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Most recently, I just got out of a five-year relationship. During the final few years, we lost the D/s in our lives. So it's been a while since i've tapped into my submissive side. I'm working to find my submissive self again. It's a strange place to be, I remember how it was in great D/s relationships, but I am having a hard time tapping back into it.
Over the previous years I traveled along that road that few have traveled. Met many bears and wolves along the way. However, a few loyal friends have helped me find a better path, although still rarely traveled it seems to be a much more comfortable journey. The journey is becoming lonely and would love to meet someone who can join me. Often he will need to be the guiding force. At times he will need to be my comfort. However, at all times he should be honest and trustworthy.
I admit that I have a strong enough personality that I am going to watch out for my best interests. I have the know-how to be self sufficient, however with the right guy, that totally slips away. Are you the right guy?
I’m sorry, but if you are 1) married, separated or any way attached and do not have a divorce decree in your hand, 2) you are old enough to be my father 3) have children older than 18. 4) never plan on settling down and having children (its ok if that is sometime off) or 5) being with you would require me to permanently leave the USA—then you are not that guy.
Also, I am currently not looking for one night flings or to join another couple or group as an ongoing arrangement
I am interested in getting to know more about people who are interested in friendship or something more, especially long term.
**Kindly note, if it has been more than 3 days and I havent read your email, please resend, most likely I havent received it. **
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Relationship didnt work out. Turns out he is still in love with someone else. Wish he had figured it out all those months ago instead of waiting almost a half a year to figure it out.
But, that means I am jumping back into the pond again. Cant believe I am saying it, but I am single again. |
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I had to say goodbye to another guy tonight. Sometimes it really hurts. Especially when they are great guys. However, those are the guys that always seem to find every one of my faults and insecurities. Knowing that those would become issues in our relationship, the only responsible thing I can do is ask them to find someone else, no matter how much that hurts me and I don’t want to. |
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Finally starting to get settled here in Albany. Its pretty much a fresh start on everything. New job is only a few months old, new place is only a few weeks old and I am single. Time to regroup and decide what I really want at this point in my life.
The move was hellish, and most of my so-called "friends" bailed on me, leaving me to deal with it myself and get myself out of bad situations. So, it is time to reconsider some friendships as well . Just as I am purging possessions from my life, might be time to purge some relationships as well.
In all of this "fresh start" mindset, I am also starting to reconsider what I really want in my relationships and sex life. I am not sure that I have the same desire for the same intensity I had before, or maybe it is just lower on the priority list. I am really not sure. Things are really up in the air what I need and want at this point.
Time for a clean slate and to start building my life from the ground up again. There is a lot of thinking to do. |
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So, its official, I got the new job in Albany, so my time here in Catskill is heading towards a close. I am expecting to be moving closer to Albany in the next few months. Right now I am doing the commute and it isnt too bad, right now I am thinking early summer for the move.
However, since the commute isnt so bad and I havent had a lot of luck finding what I want in a new apartment, I am open to taking my time in finding a place up there. However, I definately want to be settled by October when the weather starts heading towards winter.
So what that means for CM is that I am going to be heading north, so although I am still in Catskill now, that may take me out of range for having a relationship with someone south, and for the guys in the north, especially around Albany, I am open to pursuing something up there. Right now I am up there at least five days a week.
Time for another new chapter in my life. |
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Took a break for a while, tried focusing on a guy and getting my life together. Neither seemed to have worked out. Both seem to reach a peak and then everything fell apart.
Working on picking up the pieces of my life, as for the guy... havent heard from him in weeks.
Hard to be together if he never even contacts you, even though he keeps making promises of "soon..." Soon we will talk, Soon I will have time to see you, Soon things will slow down. Yeah, ok, I believed that months ago, but obviously that doesnt seem to be changing.
I deserve to be a priority, not a fill in the blank when you are bored.
So, time for me to move on again. Get my life back together, if a guy happens to be part of that, even better. |
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I have been here quite a while now. Unfortunately, I think it is starting to wear me down. I try to keep up hope that there is a great guy out there just for me, but over time that is really starting to waver.
Ive started to consider giving this all up and going back to vanilla. I know I wont be happy there, but it could be the better of two options.
Is it better to be happy and alone, or better to not be happy and have a family? |
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Guys keep asking me what I am looking for. At this point I will start with someone who can return a phone call, show up on time or within a minute or two, contact me if they arent coming, doesnt lie to me and will communicate their thoughts rather than bottling it all up and then blowing up.
Of course there is more, but I will start there. I didnt think that was a lot to ask, but with my luck lately I havent found anyone that can actually follow all of those. Its just basic manners and communication.... |
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After some interesting emails with a gentleman regarding how much experience I have , I have decided to edit my profile to remove all of my interests other than the top primary. However, this doesnt mean that I am not interested in other things, or have experience in them.
Please dont put me in a box or make assumptions based on what is or is not listed, just ask I am very willing to talk about my interests.
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Ok, has been a few months since my last update. Yes, I thought things had gotten better, but NO, the guys I have been finding so far aren't any better.
The only difference is now they start off saying "you can trust me, I am different"... then I keep them around a bit longer and they do the same stupid thing that all the rest do!
Please... stop doing the falling off the face of the earth act. Grow up a bit, put on your big boy boxers and contact me and just say you arent interested.
Basic Manners 101.
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Here we go, once again everything seemed great up to the week of the saturday we were going to meet, then wednesday he flakes out.
And people wonder why I have trust issues. Hmm, maybe because every time I get to the point where I think I can trust one of these guys they disappear off the face of the earth....
This one even played the "but I am not the one that did all the stuff in your past so you shouldnt hold it against me, you can trust me, I am not like them. " card....
Guess he was more like them than he thought.
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They say that when a door is shut a window opens, lately it seems that I am seeing that a lot in my life, which is very inspiring.
Over the last few months there have been a lot of Dom disappointments. Just a few weeks ago I had another one. He talked the talk up until the week before the Saturday we were supposed to meet. As of Thursday he still hadnt responded to my voice mail, email or IM, by Friday night I had given up. He still hasnt resurfaced.
However, just as that door closed a window opened. That same Saturday he was supposed to be here someone from my past resurfaced. So far so good. There seems to be good communication. Is it possible that there are still some single Doms out there who have good communication skills?
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Communication is KEY ....
Once again another guy... supposed Dom that cant communicate.
I am starting to wonder if there is a stamp on my forehead.
Please if you can't communicate, would rather ignore than discuss, or just drop off the grid when things get rocky, don't even bother messaging me.
Every relationship is going to have trying times, so it is a waste of my time if you just shut down or run away when that happens since a relationship cannot sustain like that.
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| Age: 19 |
| United Kingdom |
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