|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hello, Im looking for a Mentor and possibly a long-term relationship should I meet the right guy.
Seems I must add another note here... READ THIS BEFORE you waste both our time by sending a message if you do not fit what I need. I am NOT a slave and am quite used to being the one to do everything as a single mother. Please take this into account.
I know the paragraph below may seem harsh and rude to some of you, but please give it some thought before you pass me over because of it.
I have talked with more than enough fake Domly Doms and I would like to talk with a mature, grown man. A man that is secure in himself and has no need to play these childish games. I have a 22yr old son so trust me, boys I can see through the teenage games fairly fast thanks to my son and his buddies.
Before we go further in this little get to know me a bit...heres a really important thing......I am NOT seeking OLDER MEN! (older as in 65 and up) Im in my Late 30s... I am looking for someone in their mid-30s to 50s! (Of course.... exceptions may be made if you were to approach me in a respectful and nice manner) ALSO.... head games, lies, bullshit, and games PISS ME OFF.
Yep, I tend to be a bit bratty at times. I do not consider myself a true brat as breaking the rules intentionally, seeking punishments and being spiteful are not my thing. I do see myself mostly as a submissive. Im not a slave or a doormat. I am a single mother and have a life to live which you will have to fit into. So save yourself some typing and please dont waste my time. I am only looking for REAL people who are honestly interested in either actual friendships or an actual, real (ya know... like face to face, with someone Close to MY AGE type deal) Relationship (Ds would be a possibility). (close to my age can be 35ish to 60 ish IF you are not a crude person in messages)
Anywhooo...
Those that dont know me.....Hello and please feel free to message (be respectful please), friend request or click favorites as you wish.
I tend to be rather Gothic in my tastes in art and music.
Im a sassy, sarcastic, and at times a bit of a brat. I can be prone to bouts of stubbornness, with a bit of a kitten twist tossed in (not a pet, however. I just love to claw, scratch, bite and I do like to wear tails and ears at times just because.).
If you browse my pics you can see Im not a skinny pole. I dont hate my body, but Im not loving all the extra curves either. I am working to get in better shape for my health, to be able to do the more physically demanding rope suspensions and to keep up with the smallish human that runs me ragged every day.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Music. At times its Progressive Trance mixes, I listen to a lot of off the beat music too. Gothic metal is another favorite. (Think Evanescence, Within Temptation, Leaves Eyes, Nightwish, Lacuna Coil and Paramore.) Along with Symphonic metal...and some of the lesser know Cello based tunes are awesome. There is not much (if any) Rap I like. Pop is cool sometimes and I can like country, but its no longer a love. It really all depends on my migraines and what my head can handle for sound frequencies and volume along with my mood.
A few more of my major interests are reading fantasy and erotica, learning more about the Kinks Im into or curious about. I dont consider myself to be shallow and Ill be friends with just about anyone as long as they are good people by my standards and treat me right. I do enjoy writing when the words want to come, so check out my journal. DONT BE AN ASS AND STEAL IT AS YOUR OWN WORK, HOWEVER.
Sexually, however, my tastes are a bit more refined..not saying GQ model standards here or anything but I would like my partner to be close in age to me, more on the slender-fit side or at least in somewhat decent shape (however washboard abs are freaking drool-inducing) and Long hair is a MAJOR HUGE turn on for me. This is certainly NOT a must have, but its what makes me drool and definitely go oh WOW, HOT.
It might be a good idea for me to find a Mentor and a Play partner (or two) until I have learned more and feel ready for a Ds type relationship.
What I want right now is a Relationship that fits my life. A relationship where compromise is possible when needed, that I am free to be my submissive, playfully, bratty, sarcastic self yet not expected to lose who I am and give up the voice I have become so fond of in my life.
So basically BDSM in the bedroom and more of a vanilla type relationship. Maybe...Im really not certain and probably wont know until I meet the right guy...Could that be you?
I love to meet new friends, I am here to find ination, to ask questions and find out what is possible in this Lifestyle. Ive already found some things that are major limits for me...hard limits.
I know many think Fifty Shades of Grey brought many of us newer to LS in, however...
Yes, I did read Fifty Shades No, That is not what opened my eyes to the scene.
So what did? Me....looking at the handful of totally failed and rather lacking, (both physically and emotionally) relationships that I have dealt with in the yrs since my divorce. None made me happy for very long. None left me feeling like I was wanted, cared for or really desired that much. Sex was fairly good in one, but the others.....ya......no. I dont think I can count the times I hit orgasm with both hands. So I started searching my soul, my thoughts, desires, what turns me on, Ect Ect Ect and started doing some research. Ill save You the boring crap and if you really want to know, just ask. But here I am.
|
|
|
|
|
So far in the almost two years I've been looking for a real, serious Dom that I can train with and hopefully continue into a long-term collared relationship.... I have met with one Dom who was true to his every word and did not try to fuck with my God damned head. I am not looking for a play toy! I do not want to be a fucking toy! And I may be a submissive, but I will not put up with head games. I need and want a real, committed Dom willing to train me |
|
|
|
|
Shadows and Masks
Is this the real me, the true to myself 100% authentic me?
Who's to say but me.
I say what you see is part me, part shadows and part masks.
We all do it, we all wear the masks. We all show our true self in the shadows and let the light only shine on parts we want seen.
Why do we as humans do this? I can't say why you or him or her do it.
What I can tell you is why I do it.
I wear the masks to look stronger then I feel, to seem like I'm capable, confidant. Like I have it all together.
Why do I do this?
Because I want to belong, I want to fit in somewhere.
Because I have people in powerful places watching me and if I show them the truth of what I'm feeling, how I'm REALLY handling the stress...They might take away something precious to me. Someone precious, well two someone specials really.
So I play the game, I wear the masks, use the shadows to hide the things I don't want in the light.
All the while...That mask....is stealing my air.
The shadows I hide in are pressing on my chest till it feels like I can never take a true deep breath of cleaning air to fully inflate my starving lungs.
I tell someone I call "friend" that I'm fighting hard, but I need a hand. A little help please just to do this one hard thing that a second body would make so much simpler. They tell me to my face "sure, I can help. I'm glad you asked. It's no problem at all". Then I wait..........and text them............and wait more. They never show so I do this alone.
Always I end up alone
But I'm not alone in the shadows, I have my masks.
Cold, Hard, Uncaring, carved things that they are....
Dark Angel
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| |
|
|
| |
| Age: 30 |
| Brooklyn,
New York |
|
|
|
| |
