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Every now and again you meet a Dom that breaks you from the inside but they are rare and few and far inbetween. Last night, I met that Dom. Although we wouldn't work in the long run, he did something that I truly needed... he broke me by challenging my way of thinking but then showed me a light at the end of the tunnel.
I was in a 10 year Master/slave relationship that turned into abuse. Because of that abuse, any kind of TPE just gave me PTSD. I ran from it and hid in the softer dynamic of DD/lg. I associated "Master" with coldness, cruelty, and demanding compliance without appreciation. But the thing that I've been running from is the thing that I need the most. That a true Master nourishes, protects, supports, uplifts and gives his love, his time, his devotion and his strength to what is his. The structure he creates, the decisions he makes, the rules he forms, are all based around giving her a calm in the storm. A shelter that allows her to be what she needs and have what she craves in order to thrive. That a true Master's desire for TPE is based out of love for what he owns and not to just merely control, but to truly own a woman in all that she is.
This is what I wanted from the beginning, what I eventually hid from... but no matter how long I hid and refused to accept it, sometimes it takes a strong, intelligent man to see through you... the way a Master should.
Something to note:
I am a BBW, and although I am working on my weight, I'd like to be with someone thats going to love me for who I am regardless while still helping me reach my goals.
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