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| In case your wondering where the name's from: https://youtu.be/xUFAC3DXu4s (2:43) Damon: "Elena meet Crazypants. Crazypants, meet Elena." - From Vampire Diaries. Relationship status: in an open relationship. My main interests are cats, gaming, and food. Cats: All cats, Any cats, Every cat. Even if it's an ugly cat. My favorites are mainecoons, Norwegian Forest, Siberian, and Scottish Fold. Especially fluffy foldies. Gaming: I play a few games but for very large amounts of time. Elder Scrolls - Skyrim, Oblivion, Morrowind. Age of Empires 1,2,3. Rune Scape .(All on the PC) Food: juicy delicious cheeseburgers, meals by grandma, Chinese food, and of course pizza. (I'm gonna die) I'm looking for play partners, Friends and fuck buddies. Eventually if everything goes well in my life and I'm settled I want to start ing my BDSM household.
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It's almost entirely BDSM's fault that I want a large middle class home. My plan has always been to have a small house of small means, occasionally backpacking cross country or in Europe and Asia. Then every once in awhile I get the itch to settle down in one spot and build a massive dungeon. (massive compared to a tiny house, one or two rooms.) Maybe I could be happy like that. I'm not sure.
I want to avoid the mistakes of my parents and grandparents and live simply. This is difficult because I have the collecting bug. I like collecting sex toys, knives, and rocks.
I grew up in an unfinished garage-converted-to-a-house as a child of second generation hoarders. They mostly collected junk and odds and ends. Nothing like what I've seen on TV hoarding dirty diapers or something. There were piles, but for the most part the house was unobstructed. I had everything I needed and a whole lot that I did not! My aunts house was a different story. On occasion her double-wide was packed so tightly with dvds and vhs tapes and other random crap you could not move through the house. (I guess her item of choice to collect was movies and TV. If only she'd grown up in the ages of Netflix!) Because of this I never learned to socialize properly or how to take care of guests and I definitely did NOT have friends over.
On top of that my grandparents were (and still are!) religious nuts. Not to mention racist. Ugh! They moved out to the absolute middle of nowhere in the 70s because obviously the apocalypse was about to happen. For years they dealt with shitty well water (well sulfur-y is more accurate, as I understand is often the case with well water) no TV (wasn't important at the time as they used to think it was evil to watch TV and movies. The ridiculous thing is its all they would do when I was a child and I was always bored out of my mind), no internet, no trash service and dirt roads! Dirt roads! This is only only place I've ever been in my life that had dirt roads. Not gravel roads: glorified clay paths. On the upside I have fond memories of trash burning days. (I love fire and always have) riding the 3-wheeler with grandpa and my brother and walks on their beautiful Missouri landscape. It's hard to reconcile this sometimes. Does any of that excuse them being horrible people? They beat the fear of the lord into my mother. Treated her as less-than, then treated me as less-than while my brother was treated as the son they never had. (probably part of the reason I'm so masculine). I'm guessing they will disown me soon as my mom let slip that I was "bisexual" to my grandmother. (I'm not I'm more of a pansexual if anything. Romantically lesbian, Sexually pansexual. It's complicated.) I used to love them but just the more I learn about them and how awful they were to my mom and how horribly racist and sexist they are, I find myself feeling nothing but cold. Somewhere there's still a child in me that wants love and acceptance and praise and attention and all I'm rewarded with is the vision of hiding from my grandpa trying to avoid my grandpa coming to whip me. It was only one time (my parents put a stop to that) but i was only 3 or 4 and I still remember it to this day. Not good enough. Never good enough. Never will be good enough. |
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| Age: 19 |
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California |
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