usual and it was great to have just a night with him to myself and not rushing around.  We ordered Chinese and watched the Triplets of Belleville (weird but cool) and then a Queer as Folk episode (not the funniest one, but cool too).  We played a creepy video game (same one I’d just finished with the non-virgin) which freaked me out and then got into some MORE delicious intense sex.  We also did some energy work before bed which was delicious fun.

I slept over at J’s request and we woke up and, surprise, were into doing some more sex which was awesome.  Then we finished the creep game, yay!  I headed back home, not feeling that great actually.  Got some food which made me feel better and just acted like a zombie myself for the rest of the afternoon.  I’d had a date and make-up scene with Sexy K planned for that night and we decided to go to karaoke with the BESS group.  I was secretly relieved that she, too, was not up for playing afterwards, because I wasn’t going to back out unless I was dead!  We went to karaoke and had fun chatting and hanging out, got home quite late and I definitely wasn’t feeling well.

Sunday was gaming again.  Not much real to say there other than we played a long game again, which I was not having much luck with and since I wasn’t feeling well it wasn’t great for me.  I also enjoyed the hot tub but since the non-virgin had to leave early to get work done, I didn’t enjoy that as much as I would at other times.

Got home and crashed, Monday pretty much continued to feel bad (cold-like) and did nothing.

Tuesday still felt bad but went to the non-virgins for a nice steak dinner with his family.  Comfy TV watching but no exciting stuff.

Wednesday I again just stayed home and zoned out on TV and computer.  I was hacking a lot at this point but not much to do about it.  Talked with the Owner about house sitting for the next few days while he would be at a music festival with his primary (happy birthday Master!).  Got to sleep and woke up hacking out a lung but feeling overall better.

I’m hardly hacking at all now, and I actually feel pretty chipper.  Had lunch with the non-virgin and will see Oceans 12 with him tonight, and he gave me a piece of chocolate fudge JUST to give me something sweet for dessert. 

I have a date with DC-S planned for Saturday and possibly will go to the Crucible if I feel up for it, specially since Sexy K invited me with her.  Otherwise will be house sitting, continuing to recuperate, and preparing for the big Heaven and Hell event at the end of April. 

Thursday night turned out to be a bittersweet thing.  I went into DC for a dinner date and unfortunately got lost both coming in and out of the city, which made me late and since dinner was at a very swank Italian place it lasted almost two hours.  Suffice to say I was lacking sleep the next day at work.

But I muddled through, the office closed early due to the party and I did manage a half hour nap after getting all the last minute things together.  The non-virgin showed and we enjoyed awesome sex before getting cleaned up and headed out.  I wore my new black and gold Chinese dress and he wore his black slacks and top with the rose boutonniere I’d gotten for him.  I was a bit stressed but otherwise happy.

We made it to the hotel, stressed at being in Baltimore downtown traffic on a Friday night.  As much as people compliment me on my social skills, I HATE mingling, it’s torturous for me.  So we went up to the cocktail hour and claimed a table to sit and chat.  When it was time to head down to the dinner, we went right off.

Now, this was awkward at first because, for a long time, we were the only ones at our table.  Not that all the other tables were full but ours, but it was a bit odd.  Interestingly enough, our table ended up being filled by the national and regional big sales guys, which I was amused at our luck.  They talked to themselves mostly, but we were part of the table and it was quite amusing when they started talking about a Chicago dinner in which one of the guys started talking to a “pro pro”- impossible to keep a straight face.

Dinner was divine with lobster ravioli and vanilla Haagen-Dazs with raspberry puree.  There was dancing afterwards but the DJ was pretty hit and miss so after a bit we headed out.  We considered going to Howl at the Moon, which I’ve never been to, but decided we were just a bit too tired to go out again and planned for another night.

Watched Battlestar at home (I’m ruined!) then crashed.  Got up the next day to get to the Firefly munch, of course it was raining which means people lose the ability to drive and there were two accidents on the way down, so I was late getting to J’s and to the Firefly munch, but it was pleasant nonetheless, specially seeing DC-S again.  I was a bit anxious though because I was going to see the Owner after the munch so after I passed out the cake (tiramisu…yum) and everyone ate, we headed out.

Went to the Owners, but he was still out grocery shopping, so I took a nap.  He came back and we mostly just chilled out for the evening, steaks on the grill on the covered patio in the pouring rain.  I suggested going out to see Sin City and he agreed so we went out (as he noted, first time in a very long time a date has paid for me, is this saying something about my generosity or my dates?  Admittedly, it was pleasant to be taken care of, but I truly do enjoy providing when I can).  Sin City was just phenomenal, intense, gory, awesome.

Got home, slept together, then got up the next day for labor.  I’d invited J to come over and help but the Owner was out getting stuff when he came so we grabbed a quick lunch and chilled out together until they showed.  Then we “helped” the Owner’s primary move stuff, which was awkward, but got back in time for J to meet the Owner’s Boston sub before J had to run home.

Everyone pretty much dispersed and the Owner and I took a nap together.  We were woken up by a very handsome Admiral, who apparently is a long time regular partner of the Owners primary.  The bunch of us sat around and talked, I got naked and played with myself for the Admiral’s pleasure, we had a great dinner of hamburgers and hot dogs and such and then finished the evening with a great scene with the three females present dominating the Admiral.  Lots of CBT and sensation.

Rushed home, late again, got up for work.  Was absolutely wasted by Monday evening…looking back I can see why.  Tuesday I spent time with the non-virgin again, played more Silent Hill, did more preparing for his inevitable move to TX. 

Last night I was with the Owner again (AND tonight woohoo!) and since the Owner was really happy about stuff, we celebrated by doing something I had never done before.  It was way cool and something I’ve always been fascinated with but too afraid of the consequences and not associated enough to actually do before.  Let’s say I liked it a lot better than the buzz I got from alcohol and it didn’t make me feel like I was trapped in my body.

We did some intense play, degradation, canes.  If anyone at work knew what a cane mark looked like, they’d see a very clear one on my arm.  Then crashed late.  My alarm didn’t go off this morning AND there was an accident on the road so I got to work way late.  Argh.  But I’ve been busy, which is a nice change.  Had lunch with the non-virgin and won’t see him again until Sunday.

Tonight, more time with the Owner.  Tomorrow I have date plans with J, Saturday I have date plans with K to FINALLY make up our missed scene, and Sunday is gaming day with hot tub, yes! 

Unfortunately the Boston trip got postponed until May so I won’t see him for another month.  But Spring has finally arrived, I’m registered for Leather Retreat, non-virgin is graduating soon and things feel good (if still tired).

Then home, relax and prepare.  The Non-Virgin and I enjoyed yummy time together (HA, we DID have sex over the weekend!) then got ready to go.  I also had another new sub friend I was hosting out to show her a good time and she came over in a lovely black lace corset top.  Headed over to the Playhouse, socialized a bit, was good to see some people again and a good energy crowd overall.  I wanted to start early with the non-Virgin so I took him up and started on him, using the new knife I’d just bought for him!  We eventually got going pretty hard and while he could have taken a lot more (masochist!) we’d taken the space for a long time already and I didn’t want to push too hard.  Calmed him down, then just hung out for a bit.  My sub friend was ready to go so we left early.  Non-Virgin put the idea of heading to Howl in my bunny costume which made me VERY upset that we couldn’t!  Crashed at home, everyone left and I slept in.

Headed to the mothers for a Sunday dinner.  Mostly just sat and watched TV with them for a few hours, including Kill Bill Vol2.  Nice Easter flick, yeah?  Dinner was pot roast which was delicious, but 6 hours sitting and watching TV in cigarette smoke is about my limit so I said goodnight, headed to the Non-Virgins for a few hours and then got ready for another week at work. 
Theres a big office semi-formal party on Friday I’m going to with the Non-Virgin and the Firefly munch on Sat with the non-Virgin, J AND DC-S which will be nice.  The Owner has made tentative plans to have me come over Sat night so I’m very anxious about that.  Beginning to make next visit plans with Boston but otherwise, I just wish Spring would arrive already!

Weekend got off to a fairly calm start.  Had not intended to stay over the Non-Virgins, but was too late by the time we’d had enough of eachother so I just crashed.  Sat I went back home to chill and dress before dinner with Special K.  We went to a fabulous Japanese place nearby, and I’m finding I really love that kind of stuff, the freshness of it and the many different courses is very appealing.  Unfortunately, it took FOREVER and I ended up calling J several times in apology and delay.  We got back to my place, changed and headed down.  Picked up the non-Virgin, picked up J and then went to the Crucible, considerably later than usual, but it was very busy!  That was nice to see.

I got started with J on a scene right off, using his two new floggers.  I ADORE his lighter mink/leather one, and it was the one thing I really WANTED to buy at the LF&P before he snatched it up.  Maybe one day I will have one…but I did the next best thing and played hard with him.  It was a truly excellent scene, not in terms of doing something outrageous or very new, but in the depth of connection and confidence I felt in myself as a top and in where I was taking Joel. 

After we’d calmed down from that, I was feisty and wanted non-Virgin to do some stuff with me so we went to a corner and did a little nasty stuff (nasty being painful).  Then it was nearing end of the evening but I wanted to do some fun stuff with my DC-S so we headed up and put him on the bondage table and did some tickle touch stuff.  Nothing serious as it was too late, but we did have fun.

Then, I sent everyone home one by one, was exhausted by the time I got to bed.  Then the next day I woke up and was craving to see Non-Virgin again and so we went to Bertucci’s for lunch where they have this AMAZING fried cheese with plum-tomato sauce which just melted in your mouth and I want again very badly.  Then we hung out at the mall some and bought more zombie video games.  I wasn’t supposed to get INTO the zombie video games, but apparently I’m a big survival-horror game fan.  Go figure…

Again I spent the night and got up early the next morning to…PACK FOR VACATION!!!!  I ran home, packed, got my oil changed, grabbed lunch and picked up the non-Virgin and we were off for 3 days of relaxation!  We were staying at a gorgeous bed and breakfast in the mountains of northern Maryland and it was amazing.  A room with a bed, tv, fireplace, Jacuzzi tub, a sun room with a daybed and fridge.  Our hosts were as sweet as could be with amazing breakfasts and a white cat.  They also had an outside hot tub which I had COMPLETELY forgotten about so once the Non-Virgin and I were settled and had “christened” the room, we went to buy suits (damn no nudity) and stock supplies for the room.

We spent the afternoon walking about the store and driving around the towns, checking out the hobby shop with cool railroad stuff.  I took him to Golden Corral for dinner which he’d never actually eaten in before.  Not the swankiest, but it’s got a lot of sentimental attachment for me and the food is always great.  So we stuffed ourselves there, headed back to the B&B, hit the hot tub which was fabulous and then played video games for the rest of the evening.  We were the only guests there for the entire time so it was very luxurious.

The next day after breakfast we headed to the spa and both got massages and salt rubs and mud wraps and it was divine.  If I ever have a place big enough, I want a room JUST for pampering and massaging in.  After that we grabbed a quick lunch and then decided to spend the day in Frederick.  Unfortunately Frederick doesn’t have much going on in the middle of the week before tourist season but we wandered around, grabbed truffles for family, found a park, and just enjoyed eachothers company while trying to make time before dinner.

Finally picked a place and had fried plantains, which was an odd texture mix between bread and potatoes but very tasty.  Then we drove back and discovered there were NO alcohol stores open after 8 in the town and did hot tubbing again, watched Mallrats and played more zombie games.

The next day was wet, cold and misty, very creepy after playing a game like that.  We dejectedly packed up and went back home, back into the land of cell-phone reception, and relaxed for a bit.  Then headed to the mall and I bought a gorgeous silk dress and bought the non-Virgin a double tipped knife to enjoy.  Dinner at the DoubleT, and unfortunately I had to head home to work again the next day.

Begin last Friday. Got out of work, dashed home to do final cleaning stuff, car and room, enough to lay down for a good hour nap before having to get to the airport. Of course my roommate had to wake me up because I'd gotten a piece of mail even though the lights were out in my room and I wasn't making any noise. Sigh, oh well. Got dressed to go out, at first I couldn't find the skirt I'd wanted to wear and considered going in my pink schoolgirl skirt, but I really wanted to put on a "dominant appearance" so I searched some more and found it.

Went to the airport, waited a bit and there he was! It was very good to see Boston again and I whisked him away to the restaurant Eggspectations (can you believe it's based in Canada and there are only 2 in the US? One being in Columbia MD). It was busy but no wait which is nice on a Friday night. I got the eggs benedict and he got crab crepes. The poached eggs were sublime. We did lots of relationship talk stuff and reconnected and then I took him back to my place.

I got right to business and took him on a nice little flogging/whacking scene which I think he greatly enjoyed. I let him sleep in the cuffs, which was awkward since there's an attached collar piece which I hadn't put on him, but oh well. We awoke lazily the next day to remember I had not gotten any breakfast stuffs as I never eat breakfast.

I sent Boston downstairs to scrounge while I checked email and then joined him. He was able to find some stuff to eat and then we still had a long time before we had to get going. I wasn't really feeling up enough to do more play so we watched Legally Blonde which Boston had never seen but found very amusing. Unfortunately the sequel was not quite as fun and witty.

Then it was time to get ready so we showered and were on our way, a little late unfortunately. I got held up with stuff and he tends to putter around- rule from now on, be clear about being ready to walk out the door at X time or else! I was also cranky with hunger at this point. We hit Chipotles which Boston hadn't been to either and had some delicious food.

Time to drive down to pick up J who was cuter than ever in his shiny flame shirt. (Note: more shiny punk shirts for J as presents) Then we hit the Leather Fleamarket & Play (LF&P) to find Non-Virgin and a bunch of other friends around. I'd originally gone to buy but I always get so self-conscious at those things and just kinda look around. I do most of my buying online. Met with my friend S who I hadn't seen in months wearing a to die for corset and she had my red corset dress and pullover which I'd left at her place almost a year ago! Happy to be reunited, we just wandered around and looked at stuff until she left. They also managed to get me into the vac bed. It was an interesting experience, but I just prefer hard bondage. The experience of the pressure LEAVING the body was pretty cool though.

Continued to wander, my ex's and their sub were there but things were met with mostly nothing to note. Boston decided he wanted his kitty to play so he changed and started wandering around. When he went up to be cuddled, J and I snuggled on the couch a bit. Then the Non-Virgin came to tell me the Owner had finally arrived so I dashed to be with him and walk around. He unfortunately was quite sick and only stayed for a half hour or so but it was nice that he came and specifically didn't want to disappoint me.

I returned to the fiesta inside and realized it was about my dinner time. Few more friends had shown up but I wasn't going to try and corral everyone just to go out (I know I eat earlier than most people). So I grabbed the Non-Virgin and Boston to go out and kissed J goodbye who was going off on his own to the TNG party.

At first we were going to one of my fave places, Longhorns but the wait was already almost an hour before 6 pm. So we crossed the street and headed to DuClaw, which had not impressed me last time but figured I'd give it a shot and had only a 5 minute wait. Boston and Non-Virgin shared a beer sampler and enjoyed some of them, unfortunately the one they both wanted was out of course. Non-Virgin picked my entrie which was a good choice, but overcooked. We enjoyed a relaxing dinner and then headed to my place to change.

I showered and dressed while the boys napped. I woke them up and we headed BACK down for fun. There were a fair number of people there already and we started talking and having a good time.

As it was a rather crowded time I tried to make moves for us to start grabbing a station but they kept talking for awhile. Eventually we were ready to go but Boston had me go get the bags, which was also annoying since there were a LOT of them and I didn't know where he'd put them. At this point, we're ready to play and I'm all flustered and annoyed.

But we go up to play. Non-Virgin put me in his fave chest harness and they go for it. I won't bore you with specifics since it was a generic scene pretty much. Of course, we also ended up playing in the room next to where the auction was (I never understand why they don't start those sooner) and next to a scene with a bunch of dykes who were ALL being very loud. I could screen most of it out but occasionally would be annoying. By the end of our scene though they had worked me over well enough and I let myself go enough to be a bit out of it.

We went to the couches and hung out there, me coming back down. Then they started tickling me and that let me go down NICE and deep. At this point another friend just couldn't keep his hands off and held me down some while they tickled.

Then we wander about some, one good suspension going on but otherwise nothing tremendously interesting. As we were watching, the three of them started touching me agian and pushed me down happily again, I just went with the flow. I wasn't really THAT out of it, but happy to just relax. I get carried over to the couches and we sit and start talking about subspace.

This is what I realized from that talk: I actually can go into subspace fairly frequently, just not from or during pain. It takes a real connection and sense of security to get me there, it can't just be the play. And, it takes a bit of effort on the other persons part, it's not terribly easy. I also don't go very deep very often.
But this was new since my impression was that I didn't go into it very often at all. The reality is, it just depends on who I play with and what's going on.

I also realized that Boston is essentially submissive and I need to stop expecting a top side from him really. It's possible we will form a different bond and Im certainly not going to discourage it, but Im going to just go where the energy feels right, and for me that feels top.

Then it's late and we decide to go home, Non-Virgin leaving to go on his way. We go home and pretty much crash. When we wake up, I take over and we have sex with him on the bottom, he enjoyed it a lot. I liked feeling him.

We get ready to go to gaming and unfortunately get slightly lost on the way but not so bad. It's another hour after we get there before any gaming really occurs. We get the game set up and I actually end up doing pretty well, coming in 3rd of 6. Boston won! After the game, we stripped and got naked in the hot tub, yay! It was cool just hanging out with everyone and talking.

I was ready to go after an hour or so, but Boston was happy there so we just hung out. Eventually we did get out, get some food, hang out talking and played a quick card game. Then it was after 10 and I pretty much got us out the door. Lots of fun that day though and made me feel cozy again with Boston. Got home, Boston packed, in bed by 11:30 to wake up at 5 for the airport.

We awoke, I drove him and said goodbye, managed an hour in bed before I had to get to work. This week has been blessedly quiet, going to the Non-Virgins after work every night, making plans with Sexy K for a scene to make up for missing it last weekend, and getting ready for my vacation next week!!!
Tonight we see Incredibles and sleep hopefully. It's St. Patrick's day and I've worn green every day of the week, and today I'm wearing my dark green velvet dress with a white silk scarf with clovers on it. Hope everyone else is enjoying being green today.

So off to see “Saw”again.  I’d seen it before but was taking people for a BESS thing, unfortunately I had a headache which turned into a VERY bad migraine by the time I collapsed into bed shortly after ten.  But before that, I headed over to UMBC to hang with the non-Virgin for awhile with a smoothie.  It was bitter cold so I jumped between buildings for the movie.

Friday was very quiet for me actually, just hung out online at night, stayed up late.  Chatrooms never change at all.  Saturday I went to J’s and we went to the Firefly munch again.  It was fun as usual, but the food wasn’t as awesome as I had hoped and I’m SICK of talking about the Hitchhiker’s movie.  Then we wandered the mall again a bit and went back to his place.  J had bought a delicious heavy flogger at Dark Odyssey and I really wanted to try it out so I had him turn around and gave him a few minutes with it.  That got us in the mood and we found ourselves very nicely on the bed together.  Afterwards we watched some episodes of Queer as Folk.  And I went home and again chilled, watched White Chicks which had a few funny points but overall was pretty lame.

Sunday I had lunch plans with two other sub friends of mine and my first experience at DuClaw.  While the onion ring appetizer was superb, the food itself left much to be desired.  Also, the lemon cake was way too cold as the frosting was near frozen solid.

After that I went to pick up the non-Virgin at the airport who had enjoyed a very good time in Austin.  I hung out at his place and talked with the Owner on the phone. 

Monday I was feeling pretty tired so I actually just hung at my place and crashed at 10.  This was very nice as I felt very refreshed on Tuesday.  Cleaning up my room and car for Boston’s arrival on Friday and just getting things going.  Today the non-Virgin treated me out to lunch which was a special thing and later we’re going to see National Treasure.

This weekend is the LF&P.  I went to the first one they had and have been to a few since then so it’s something I really enjoy.  I’m going with Boston, J, Non-Virgin and hopefully the Owner will show up.  And I’m meeting the aunt, her husband (my ex-owners) and their sub, as well as hopefully a few other friends.  I have a good budget to spend and hope to get one or two very nice toys.  Afterwards will be the party at which the non-Virgin and Boston are going to co-top me, yay!  Who knows what other fun we can get ourselves into.

Let me think, I KNOW I’ve done stuff over the past week or so…I met some nice new people at the BESS swap last night who apparently actually READ about my life, how nifty is that?  But that gave me a kick in the ass to get back to some updating.

But really, it was a quiet week.  We had snow which cut out movie plans, I’m cutting down time with the Non-Virgin during the week so he can concentrate on his school stuff (ok ATTEMPTING to cut down).  But no grand adventures out.

The Non-Virgin had left his computer cable at my place on Thur so I went to his place after work on Fri and hung out, grabbing some KCF for the family.  It was actually just a calm night at home watching TV.  Saturday pretty much just sucked with upsetting the Owner, tantrum throwing nephews and the like.  All of that seems to have blown over and back to normal but it wasn’t a fun day.

Sunday I went back to the Non-Virgins for Oscar fun, which somehow turned into going to the grocery store and buying stuff.  But we did watch the Oscars together and just chill out.  Everyone was calling for Big Snow that night so I was hopeful that when I awoke the next morning there would be a blanket on the ground with lots of stuff still falling for some reasonable excuse to sleep in, but no such luck.  Not a single flake.

So I get to work and the snow starts coming in just hard enough to make it annoying driving home.  Otherwise, again boring nights.  Last night was the BESS swap where I tried to unload clothes and stuff that I don’t wear or doesn’t fit now, but there were a lot more sellers than I’d been led to think there would be and far fewer buyers.  The amusing part was when one of the women started to give me advice on how to dress to get attention.  Her big piece of advice? "Wear white."  Now, I'm always up for getting new tips and creative ideas...but one of the areas I think I'm pretty set on is knowing how to dress to get the right sort of attention that I want.  Oh well, I got to meet people I hadn’t seen in awhile and catch up.  Plans for the LF&P are shaping up nicely.

My Fredericks stuff came too, woohoo!  After all the mess I had with the website, they had a 40% off all their sale stuff so I got a valentines bustier, a crystal anklet and two monogrammed panties for 40 dollars.  All of it rocks!  Instead of me napping and the Non-Virgin working before the Swap we somehow ended up having very yummy play and sex (ok so it had nothing to do with me looking at him seductively and purring how I was feeling really horny and submissive while spreading myself across his lap).

Then we realized he had somehow gotten black tar stuff all up one of his pants legs.  We grabbed a shower and tried to get it off and finally I just thought we should go to Target and get him new pants, which is what we did. 

After the Swap, I convinced him to spend the night with me (save time driving home) so he worked while I chatted online and talked with Boston (less than two weeks!).  This weekend looks pretty low-key for me really.  Non-Virgin is going to a grad-school possibility for the weekend, Boston will be at a LARP con, and I will be doing the Firefly munch. 

Next weekend however…

Friday night the Non-Virgin and I went to the Bound By Love event. I had struggled between pink and red, knowing either would be appropriate, knowing I wanted to be “in theme” and yet unique.  EVERYONE would be wearing red, but likely a lot of pink.  And since I happen to own a lot of both color…what to do?  I went with WHITE and red!  And yes, it definitely stood out.

We arrived shortly after opening.  I have found that if you arrive at an event at the start, and stay almost to the end, you actually feel like you got your money’s worth at these costly things.  Also, we were both hungry for dinner.  We received welcome packets with programs and handcuff keychains!  Unfortunately, dinner wasn’t ready to go for an hour after opening.  But we made up the time by chatting and walking about, not much really going on.  Once we finally got food, we were much happier and it was rather tasty.  We ate with a few other friends as well and it felt very good to finally realize I KNOW people when I go to events now, it’s not just a sea of faces. 

Now, I had been very stressed before this (as my prior journal will attest) and happiness of happiness, the Owner called shortly after dinner and we had a very nice long talk on the phone and got some good advice and was just able to let tension out and feel more put together.  Once we said goodbye, I was ready to rock!

Unfortunately, they weren’t.  I have yet to figure out why a slave auction never goes smoothly, no one has figured out that you need to start an auction at least a half hour before people will be ready to play and to read through the auction slips BEFORE you start announcing them.  Oh well.  But, we had some time to wait before that.  I had the Non-Virgin on the couch with me and was scratching his back (I’m with him because I can check email whenever I want on his laptop and he’s with me because he knows I will scratch his back a lot).  In between I would get up and chat with other people.  For some reason I found it hard to focus and didn’t want to look like a wallflower.

I also put myself up for auction.  Later I realized I should have been specific in asking to bottom, but I didn’t think someone would seriously buy me up as a top!  Silly me!  By the time they got to me, a cute bottom masochist bought me (after a lot of debacle over the raffle).  We had a nice scene, but she wasn’t very communicative or active so it was very hard to get a feel for her and let go into the scene.  With a brand new person you don’t have much to go on.  But it did give me a chance to practice my singletail aim.

After this I figured it was time for the scene I had planned with the Non-Virgin.  I recruited my friend Sexy K (as she will be referred to) and we began to mummify him.  First was a layer around his torso, each arm and each leg.  Then we bound an entire layer over everything together.  Then, I asked if he was comfortable with his face and he said it would be ok with everything above the nose so we wrapped that.  Then we did an entire layer of duct tape.  We laid him on the couch and let him stew for a couple of minutes before I started cutting back to through all the layers with a knife.  He definitely enjoyed it and I look forward to doing that again.

After that things were winding down and we went home.  We chilled some and went to spend one of my birthday gift cards at Kohl’s, buying a green skirt and yet another chemise, sea foam green.  Because, you know, 10 chemises is never enough.

Then I headed home and decided I would be up to going to the Crucible AGAIN, this time with J.  I dressed in just a cute valentines satin chemise and drove down to get him.  We eventually made it to the club and they were doing a “sensuous” evening with belly dancing and supposedly aphrodisiac foods.  Eventually I ended up cuffing J to the chair, blindfolding him and then feeding him the different foods, making him guess which one was next.  It was very fun and relaxing, enjoying time together without having to go through beating him.  We chilled out after that and headed home.

Sunday I had my nephews 4^th birthday at McDs which was noisy but fun except for a bad scare at the end of it which had me going back to the Non-Virgins and basically staying with him the whole day for comfort.  I went home exhausted and work the next day.

The rest of the week was just hectic, schedules forming and then reforming and that always makes me hectic and stressed.  In the end I spent Wed night with the Non-Virgin and he flexed some yummy top muscles.  Thur I went to see Ladder 49 as a BESS function. 

Friday, the Owner’s Boston sub L had come down for work and was staying a few days.  I went down to spend the night with them that night.  I was again stressed and out of sorts, unsure of the situation and everything still to come over the weekend.  But we ended up having a fun dinner at a Japanese restaurant.  We had planned to go to the Crucible that night, but they crashed after dinner while I went to clean up the kitties stuff.  I tried to wake them up at 9 and was shoo’d away, and then again at 9:30 and was chastised for being an unwanted alarm clock and then told to get into bed with them.  They got up about 11 but it was too late to go anywhere at that point.  Annoyingly they both apologized for not going out the next day, which is nice for the sentiment, but don’t chastise me for trying to get you out when you want to go out! Oh well.

The Owner took L to the airport to go home and I headed to the Non-Virgin who was unfortunately sick to his stomach (which wasn’t bad enough to stop me from getting some sex fun) and we just played a zombie video game for the afternoon.  I went to get him crackers and ginger ale for his tummy later.  I had to leave to go to dinner with a new sub friend I had recently met online.  Mexican food, yay! 

We had a great dinner at Arundel Mills and I bought a pink sash that says “Princess” on it and a white wrist cuff (cuz they are so trendy) that says “I (heart) Geeks” on it.  Awesome.  My tummy wasn’t feeling great at the time either, but it wasn’t making me unable to do anything, so we just walked through the mall some and then said goodnight.

Now, originally I had TRIED to get all of us to go to Orpheus Sat night for their Renaissance themed night.  Well, in the end, only Sexy K and I went.  But we had an awesome time.  She was in shiny black vinyl pants and lavender bustier covered in black lace.  There were many times throughout the evening that I was just about panting over her.  I wore my chainmail chemise with a black skirt.  We danced a heck of a lot, talked to some people, and flirted some, got flirted with and had an overall great time.  When we got home she decided to crash at my place.

I dragged myself out of bed at 11 to make sure she was up like she wanted.  Then we were watching TV and saw a commercial for Fridays and thought it sounded perfect.  So she called up the guy she is dating, I called up the Non-Virgin, and the couple I live with all decided to go to Fridays for lunch together.  I mostly wanted to go back to bed, but figured I couldn’t miss this opportunity and so we all went out and had a fantastic time together.

Afterwards, the Non-Virgin and I wanted to see Constantine but figured by the time we got out he wouldn’t get home until 6, so we went to Columbia Mall instead and walked around there.  We had a lot of fun and ended up not getting back until about 6 anyway.  Originally we were going into my bed to snuggle for a bit before he had to go and ended up having a truly raunchy forced sex scene, a first for me being from start to finish.  Very hot and sweaty and awesome.  Then of course we had to take showers and then he had to check email and cool down some.  It was about 7:30 when he got home.

I grabbed a snack, checked all of my email and then talked with Boston who WILL be here on the 12^th for the Fleamarket, yay!  Then I watched  Firefly episode, got sore muscles from using my massager on my shoulders (more tonight!) and crashed.  I also had yet another intense dream about saving the lives of fish.  No idea why I have those dreams.

Upon returning from Arisia, I figured I needed to relax and chill out for awhile.  Of course, that only goes so far.  I actually pretty much did manage to relax most evenings, however I planned a very busy weekend.  It was a special one with lots of time with me and the Non-Virgin since we’d been apart for two weekends and he would be going back to school afterwards.

First on Friday we met with Batgirl at Ascension to just meet and let her know we were normal and not psycho (generally) to let us do a waxplay at the Garden on Monday.  The club was ok, my heels need to be refreshed.  I wore my leather corset which never gets enough use and got my picture taken a lot which was fun. 

Saturday we actually split up so the Non-Virgin could finally get a reliable set of wheels and I did some window shopping.  The Non-Virgin came over later that evening and we enjoyed Taco Bell, British comedy and snuggling before preparing for the party.  I decided to wear a new skirt, hot pink and black plaid schoolgirl skirt and pigtails.  It’s rare I actually get into age play, as much as I like it.  This evening I wouldn’t really be doing any age play, but it felt nice to at least dress the part.  Some day my daddy will come…

 It was snowing and we got there early on.  We met up with J and another friend there.  J was under the impression that I was mostly there to be with Non-Virgin, which was true.  However, Non-Virgin and I had already talked and we knew it was likely we’d be playing with J too.  It was the Non-Virgins first public scene topping me and he did a rather good job of it, despite me being very cold.  He’s definitely a sadist and will make a damn fine dominant.

After we recouped from that, we got J into a nice flogging/spanking scene and had him REALLY high.  Non-Virgin was slightly jealous of it, but understands the benefits of topping.  We got home and crashed.  We awoke the next day and I convinced him to have sex and was able to orgasm while being on top, woohoo!

Sunday we probably should have rested, but we went around Laurel and did some looking around and shopping and such.  I was still getting over my Arisia cold and giving it to the Non-Virgin.  But eventually he had to go and I was left alone to finally watch Gladiator all the way through.  I didn’t really pay attention to the last 20 minutes, but I HAVE finally seen it through.

Monday we had planned to go to the Garden in DC and do a wax scene.  Unfortunately, the Non-Virgin was sick and I was tired but we had promised J an interesting scene (I’d mind fucked him into a very difficult headspace at this point) and I wanted to go considering all the crap I’d had to go through just to be allowed to do it.  So we drudge ourselves there and chilled.  We actually had a very good scene with J, and there was a nice crowd there.  I realized I still have anger issues over A and his crap.  We will see what’s to come of that.  However, by the time we got home, James was grumpy and I was tired and drained, of energy and enthusiasm.  I realized that I was burning myself down and no one was getting as much as they could.

I talked with the Owner about it and he suggested cutting back on doing things on Sunday, to just rest that day.  I thought this made sense and plan on getting that in place.  My car is having service done on it, which leaves me fairly broke for awhile, but at least it will be done.

Of course this weekend I’m relaxing right?  Well on Friday I have a birthday party for one of the Non-Virgin’s friends, Sat I am going to the Firefly munch and spending the night with J.  No plans yet Sunday- and looking to stay that way.

I’m tired, stressed, not sure of where things are headed, but I know I have to keep secure and let myself recoup.

Last Friday was hectic.  First Non-Virgin couldn’t drive me to the airport, and then he could, but then he heard the time wrong, sheesh.  Then, upon arriving at Logan, I realized Boston was NOT coming into the airport to get me and we did a bit of a wild good chase to find eachother in the freezing pick-up area- oh and of course I had forgotten to charge my phone and it was dead.  But once I was warmly in the car and calmed down, things were good. 
First we went to a café for a Poly munch.  I was a bit nervous with so many new people, but got settled in fast with a yummy ranch chicken wrap AND Boston allowed me to have a chocolate layer cake with a kiss on top.

We had some fun conversations and then we were off home.  We pried ourselves off of eachother to get into the hot tub, and then latched onto eachother again.  Back upstairs, we took things slow, but delicious. 
We awoke lazily in the morning with me offering to fix Boston breakfast in bed.  Unfortunately I had not planned much out and couldn’t make any cool stuff like you see on the Food Network, but toast, eggs and fruit seemed to do the trick.  I had my normal breakfast- a can of coke.

We showered together which was awkward but fun, and intimate of course.  Once we had updated our email, it was time to do some really weird stuff- CLEAN!  Now, Boston had said that he wanted to CLEAN OUT the toy closets.  I took this to mean thoroughly go through things, get rid of stuff you don’t want or use anymore and re-organize.

What he really meant apparently was to shift stuff from big messy piles into smaller organized piles.  I showed amazing restraint when he would continuously take something out, dust it off, and then place it right back into some empty space.  It was also really cold being in the garage in Boston in January and all.

Once that finished, I took a hot shower to warm up again and then we prepared for our night out.  The first layer was a green rope kadora (yay! Green rope for me!) which Boston thoroughly enjoyed putting me into.  Next was a silver pleated skirt and a black blouse, which was loose so as not to show the entire rope harness underneath, but the knot at the throat was quite prominent.  And, of course, my lovely black boots.

I convinced Boston to wear his leather pants out, and he looked totally sexy.  We left to go have dinner with a recent ex-sub of his and her new beau at a nicely authentic Mexican place.  I was a bit nervous about all that interacting energy, but the beau was absolutely endearing and a part of me enjoyed lust at first sight.  I could tell he was nervous and would enjoy getting to know him in a quieter, more relaxed setting.  The ex-sub was very fun and I was glad to be able to watch Bostons interaction with her and vice versa- they definitely shared something important together.  Unfortunately we could not continue the dinner forever and had to depart.

We arrived at the party an hour after the official start time but were still the first to arrive.  They had Vienna fingers so bonus points right off.  Once people started coming in and mixing, I stripped down to the kadora and enjoyed many compliments from it.  I also met a fem dom that Boston has played with and her date for the night and we were flirting and talking of playing almost right off.  Play started slowly as well, I was all ready to rock and roll but Boston was still talking to one of his infatuations.

Eventually we did get into some nice play.  Unfortunately neither of us was really connecting much that night and while he was able to get some good singletail practice in, it was more just an interesting experience.  Not all scenes can be rockets blasting.  After that scene I changed again into my leather bustier and had one of the male subs totally drooling and writhing on the floor around me (literally).  Then Boston’s fem dom’s date pulled me off and started a scene with me.  He said I could either scream like I was hurting badly on the first hit or he would hit me until I did scream that badly.  I obviously wasn’t going to fake a scream and open myself up to embarrassment, and I could tell he really wanted to hurt me, so I took that track.  We continued for a long time, apparently broke a cane on me twice.  I do not know if it was the strength of the swings or the previous scene with Boston, but their hits were not anywhere near as bad as the Owners.  Eventually they did have me crying and a bit overwhelmed at the end when he finally subsided.

Again, unfortunately, the fem dom got very upset at this point, which later I found out was because the date had gone more intensly than he said he would.  This made me angry at her inability to control herself until I was back together, at her dragging someone into their issues and simply not being responsible.  I was very upset about it, but by the time we got home and in the hot tub, I realized that it wasn’t my issue and I should simply take the good that I could from the evening.  They are likely to want to play again.  The Owner’s advice was to not bring it up and not feel pressured.  I would want to be open to playing again, but I would need some assurances that it would not be opening myself up to that again.  Not sure how to accomplish that.

We were exhausted by the time we arrived home and out of the hot tub and crashed.  We woke up the next day with some delicious fem on top action (god I love cock piercings) and then I showered and packed my stuff up.  We did some more garage work and then headed out to see Lemony Snicket.  I’d already seen it but it’s a funny silly movie and enjoyable.  It was snowing a bit on the way back and I was worried about my flight but not tremendously so.

Then it was time to go to the airport.  If anyone is going to Logan, if you’re flight is on C or D level, be prepared for a VERY long walk!!  The flight actually was on time in terms of getting seated, but then we waited for de-icer and such before we left.  We left the ground an hour after schedule, yet somehow made it only a half hour late to Baltimore.  Go figure.  Non-Virgin picked me up and I realized I had a headlight out in my car- yay.  We grabbed some food and snuggled a bit before I went home and crashed. 

Monday night instead of getting rested up from the weekend, I went out with the Non-Virgin to the grand opening of a new fetish night in DC.  Mostly because they were demoing a vac bed and the Non-Virgin loves that stuff.  The crowd was definitely younger and they only had one table to play on.  I had not brought my toys and in the end I was glad.  We did meet a few people, including the guy with the floggers from Orpheus who showed up with not only more floggers on his belt, but a whole case of toys too!  There was a boy with two singletails around his neck as a fashion statement.  And we met a couple named A & M.  They were a very interesting couple, he had quirky energy and she purred and chirped more than talked.  But they were fun and we got into some stuff together.  Unfortunately it being a work night I could not stay very late and as I was with the Non-Virgin they were just going to have to wait for another night.

Tuesday I forced myself to stay home and go to bed early.

Wednesday we had snow.  Instead of the Fleamarket/Swap I had been planning on going to, I made a date with A from Monday night.  We arrived at his apartment and did a lot of talking.  It was obvious he wanted to get intimate but wasn’t confident enough to just get into it much.  I decided I was up for fun so I took some moves and we eventually found ourselves naked in bed.  At this point we talk and I mention that my limits for new people were no unprotected sex, no permanent marks or damage and no blood.  He agreed so that and we were grinding against eachother.  Then, he pushes himself into me purposefully without a condom, pulls out and then puts one on.  I was fairly stunned at this and not quite sure what to do so I let things continue.  We discussed afterward.  He tried to justify it by saying he just needed to take that, but it soon became apparent that he had actually simply stolen from me and violated me with no justification.  I’m still working out what to do with him, other than make sure he suffers mentally from this as much as possible.

Tonight my dinner plans were cancelled which means I can be with the Non-Virgin and give him some much deserved love and affection (which I could enjoy myself).  Tomorrow I fly up to Boston with the Owner for the Arisia convention and big play party which will no doubt contain many adventures on its own.

This weekend, wow.  I THOUGHT I had been keeping things calm, not going out after work, relaxing, catching up on rest.  Of course?I need to realize that having a ?break? doesn?t mean you have to go at ?break neck speed.?  This weekend I actually pushed things right up to the edge of good fun.

I went home to eat and pack before going to the Non-Virgins on Friday.  His family usually does take-out or extra-carby stuff for dinner, which normally I love, but being on the south beach again doesn?t work for that.  I also got a few minutes to chill on my own- the only moments for the weekend it turns out.

The evening with the Non-Virgin was much fun as we continued to work on different positions and experiences for him.  We also discovered that while it?s possible for him to have an orgasm watching the Fairly Oddparents, it?s not possible for me to have an orgasm watching Full House.  After a final burst of fun, we went to bed.

And of course we had to wake up far too early.  I wanted to hit WalMart before we went to get J because they had white red and black matching sets of bras and panties with cute little chains on them.  $8 fetish undie sets!  Unfortunately of course, they do not carry 38D as a rule and ended up just getting a matching thong for a bra.  Then we drove down to J?s and watched a bit of Firefly before it was time to hit the Metro.  Here I had a mini-anxiety moment when multiple ATM machines had trouble reading my card.  However, at the mall everything was fine so I figure it was just them being stupid.

The Firefly munch was definitely fun, better than last time too!  A small enough crowd to not get lost in and everyone could see and talk to everyone else.  The food was overpriced but enough of it.  Everyone had a good time, but we were ready to leave before anyone else was. 

We drove back up to my place and the three of us watched a movie on the bed together.  This was quite delicious having the two of them squished against me.  I decided to skip the last part and shower and stuff for the club so we wouldn?t have to rush later.  Of course, instead of using that extra time to get ready?I ended up being pounced!  I can?t recall ever having such delicious attention from two lovely men at the same time.  As great as it was, it was also slightly self-conscious and I WANTED to give them some attention and let things go further.  I jokingly tried to get them naked, sigh, sadly they were too shy and unsure.  Perhaps one day!  In the end, since I knew I wasn?t going to orgasm, we let things simmer down and got dressed.  I wore my cute pink gingham, J wore black leather pants and cuffs and Non-Virgin wore his standard black dress shirt, slacks and shiny shoes.  We got to Orpheus at perfect timing with a few people there.  Once the energy got going, we all had a really good time.  J was absolutely into the music and we had a few hot dances including hair pulls.  Now that I have the lay of the land, we?ll have to see what I can do with him next time.  It was definitely a goth dance club, no play at all.  One of the guys had two floggers on his belt.  Anyone who wants to be taken as a serious player does NOT wear his floggers on his belt.  The Non-Virgin and I had some fun too but his stomach wasn?t feeling too well.  I spent most of the second half of the evening going between the two of them to chill and touch and have fun.  We definitely we return.

We left at about 1 and I was totally ready for more fun.  So I remembered we were close to the Double T and we headed there.  Yes, I totally splurged on some carbs, who can resist the smell of pancakes?  We had a great time chilling at the diner, eating weird foods at 1 am and talking about psychic phenomena (a nice change from J and Non-Virgins affinity for techie stuff and physics, which I can only follow to a certain level).  I love that they have such common ground, and one of the reason I wanted to bring them together was so they could form a friendship with eachother, but most of the time I just let them go on while I zone out on my own.  While we were at the Double T and a guy walked in with a floor length leather jacket with gorgeous buckles all the way down the front and detailing.  My jaw dropped.  I wanted to go over and admire it, but my shyness won out.

So we went home and crashed, J with me, Non-Virgin in the bed in the basement (isn?t he so wonderful for volunteering? He?s a natural for poly).  When I awoke the next morning (11, which was still too early) with J beside me, I was immediately turned on.  I woke him up (mostly) and got him ready too.  We definitely enjoyed some fun there.  We snuggled a bit and then I went down to wake up Non-Virgin.  Then we enjoyed more fun together.  There?s definitely a great part of me that loved being with two separate people not in a threesome so soon together.  I snuggled back in with J and then we all got showered, checked email (a necessity) and then headed out to gaming.  First was a stop to the grocery store for snackage and lunch.  They both got sushi- ew.

We arrived at gaming only a half hour late, WOOHOO!  We started a game that involved creating settlements and gathering resources.  I unfortunately was left to do not much but make a road or two, but the Non Virgin totally cleaned up!  This took a few hours but we decided to go ahead and do a round of Beer Money (the adult version of Lunch Money) afterwards.  We were getting to the end of our energy (specially poor J who had to sit next to a very energetic and slightly overbearing player and J has not learned how to block himself out well yet).  J and I really wanted to hot tub (recreation of our first date), but Non Virgin was a bit shy and so we headed home.  First to the Non Virgins to give J a DVD and then to Js. 

Finally me at home, with some time to chill.  A few days to relax and then it?s fly up to Boston to see my sweetie there.

I have a lot to digest from this weekend.  The mistakes and overlooks that were made, the successes and happiness, the way to manage and how to get things going ahead.  It?s not easy plotting the lives of so many people!  I?m sure I can handle it though.

Another update?  Before we went out, the Owner and I made dinner, a baked brie with raspberry jam, almonds covered in a pastry, and oyster stew.  New Years Eve was pretty awesome, I looked awesome, the crowd was awesome.  For the casino night, the Owner earned money above the table and I earned money under the table (and anywhere else I could crawl and beg from).  New Years watching on a 4 inch mini-tv was surreal (someone didn't think to get the hotel to set up a tv). 

Play- was intense.  I had just started my period and I think that affected things.  I did real needle play for the first time, and still have some marks from the evening.  But it was more of a mental pushing scene than physical.  The Owner said he enjoyed it. 

Woke up late the next morning and got showered and headed up to my place to pack for the rest of the day.  I had wanted to hit the hotel by 2 so as not to miss all the good vending and fun, but I could NOT find my satin gloves anyway (still MIA too) and had to spend a half hour pinning my dress together right.  So by the time I got the Non-Virgin and got there, it was almost 4. 

This turned out not to be a bad thing as the vending consisted only of clothes vendors (and I rarely buy fetish stuff off the rack, not enough variety and prices are way too high).  The movie marathon was empty, as was the public sex room.  So we made ourselves comfy there.  Damn my period!  The Non-Virgin and I were getting comfy as another couple came in.  We enjoyed what we could, a lot of snuggling and he got me off with his hands, which was nice.  Then we left them alone to grab a snack.  We returned to change, me in black and rhinestones, including a traditional wedding bindi which everyone loved but couldn't quite understand that it was just a stick-on thing.

Dinner was very ummmmm disappointing.  The food tasted well enough, but for 25 you expect a nice appetizer dinner and dessert.  We had to pay for drinks and dessert was only strawberry shortcake.  It was nice eating not only with the Owner and his Boston sub, but new friends as well.

Afterwards, the music was annoying and the Non-Virgin wasn't feeling well so we went to the play area to chill.  I tied him down to a bed and started to play with him.  I got him going pretty good with a paddle and flogger.  When I started on the singletail, the Owner came over.  I handed the singletail to him since I figured the Non-Virgin deserved some nice swats instead of my hesitant practice shots.  It turned into the Owner and the Boston sub working the Non-Virgin over VERY WELL!  I had thought I had worked him over well, but apparently it was just a warm up.  The Non Virgin loved it and really didn't want it to stop (so you know we did it right).

Afterwards there was the introduction of everyone, which was nice to watch, but terribly badly timed and really messed up the dancing.  The DJ was hot and cold, I danced some, including once with the Owner.  Then the Non-Virgin wasn't feeling well so we went home early.

The next day J was dropping his family off at the airport so I went and got him.  The three of us went out to lunch at Don Pablos YUM.  Then we went to see Darkness, my first regretful move of 2005.  Then we went to Home Depot and had fun checking stuff out.  I took us back to the Non-Virgins to play some DDR and we watched tv until it was time to take J home. 

When I got there he asked me to stay with him and just hang out awhile.  I was surprised but then realized it was his first time home alone in over a week.  Of course I said yes and we watched some Firefly and then got a little intimate.  I made him feel some better and then said goodnight.

On the day home I talked to Boston and we arranged that I would come and see him NEXT weekend all alone AND see him the next weekend for Arisia.  YAY! 

Since then, mostly blahness.  I think its drop from the intense scene I had with the Owner.  Started south beach again and its been about as expected.  I turned down going to the Black Rose meeting and skipped the BESS meeting this week.  Ive got a fun-filled weekend planned at least- if I can get my head out of darkness.  Maybe it was the movie?

A response to the question: What do you do about jealousy in relationships (poly specific)?

It depends on how much experience everyone has, what the situation is, and what your options are.  Have you read the Ethical Slut?  That can be an immense help atp utting a lot of ideas together in workable ways.

Obviously starting out, TALK TALK TALK.  There is NO TOLERANCE for hiding things, pushing things away, and lying.  If it doesn't catch up to you today, it WILL catch up to you in a month. 

Normally in Ds poly you have two sides- the established relationship and the newcomer.  The newcomer is happy, but worried.  She has a lot of history and establishment she's coming into.  She wants to feel welcomed, but doesn't want to get lost or ganged up on.

The established relationship wants to try a new mix, wants to be happy with new people, but is going to have to relearn how to work while maintaining the solidarity that you had before.  This isn't just adding a side of fries to your meal, it's adding a new person to your life.  There might also be pressure from other "friends" that this new person is obviously just trying to break you up.

This boils down to being totally honest.  What type of poly do you want, a family? friend? lover? will you both be able to have independent relationships?  What will you do when someone goes out of town? what about sex? What needs to be kept "special"?

Some of these answers you should have a fairly good grasp of before you go out looking and others will simply come in time and experience.  Your answers might also change over time.

What does this have to do with jealousy?  70-80% of all jealousy comes from not knowing and not being secure in the relationship you have.  This is eliminated by clear communication, clear intent and clear expectations.

Next- EXPECT jealousy.  EXPECT that your strong world will sometimes fall apart and you will feel lonely, rejected and as if something else is taking it away from you.  Once you realize that it's GOING to happen, you can stop wasting time geeling guilty about experiencing it.  Communicate it of course, but remember that (given that everyone is being a mature adult) everyone is working towards a fulfilling relationship for everyone. 

Sort out priorities.  Poly relationships are ALL about deciding what is priority, when and how.  The better your sort them out, the more you can understand how everyone else has to sort them out, but the better you can deal with an immediate situation.  Take the time to figure out your jealousy at the moment, and then figure how it fits into the long term picture- tomorrow? next week?  a year?  Sometimes it's best to just let it go.  Sometimes its best to talk it out (you talk a LOT in the beginning and then you keep talking a LOT throughout).

Remember that everyone in their own way is dealing with the same issues you are- trying to work together.  We all have lives, we all have our sensitivies, our losses, our responses, our illusions, our condemnation, our celebrations and more.  Fitting them together into a whole is never smooth.  But, if it is truly how everyone will feel fulfilled, and if it is a good balance between everyone, it can work, and work very happily.

Goodness, it being the end of the year and all I guess I should make some sort of posting.
Christmas was very nice.  Turns out my special gift was what I get every year- PJs on Christmas eve.  When my mom told me she had NOT gotten the velvet chemise and robe I had requested as it was ?too trashy? I was somewhat concerned.  But she did great in getting me a long red satin robe instead! 
Family was very nice as well, it was an extended weekend of family time really, including with the Virgin?s family.  All went very well with AMAZINGLY tons of food, including lamb, venison, ham, turkey, mashed potatoes, potato pancakes, potatoes with green beans, au gratin potatoes, rice and beans, cheese and crackers, crab dip, asparagus, cheesy veggies, rum yule log cake with chocolate ganache, pumpkin pie, apple pie, blueberry pie, and MORE.
My cousin adored her dress and it fit perfectly thank goodness and I got a ton of Borders gift cards which all went to the rest of the Anita Blake vampire hunter novels.
Oh, and the Virgin is now the Non-Virgin.  Merry Christmas.
Work was very dull all week and I was in a slump early on.  Then of course the Owner and I had some yucky issues.  Nothing serious but it?s always sucky when there?s misunderstandings and anger.  More importantly, I wanted things to get patched up before our New Years event!  It?s the first time we?ve been out to an event just him and I in a VERY long time.  But, we did, and had a great time going to two strip clubs in the middle of the week.
Tonight is the big casino/play party with just the Owner and I.  He plans a harsh scene which I am both very scared of and deeply anticipating.  Tomorrow his Boston sub comes down and there?s a full day of fun followed by a catered dinner and formal dance and play party with all of us together.  I am still debating wearing the green formal gown I bought especially for this event, but did not have the extra to get tailored like it needs.  It will depend on how easily and nicely I can take it in with pins on the side myself.
Oh goodness, new year.  Some people are thrilled, some people are depressed.  I?m fairly neutral about it becoming 2005.  I?m happy.

This weekend- Boston.  But not for the DNC.

Got my geek on at the Science Museum!

Spandex body suit bondage, forced orgasms, more hot tub, sleeping in cuffs, and got to enjoy a human feline and some nice practice at topping.

Why can't every weekend be so full?

Tips from Liz!

On pleasing a woman between her thighs...

This is tender stuff!  Think of it as one step below the kidneys.  Yes, you can flog it and hurt it and penetrate it in all sorts of nasty ways.  But it's very sensitive, very soft.  Nails should be trim and short, slow and steady builds up to hard and forceful.

No one starts thrusting away right away into a pussy or ass- at least, unless they don't want bleeding and screaming and be able to use it again the next day.

Don't try and use the thumb on the clit.  You can't gauge the pressure well and direct pressure on top of and under the clit is generally not pleasureable.  Better to use tongue, or grab a dildo and use fingers.

Don't rub like a rack of ribs.  Legs spread means we do dry out, no matter how wet we get.  Rubbing with a flat palm up and down is just irritating and drying.  The hand should move no more than 3 inches in any direction- it's all right there.  

Be careful rubbing around the urethra.  A rare few women really get off on that- but mostly it just makes peeing burn afterwards.  Keep to the inside of the vagina.

The bottom third of the vagina is where the sensations and nerves are mostly located- the rest is just pressure.  Think pushing 80 fingers inside is hot and nice?  Maybe for you.  While more fingers and even fisting can be incredibly intense- don't push it.  Focus more on the overall pleasure, not "more is better."

Oral- teeth is bad, just like it is for you.  You're also not trying to suck it off.  Start slow (as always) and focus.  Don't stop and start- don't keep changing rhythms every 30 seconds.  Get in a comfy position and plant yourself.  If you can- 2 fingers inside is also good.  Again, steady rate and pressure.

Don't have "wandering fingers" into an asshole.  To go into an anus, it has to be prepared right with lube (it's not a vagina, and a finger into a pussy is NOT enough lube to make it a good idea).  As well, trust me, the chick KNOWS where you are headed and it only makes her tense up.  If you want anal- plan for it, tell her, lube her up and then ease in.

Anal can NOT be stressed enough to go slow and steady in the beginning.  I'm not saying this just to make it more pleasant for everyone, the anal tissue tears easily and bruises.  Lots of lube and going slow at first allows it to become accustomed to an unnatural action.  Trust me, banging it hard into the ass is awesome, but not at the first stroke.  Also, stroking the clit at the same time can work wonders.

As well, your first stroke should be paused- give the anus time to adjust, the intensity tends to rise in the ass and a few breaths should be taken first- there's no rush here, they are not going anywhere.  Take the time to grab/bite their neck, rub their clit, whisper in their ear...something sensual.

Don't go from anus to pussy/mouth. 

Finally, if you WANT her to cum, you have to LET her cum.  Forcing it, pressuring it, making her feel like she's letting you down or won't have as good a time leads to faking it and insecurity (trust me...it happens).  I suggest making her masturbate first to her own orgasm so you can see how her breathing goes, what her "right" rhythm is, what pressure points work and how she really sounds/moves when she cums.

Go ahead and torture the genitals all you want- but respect it's tenderness too.

Break Away- By Big Pig

All my life I've wanted to fly
Like the birds that you see way up in the sky
Making circles in the morning sun
Flying high in the sky 'till the day is done.

I can't break away

Like a child in his fantasy
Punching holes in the walls of reality
All my life I've wanted to fly
But I don't have the wings and I wonder why

I can't break away

One is one
Two is two
You are me and I am you
Black is black and
White is white
Just come down in the middle
Tween day and night

I can't break away

Well mama told me when I was young
Stand tall girl you're number one
She said you can be what you wanna be
But you can't change the course of your destiny

I can't break away

Father Figure by George Michael

Dirty pop

I'm sick and tired of hearing all
These people talk about
What's the deal with this pop life
And when is it gonna fade out?
The thing you got to realize
What we're doing is not a trend
We've got the gift of melody
We're gonna bring it till the end
(Come on now)

It doesn't matter
Bout the car I drive or what I wear around my neck
All that matters
Is that you recognize that it's just about respect
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why
All that matters
Is that you get hype and we do it to you every time
(Come on now)

Do you ever wonder why
This music gets you high
It takes you on a ride
You feel it when your
Body starts to rock
(Body starts to rock)
And baby you can't stop
(You can't stop)
And the music's all you got
(Come on now)
This must be pop

Dirty pop
Baby, baby you can't stop
I know you like this dirty pop
This must be

Now why you wanna try to classify
The type of thing that we do?
Cause we're just fine doing what we like
Can we say the same for you?
Tired of feeling all around me animosity
Just worry about yours cause I'm a get mine
Now people can't you see?

It doesn't matter
Bout the car I drive or the ice around my neck
All that matters
Is that you recognize that it's just about respect
It doesn't matter
About the clothes I wear and where I go and why
All that matters
Is that you get hype and we do it to you everytime
(Come on)

Do you ever wonder why
(Why)
This music gets you high
(Gets you high)
It takes you on a ride
You feel it when your
Body starts to rock
(When your body starts to rock)
And baby you can't stop
(You can't stop)
And the music's all you got
(Baby come on)
This must be pop

Ooh...
Man I'm tired of singin'...

Dirty dirty dirty pop