Well, its Cyber Monday!  I'm selling vintage LPs, Matchbox/Hot Wheels, books, DVDs, tech and stuff in my eBay collections (-:
http://www.ebay.com/cln/missingpieces4u


And I also have a discrete 'gurls store' on Amazon with all the makeup, dresses, shoes, lingerie and accessories any gurl would want, at great prices! (-:
http://astore.amazon.com/samanthasboutique-20

Dilemma. i need to move this week out of the ex-GFs, as soon as my van cums out of the shop.  i have found a place, the owners uncle lives there but is only there 5am-noon weekdays.  So its ideal for living my life more 'gurled' afternoons/evenings/night.  BUT, they have no idea i am trans.  And its in just about the worst part of Nashua, in the 'tree streets', Vine, where its mostly Spanish, that i don't speak.  When i went there to see it, the owner was out front with a bunch of Hispanic women asking him if his security cam had seen an incident out front the night before!  REALLY a dangerous area.  One of my current neighbors here even offered to sell me an illegal gun to keep with me!! Ugh.  But i have to be out, gotta go.

Now, a friend here is starting to look for a place down in Cambridge, but its not soon enough for my deadline, but may be a solution later. :-) i'm not sure my car will pass inspection in Mass though, but it may once out of the shop.  And i could be wholly me there. :-)

A black guy i met on is moving from NYC to Keene.  He's up here now to find a place to rent.  He's willing to take me in as a slave, which i'd willingly do, for a place to live.  HAS to be much safer from the outside world at least, than the 'trees' of Nashua.  And if He finds a place this week, i could go there directly and get out by my deadline.  But i've never lived as a slave before.

My head is just so swimmingly confused.  Not sure what to do.  i may keep my rental car for another day and go out to Keene and spend the night with my black Dom to see if we work.

i can be Your Thanksgiving feast!
Alone for Thanksgiving? Me too! (not alone is fine too :-) Looking to be someone's guest/maid/butler/slave/gurl/guy or EVEN the kinkiest trussed-up turkey You've EVER seen on Your Turkey table! You can actually put me up on the table, hooded and hogtied nicely as a centerpiece! ;-D i can be a meal for You or many! i can cook and serve Your meal, then serve You! i can cum for the day or the day before, stay until Friday or longer! Your choice, You rule! i can be at Your feet, sucking You or Your buddies, while You watch the games. Let me serve!

Gonna be at Leather and Lace in Seabrook this evening.  Wanna suck some cock!  Not sure if i'll be in gurl mode or guy.  Depends on whether i find a place to chane out there.  Either way, i'll be in the booths sucking!

My first gay/bondage/torture experience

My first gay/bondage experience was as a hetro 20 something, just out of college.  No GF, alone in the Boston suburbs.  Had been reading the Boston Phoenix and become fascinated by the sex culture of Boston.  The only gay or slave experience i had had up to that point was over the phone hypnosis from a man in a Compuserve chat group.  He had asked if i was gay, i said no, He said He knew otherwise and demanded i call Him to find out.  He phone-hypnoed me and awakened and controlled something i didn't know was there...

He was not from the area, so He placed a hypno command in me to respond to a local Phoenix sex ad and submit to a gay ad there, no matter what.  i got the next paper and the first ad i hit was not just for a gay experience, but for a gay slave.  i didn't think i could just be with someone gay yet, voluntarily, i'd have to be forced, so this seemed right.  So i called in and left a message with a definite scared tone to it, but i had no choice.  He called back almost immediately, hearing my scared, submissive tone, realized He had the right target to snatch up.  The speed of His response SO unnerved me, but i went into that nervous stupor again and said yes to everything.  It could have been so much more incremental and easier, but i just kept saying yes to everything, no matter i had never done any of it or how weird it seemed.

He knew He had to act fast, while i hadn't had time to process the absurdity of it all.  He demanded i cum NOW, get into a gay waif's clothing of a u-shirt, short shorts and sneakers.  No socks, no underwear, no id, just car keys.  They all would be held to insure compliance.

Despite ALL the warning bells going off, i traveled to Boston, stood on the corner i was commanded.  A man drove up, opened the door of His car, i just got in without a thought.  i was so scared/confused, i went numb and just followed His commands.  He had me put on a blindfold and lay down across the seat with my head in His lap, so i wouldn't be seen.  We drove for i don't know how long, into a dark place.  He led me out and up into His place.  i had no idea where i was!  i was totally lost and helpless, at His mercy, or lack thereof.  What had i done??

He now stripped off my waif clothes and trussed me up spread-eagle across the entrance archway of His kitchen.  i had no idea what was happening, i thought it would just be sex.  It was far more.  As He grabbed each wrist and ankle, i wanted to fight back and resist, but my mind would not defend my body.  i gave in to all, realizing it was too late for any resistance.  i was His, to do with as He pleased.  He then described how He was going to attach electrical connections to me and send me to places i had never been!  He said i would 'likely' survive.  What??  But in any case i would LOVE/fear it all. 

He tortured/stimulated me forever, with all sorts of electrical probes/devices!  Brought me up, took me down, caressed and hurt me.  Time and time again.  After a while, He rubbed His body across me, sharing the voltage i was exposed to.  i could feel His cock getting harder and harder thru His clothes.  He even got up on a chair in front of me and made me suck my first cock!  i just obeyed and did as i was told, out of fear.  This was too far beyond what i had bargained for.  i just wanted to go home.  But i DID love sucking His cock!

Feeling how i was loving that, i think sent Him over the edge.  He came around behind me, slid His cock between my cheeks and demanded to know if i'd ever been fucked.  i had so LITTLE resistance left, but i said i NEVER had been fucked and cried i didn't think i could handle it and BEGGED Him not to!  All i heard back was the whine of electricity building up and then a SHOCK _ALL_ over my body, SO much more than ANYthing i had felt previously!  My entire body convulsed and spasmed and shook and pained EVERYwhere, all at once!  i felt Him move and suddenly i pitched forward, straining my restraints!  In my total electro-pain, i could feel nothing else but a haze of electricity, as i think i passed out...

He used me as the object i was and now still am.  By the end, i was Bi and a life long slave.  i awoke, hanging from the supports like a dead rag doll.  My anus hurting like hell and was dripping wet.  i had lost my virginity with no choice or knowledge.  He let me down, dressed me like the exhausted rag doll i was and dumped me back where my car was, in a dark and empty garage.

i was SO horrified... and happy!

i'll be performing in my gold lame dress at Club 313 in Manchester tonight! Take me home with You! :-D

Heading to Club 313 in Manchester tonight!  i can truly be the gurl i wanna be there.  Went there last week and had an awesome time!  So many friendly folk, all very accepting.  he heck with vanilla, make mine pistachio swirl!

Oh, i SO want to be someone's bitch this week/weekend!

i can host or stay with You to serve day and night, from Wed(7/3) to Fri(7/12)!  Vacation!

From Wed-Mon (3/27-4/1) i've got the house to myself!  i can spend almost a whole week dressed up ALL the time!  i'm in Heaven!  And its par-tay time! :-D Anyone want to cum bi or i can cum to You for as loong as You want.  Try me out as a slave, locked up over night or all day!

Anyone know of anyone need a roommate or live-in slave/servant?  i need to move to something that is non-vanilla tolerant and friendly.  Would like to move in the next 2 weeks.  Can relocate!  Thanks.

Back from Florida!  i brought the warm weather with me! (ok, the high winds i didn't count on, sorry ;-)

REALLY looking to move into a kink-friendly environ.  Willing to swap my freedom to do so.  Would be a SO willing slave of either sex, virtually NO limits.  Take care of You in either female or male guise.  My aim is to please, whatever the cost.  Please let me try!

OR just a regular roommate sitch.  That's cool too.

Feeling sensual today.  Can host this weekend!  As guy or gurl. ;-)

Another no-show.  What is it with Dommes? They are more scared than us subs who accept our fate.  Use me,and they run.  Jerk offs.

Can host during the day in Nashua this week! (5/21-5/25)  Guy or gurl mode.  i love to suck and be fucked!  Hypnoed to obey too. :-)

This corset is killing me!  Someone shove a cock in me pleeease?  Then i won't notice. :-) (at this point, You can cum here or i will drive there, i am desperate!)

All dressed up and no one to suck or fucked bi!  Someone tonight?

Will be house sitting in New Ipswich 4/19-24.  Can host there or cum from there. :-)

The fake profile thing just gets worse.  _9_ 23 yos 'looked' at my profile yesterday, from ALL over the country, between 1:30pm and 9:30pm. (sorry, 23yos weren't after me, even when i _was_ 23!)  They ALL were 'last on' at 1:07pm today!!!  All 9 logged in at the same time??  Someone has a bot of some kind running!  CM has been hacked.

Man, CM has become FULL of fake profiles, always 21-23yo women with 1 pic and no profile to speak of, from way far away.  (last one was from Rhode Island (100 miles away), yet it said it was _1434_ miles away! (another RI? ;-)  They 'visit' your profile once somehow and I'm supposed to think i should correspond with them??  Who are they really?  Spammers, somehow getting something out of a look back?  CM itself, trying to generate activity? (you really need to target better then! i don't WANT young women! lol)  Or misguided law enforcement? (talk about waste of taxpayers money)  Becoming more of an aggravation!

My alter ego and i are looking for a roommate sitch!  Looking for someone with a room to rent.  Looking for a tranny-friendly place to be me, both of me! ;-)  But in guy-mode, You'd never know, definitely a regular guy mode.

i'm a great roommate, neat and interesting.  i like to cook and You'll love what i cook.  Share chores too and i usually tech-update where i go, getting the most from Your computer, TV and such! (its what i do for a living, out-Geeking the Geeks! ;-)

Really open to who i room with, i find everyone interesting!  It could be a best friends kind of thing, 2 (or more) buds.  Could be two girl friends, helping each other be the most we can be.  Mixed gender as well, all my female friends enjoy my company, either way.  All can be completely plutonic or more.  I can even Dom/Domme if you are interested in that. 

That said, would REALLY like to find a sub/slave sitch, so i could REALLY dive into my inner yearnings.  Disappear into Your world, serving and obeying on a 24/7 bassis, for Your advantage and enhancement.  By Your command!  :-)

Let's talk?

My First Public Exhibition

There used to be fetish parties up in Notingham NH loooong ago.  i went on  my own and it was amazing.  Kind of had a center 'exhibition' area, where slaves were tied/bound up for show.  i was so turned on and there was an empty cross-like thing. 

i had my hand up near the cuff, imagining what it was like and someone slid up my back behind me and whispered, 'would you like to see what it feels like for an hour?'  i had tried to pull my hand away in shock, but  he had held it lightly in place.  i wanted to say 'no thanks' but couldn't speak and found my head going up and down!  He put the wrist cuff on and i was stuck! Next, he grabbed my other wrist, cuffed it and he put a hood over my head to protect my identity.  i was wondering why i needed that? 

And then he removed my pants and shorts!  Then my ankles were attached to a spreader bar, to show me off!  (guess this is when i got hooked on these 3 items :-)  Then i was left there. 

i could hear people going bi, looking at the 'exhibits'... and i was ONE of them!  i could hear a little bit, thru the hood.  'Can I touch him?' 'Can we...' (missed the rest on that one) 'Sure, he's new, but go ahead.'  Then i felt a hands caressing my butt; tweaking my alternating hard and soft (when i was scared) cock and nipples; running thru my chest hair and an occasional WHACK to the rear!  Once a long nailed finger found my lips at the hood mouth hole and made its way down my throat!  i heard 'Oh what a gooood boi!' for not gagging!  Oh i was in fear's heaven!

i was up there for what seemed like forever!  Every few minutes a new sensation from someone, as i stood there helpless and listening, listening.  It was like they say when you lose a sense, the others pick up!  i felt woozy and drunk, yet i'd had nothing that i know of that day... though i DID have some free punch offered me... maybe it was spiked and that's why i succumbed so easily?

Whatever.  At the end of 'only' an hour, i was released and collapsed to the floor.  i was SO exhausted!  They asked if i was ok and i breathed out a raspy, 'oh yeah!' :-)  i was soooo ok!  As i walked around again. i had hoped that someone would approach, wanting to use me more, but nothing else 'came'.  But as i drove the long drive home, i was soooo glad _i_ 'came'! ;-)

My Mother's Favorite Story About Me

Ever have one of those foldup attic stairways in your house?  Some of my dad's porn was up there. 

i used to sneak up after school when i was latch-key for a couple of hours before my mom got home.  i was worried she'd catch me one time, so i pulled up the stairs behind me. (1st entrapment exhilaration i guess, thought i couldn't push them back DOWN! lol) Went and looked at the porn in a suitcase.  Most of the attic joists were covered in old doors for a semi floor.  Went to go back down, slipped off the last door, between that and the folddown stairs and my leg went thru the ceiling below!!
Now i was stuck up to my crotch! My leg hanging down in the playroom, in full view out the front windows!  i couldn't move!  My arms weren't strong enough to lift my torso up and extract my leg. (i was a skinny runt of 131 pounds! lol)  My mom was due home anytime soon!  i finally had to push the stairs down with my arms, then i could get my errant leg onto the stairs, kick down the foldup, so i could actually push against the stairs and lift myself up bi climbing the stairs ONE-LEGGED!  Between that and my arms, i FINALLY got my leg out!

Collapsed in the attic, then i realized there was a HUGE HOLE TO DEAL WITH!  Tried to push the ceiling sheetrock back up, to no avail.  Raced to the basement (my dad was a shop teacher) and grabbed... masking tape! (we were a masking tape family, not a duck tape family ;-)  Raced back up and taped the sheetrock back in place from above, so the tape wouldn't show!  How inventive of me!  MacGyver before Macgyver!

Job done, i folded the stairs back up and tried to compose myself.  Mom would be back any sec!  i told myself, i just have to stay cool and calm and she'd NEVER notice.  Just be cool, dude and you're home free...

She walks in... "i'm sorry, i'm sorry!!  i didn't mean to do it!" i blurted out!  Oh yeah, Mr. Cool. X-(  Oy!

She goes into the playroom... "You thought I wouldn't notice THAT?!?" as she pointed to the footlong cracks in the ceiling plaster!  "Good THING you confessed, you REALLY would have been in trouble then!"

Yet this story had a happy ending.  It gave my mother her FAVorite story to tell about me...  "the time Tom put his foot thru the ceiling looking for Xmas presents in the attic!"  That's right.  Before i could tell her WHY i was up there (to whack off to Dad's magazines) she thought she figured it out and wrote the 'offical story'.  i kept TRYING to tell her (for about 10 minutes until my common sense and survival instinct FINALLY kicked me in the ass and shut me up!) to no avail.  Fine, yeah, Xmas presents, THAT'S the ticket! ;-)  25 years of that story! lol  Never had the heart to tell her the truth and ruin her best story AND the SLIGHT embarassment i endured each time. :-)

i keep finding myself recently fantasizing about being in a wedding dress and being wedded to a gorgeous, strong person! (male OR Female!) It is so intense and intoxicating, never been like this before. Anyone need an obedient, attentive, dedicated wife, to use as they like?

Ok, NOW the move is happening. :-) Need a cheap place, just a room, no storage, already have that. Would love to be someone's sub/slave, to earn my keep. Could be a guy or a t-gurl maid. Prefer Northern Mass/S NH area, but flexible for right sitch.

First Tranny thoughts

Rocking back and forth, I come to realize there is someone standing nearby watching.  Its a beautiful, tall, adult woman, in a beautiful red dress. Beautifully curling black hair, red lips, black pumps.  She just stands there smiling softly.

So there I sit, rocking away happily, and 'she' stands there watching.  Somehow I know... 'she' is 'me'!  Even in the earliest memories of this dream, I seemed to know this was 'me' without any knowledge of sex, the sexes, gender issues, etc.  It was 1965, for gods sake.  Not like this was an issue on any of the 7 TV channels we had.  Maybe I had seen Milton Berle dress up as the world's ugliest woman?  Somehow I don't think THAT would affect me! (at least positively! lol)

Yet somehow I knew it was me.

In my teen years, as a 'latch key kid', I had time and a chance to explore a little.  Along with finding my dad's porn mags in his bedstand, a couple of times I tried some of mom's underwear.  But only for a moment and for curious 'what the heck is this' kinda thing.  So I was pretty normal, straight-oriented, other than I found out I'd get hard in bondage-type situations, thus discovering my love of that kinda thing early on.

Yet the dream reoccurred occasionally.

After college, nothing much in my 1st apartment.  But then a buddy from college and I moved in with another guy and a girl into a house.  The girl and I were the 1st in there, the other guys waiting for their leases to run out.  I'd run into her nearly naked coming out of the one shower or late at night when she'd come out in a short, light nighty to get a snack.  My god it was hard to not react to her right in front of her!  I wanted her so bad, but I was shy back then and she made it clear, the 3 of us guys had to be on best behavior around her. :-( 

Our schedules were so different, we never would have been together anyways, even living in the same house!  So I'd be there by myself, thinking of her.  I'd explore her bedroom, looking longingly at her stuff, imagining her in them.  Then touching her intimate items, dreaming she was there.

Then things got different.  She started dating an old boyfriend.  A big guy, I was noooo competition.  Yet there I was, with her stuff, so close, yet so far.  He was big.  She was rather tall herself, almost my own height!  So there I sat with her stuff, wasn't gonna get her, but I had her stuff.  And gee, it was all just about my size!  Next thing I knew, I had her shoes on.  Heels were something so different!  So exhilerating!  The next time in her room, I tried her shoes again and added her bra and panties.  Then her dresses. Then OMG, her stockings!  Then some makeup!

I'd walk around the house in her stuff, SO horny, so excited!  I'd rush home from work to try again and again.  Then... one day she came home early!  [sorry, this won't go the way you want it to ;-)]  I was down in my basement room.  I heard her footsteps come in upstairs and PANICKED!  The basement door was open, she went by and yelled down 'hi!'  Meanwhile, I'm in a pile on the floor, trying to get out of her stuff as fast as possible, without making noise that would draw her downstairs!  I got everything off and dove past the open stairs, grabbing my clothes and throwing them on.  My room was dark, except for the light coming down the stairs, so she came partway down and asked what I was doing!  I'm standing there in the half light, nervously answered 'oh just had a nap, exhausted from work' and realized I still had her lipstick on!!  Luckily I hadn't used her bright pinks or something that would show up to starkly different.  Just a regular red, phew!

As soon as she went back up, I shot up stairs into the bathroom and washed my face and lips off.  By this time, she was running around the house, yakking and cleaning up for supper.  No time for me to get her stuff back into her room!  I knew her BF and my other 2 roomies were due home soon (how DID it get so late??) and I'd have no chance to return the stuff and she'd notice before the next day!  (I never learned - I _did_ get stuck with some of her stuff another time AND she noticed, so I had to keep it, otherwise how to explain its magical REappearance - STILL have the sandles somewhere! ;-)

Her BF got back and thank god asked her for help with the groceries in the car! I had my only briefest of chances!  I grabbed everything and ran into her room and stashed everything as fast as I could, but in exactly in the same position as I remembered, so she couldn't notice. (I hoped!)  But I took too long being precise and they came back in!  Her room was at the end of the hallway and I was stuck there!  They crossed the hallway into the kitchen and I shot out in softest-mode tiptoes I could and got as far as the bathroom door, when he came past!

I panicked, dropped from my tiptoes and put my arm in the bathroom, as if I had just reached back to turn off the light!  He looked at me weird, I had to say something... 'sorry, didn't hear you come in, was in the potty.' ... oh boy, was the jig up? ... 'Oh, no prob, only had a few bags. Want sausage for dinner?' 

I laughed inwards, thinking of how I SHOULD have wanted 'sausage', given my state of dress only a little while ago.  And would they have FORCED me to, if they had found me in that state, with her clothes on?! 

...hmm, maybe THAT'S when I first thought of going 'the other way'! ...

The Dungeon

The Lockerroom


This time, my Master wanted me at my place.  But i was too worried to do it there, but i did have a great alternative!  The clubhouse in my complex locks at 6 and is empty after like 9pm, we have a door code to get in to use the place, but its different every month and everyone forgets to pick up the new code.

So at 11/midnight no one is ever there, but i still had a hiding place anyway.  i got in one of the shower stalls in the back, naked and pulled the curtain shut.  So even if someone came in to use the bathroom, they wouldn't know i was there, even if they looked around!

So i got down on my knees, cuffed my ankles, then put on a hood so i couldn't even see.  i suddenly felt scared and helpless.  But i swallowed, took a deep breath and cuffed my wrists behind me and waited...

It was way past the time He was supposed to be there.  i started to panic that He wasn't going to show up and i couldn't extricate myself from this public place!  Then i heard the door of the clubhouse open in the distance...  Someone was here!  OMG, what if someone else finds me here?  i froze absolutely motionless, scared to death.  Then finally the lockerroom door opened.  Slow footsteps.  God, i thought i was going to pass out!  THEN i felt the curtain go past my body.  A long silence.

Then i felt something brush the hole in the hood around my mouth.  i opened my mouth and suddenly a hand was on the back of my head and FORCED my head and mouth forward and impaled it on a huge cock!

i couldn't do anything, including breathe!  i was pumped in and out on this hard rod, time and time again!  i finally gagged and the hands took my head and forced me along the cock length, licking it all the way to the balls.  Again my mouth was deepthroated, this time i was held in place for SO long!  i didn't care if i couldn't breathe, i was in heaven.

Now i was pumped again, time after time, in and out, wetter and wetter.  Suddenly, it felt even bigger, deeper and wider.  My head was slammed into His pubes and HELD there!  After a bit, He suddenly erupted and my throat and mouth was FILLED with His juices!  STILL i was held there, ready to pass out from lack of air AND ecstacy!

i swallowed as best i could and then He pulled out, making me lick it clean all over!  Then He let go and i collapsed in a pile in the stall.  i heard the curtain pull closed and suddenly He was gone and i was hidden and alone.  i laid there in an unmoving heap, still cuffed & hooded, covered in sweat and cum dripping from my mouth, for more than an hour.

i finally came to and recovered enough to sit up and find the cuff keys with my fingers and get myself cleaned up and out of there, before any early morning types came in.

i slept well that morning! ;-)


i found the email the next day.


He said He was sorry, but that He couldn't make it that night, maybe another time!  But, but, SOMEONE fucked my mouth that night!!  Was that why it wasn't at the correct time?  But how did they know i was there?  Was i seen going in?  Several buildings face that door, but i thought i was discrete and non-chalant.  Maybe not.  It had rained that night, maybe my wet footprints on the lockerrom floor gave me away?  i was in a panic as i wrote back and nervously waited for an answer to my perplexion.

Several days passed before a message came back...  He laughed that it wasn't Him, but at least i had a good time.  He liked my alternative plan so much, He had forwarded my message to a friend of His to whack off to.  It had the directions and code in it, so maybe HE was the one that showed up?  Was this it?  Or was He just screwing with my mind?  It really did!

i never found out.

I'm His Hooded Cum Slave

RVing for the 1st time - Part 2

RVing for the 1st time