Whatever he feels threatened by in giving up, that is where his sense of power truly is.

Whatever he does not allow to be spoken ill of, that is what he truly worships.

Whatever he would do anything to attain, that thing, and not the vehicle of that thing, is what he wants to be a slave to.

Whatever he actually does anything for, turns to unwittingly in uncertainty, listens to without question, that is what owns him.

Women's inboxes are mostly a junkheap of "tell me you havent read a word Ive written without saying that you havent read it", especially around the holiday seasons.

So, lets play a game.

Suggest to me some form of colleteral. Something tangible, meaning that it has material form, and of recognised value, meaning most people, including me, must agree it has some kind of value or meaning. Abstract concepts like promises and "obedience" don't count, they are intangible, not to mention unverifiable and most of you offering it up have no clue what the hell they are anyway. The key to your chastity counts, that certainly has universally recognised value. We will set it up. Then tell me you have read and understood me without saying you have read and understood them. if you lose, I keep the collateral. If you win, I gain a new trainee.

Naturally, it requires that you got even this far in order to play.

There are some things in the universe that, while unsavoury, are facts.

Fact: Men and women think differently, have different values, and different concerns. This will remain so as long as we raise boys and girls differently, and as long as there are differences in experiences that exist solely because of gender and sex. For example, being raised to carry mace in your purse. Or not accepting friendship from men you have no sexual interest in. Or being told constantly that boys are rougher and tougher than girls. Or that girls are better than boys.

Fact: Most men fail at finding a female Dominant because they apply male thinking and male standards to what they call their submission. True, some women are masculine minded enough for the offers to align, but mostly not.

Fact: Most people who believe they can better convince someone of their position in person or speech than text think so because they rely heavily on manipulation in their social interactions. Manipulation includes techniques to change a person's mind as well as skills such as observation of the person's body language, and adjusting oneself to interact accordingly. It does not have to be deliberate or malicious.

Fact: Most people are unable to appreciate the full meaning of "anything" and "nothing". Sometimes not even when it smacks them in the teeth.

Fact: Being attracted to Dominant people does not make you a submissive. Wanting and enjoying things done to you does not make you submissive.

Fact: Allowing identities to spring up around descriptive words is a terrible idea. You end up warpping the meaning of the words and muddle the defining characteristics of the identity group. 

Fact: The only reason there is no "wrong way" to be in BDSM is because it is a catchall for every deviation from the expectations of the norm. On the whole, this has worked out only because a box for all the odds and ends rather than one box for each different thing presents better social efficiency. 

Fact: Insisting you are or are not something does not make you that. Being it is the only thing that does.

Fact: Most people are not exceptions

A summary of changes in my circumstances since 2019:

I am in the midst of moving from Lower Mainland British Columbia to Snohomish Washington.

I have remarried, we are very happy. As before, he is very much aware of what I do and we have nothing to hide from each other. As always, my slaves belong to me and only me, and will be expected to serve without reservations regardless of who is present. 

We are moving about 30min out of the city and trying our hand at starting a small home farm, think chickens, a large dog, herbs, vegetables, and the like.

I am open to hearing from those who are interested and able to contribute their genuine efforts into the above: this means you have the means to come out to us on your own, are able to meet and not just wanting to talk forever about it, and skills and knowledge relevant to living this kind of life, such as genuine domestic skills, gardening or animal husbandry knowledge, handyman skills for small build projects, or any other fields I may not have thought of. (Unfortunately, your fantasy and desire to suck cock or lick pussy is still not a relevant skill)

At this stage, I am more inclined to accept persons able to add a feminine energy to my life, regardless of their gender or sex.

 Age is irrelevant, only your health and ability to work.

I find that those who think slaves are provided for as a matter of course by their Masters don’t understand the value of slaves, and those who think their Masters owe it to them to take care of their wellbeing do not understand the meaning of “property”.

It is often erroneously argued that slave owners should provide for the slave in terms of room, board and general upkeep, that a slave does not and does not have to contribute materially to the household. Slaves of past ages are often cited as examples. This is a fallacy. Those slaves were compensated for the work he or she puts in with the food, clothing, and roof under which to sleep. In other words, they earn their room, board and general upkeep.

However, the value of the work slaves have traditionally done to earn their keep has plummeted by alarming rates. There just isn’t as much work available around the typical modern home as there used to be, and what work that is available is no longer as highly valued as it used to be.  Machines now take most of the drudgery out of maintaining a comfortable and hygienic house and modern conveniences such as internet shopping and ubereats has dramatically reduced the amount of attention that needs to be lent to many household tasks. When a slave cannot generate enough value to the household to justify their upkeep, there is no need for the slave.

One could certainly argue that being able to support a slave that brings no value to the house is a sign of power, but then, that’s the slave bringing value as a status symbol.

Now, fortunately, we as owners get to decide individually if what our slaves do is valuable to us. Unfortunately for the vast majority of would-be slaves, the owners decide. So if the owner decides that the slave has most value to them sitting in a closet doing crosswords, that’s where the slave is most valuable. In today’s world, it makes the most prudent sense to have a skilled slave work outside the home in an area they are skilled in, in order to provide value to their owners. This, however, is entirely up to the owner to decide. Not the slave.

Then there is the responsibility of taking care of one’s slave. This phrase is often misinterpreted. To say an owner is responsible for the wellbeing of their slave is not to say they are obligated to take care of their slave and make sure their slaves are happy! It is to say that the owner has no one to blame or praise but themselves for their slave’s wellbeing.

A slave is property. One does not owe it to their toaster to keep it clean and functional. Indeed, most people don’t. Many don’t maintain their appliances, they just replace them when they break. That is the nature of property. When you become property you become an item. To be used and disposed of per your owner’s will. 

Of course, the argument is largely true that a happy slave is a better worker, and it is also true in exactly the same way that a clean toaster works better. But it is entirely up to the owner to decide if they need or want to do it. There is always a trade-off point, after all, where it is more trouble than it’s worth to maintain something rather than just replace it.

By the large, owners who wish to keep their slaves in good running condition will take care of the slaves and those who don’t, won’t. This is entirely at the owner’s discretion. And of course, it is a slave’s prerogative to choose to serve a Master who does wish to keep them in good running condition; the point is, it is not an obligation. The owner does not owe it to the slave to take care of them.

If you as a slave do not think a Master is motivated to keep you in good running condition, you may not be the slave for them. That said, what have you done and what can you do in order to motivate them to keep you in good running condition? Consider the $2.99 ikea lamp you bought because you needed a cheap lamp and never really liked, vs the $1000 chandelier that you saved for a whole year to purchase, and the $16.99 lamp you bought because it was on sale but turn out to really like. Which are you, to any prospective owner? (Not what you want to be, but what you actually are.) Have you proven yourself to be more than a disposable “until something better comes along” item? Are you truly a worthy slave that they would want to keep around for as long as possible?

I am often asked about my "fantasy". This is one of the difficult ones. For a thing to be a fantasy, there needs to be a degree of improbability in its attainment; ergo, disqualifying most of the scope of the D/s dynamic that I consider ideal for me. I suppose if there must be one, it would be the moment where I fasten a permanent collar on someone and trot online with relief to announce that I am being satisfactorily served and am no longer looking. In all honesty, I am often horrified by how not greedy I really am, that's absolutely no way for a Dominant woman to be lol of course, sadly, that just makes it triply tragic when one fails to achieve such a simple thing.

I was meaning to write about a nice luncheon with Violet on Friday, but first, a rant.

Dear boys, if your entire knowledge and experience with massage is to put oil on your hands and paw at a woman's parts, please kindly take "giving massage" off your resume. You know nothing. Your ministrations are good for nothing. You are going to seriously hurt someone one of these days, and by this I mean one day I am going to seriously kick the ass of one of your types that dare come before me announcing they are good at massage. And the next crackpot that dare suggest that I'd like to give him a massage because "(I'm) Asian and Asian women are totally into giving massage" wins a trip to the hospital with a broken appendage. WTF.

I hear a lot of submissives complaining about Dom/mes who approach them with lines like "Hey slut/whore/slave/pig/dog/etc". So the question is this: how is it our fault that that's the only name you leave us to call you with?

Yea, it's one of those days.

It is an unusual peeve of mine that I find I am inordinately offended by would-be "slaves" who say things like "oh it didn't work with my last Mistress because she wasn't intelligent enough" or "we didn't gel on an intellectual level" and variations thereof.

Barring the usual tired lecture on choosing one's Masters wisely (for heaven's sake how do you not realise that things like "I had to leave my last Mistress because I didn't feel she was smart enough" make you look bad?) and committing properly once you have chosen and delivered your word, Leadership and Vision are traits that have every equal possibility of existing independent of measures of intelligence, wit, learning or vanilla world "success". The slave serves the Master, who gives it purpose. One does not need to be smarter in order to give the other purpose, it only needs to know one thing: what's best for the slave.

The Master does not need to know or understand how to get to a certain goal, s/he simply needs to know what that goal is. As a slave, one needs to understand that its intellect, as much as any other resources it is born with or acquires, is a valuable commodity to be put towards the Master's needs and goals, not spat upon, trampled and discarded by the slave.

On the converse, intelligence, success and any number of other "virtuous traits" are not the same as Leadership and Vision and must never be mistaken for such either. Just because they are better educated, better employed, better spoken, does not mean they are better equipped as Masters. nor does that make them automatically better Masters.

The goal of the Master is not to awe and crush the slave under his/her superiority. The life of a slave is not to wallow forever in crippling worship of its Master. That's waste of a perfectly good slave, that is.

So, I caved and started putting the bed together this morning myself. A third of the way in, I got a dogged text from someone who'd arranged with me three days ago to come help, flaking out on me. Oh West Coast *sigh* My horoscope is adamant that the most favourable direction for me is West, yet I am constantly faced with evidence that I might enjoy the ambience better on the East Coast.

Power is subjective. Each person view it slightly differently, and so often we forget this.

Take for example, "providing for". The same thing, depending on those approaching it, runs the entire gamut from "an act of extreme slavery" to "an act of ultimate Dominance". There are slaves/subs who consider providing for their Masters to be a matter of course, or a privilege, and slave/subs who consider it a matter of course that their Masters provide for them--- similarly there are Masters who believe having their slaves/subs provide for them is Power and others who feel that relying on their slaves/subs to provide for them is weakness.

There is a man in my acquaintanceship, a masochist, who feels powerful when tortured. (He calls himself a submissive, when I suppose the better community term is bottom, yet to my eyes, despite his masochism, his personality and approach is unmistakably the bratty Dom.)

There is the Domme who derives a sense of power through doing tough things herself, yet none from relinquishing the menial tasks to her slaves/subs.

There is the slave who feel powerless being kept in a closet like a mere tool for use at the discretion of his Master, and the sub that feels empowered by the same arrangement.

The Dom who feels powerful when he champions his slave/sub, and the slave/sub that feels powerful when being championed; then, of course, the vice-versa.

Power is subjective.

It is a variable dependant entirely on the values of the person experiencing it.

What makes you feel powerful?

Off to Ikea to purchase a new bed, hmmm......

Now I just need someone to put it together for me when it arrives.

It is a point of pride for me to be able to wave my hand around the room and say "I put everything in here together myself", but there comes a time when one's got to admit that their health simply isn't like it used to be and learn to ration their strength. sigh.

You might as well know that I have been house-hunting for a long time for an ideal habitat, but it is only recently that any sort of likely choices have surfaced. Therefore it is with uncharacteristic optimism in a number of factors based both in the "mundy" and in the faith and honesty of people that I expect to be overhauling this profile soon.

Is it really that insurmountable a thing to meet someone you might be interested in starting something (anything: relation/friendship, business idea, starting a group, anything) with at starbucks for coffee? after you've run out of burning need-to-know-before-we-meet questions?

Some days it seems the average mental age of North American/Canadian West Coast denizens is at least 8 below the national average.

I am, emotionally, a miser.

I do not share joys or positivity, I hoard them to myself. It is mine, and anyway, you may not understand. So, rather than sharing and devaluing it, rather than releasing it into the aether, I hoard it. Close to heart and mind. Unexpressed. Unburdened and unsullied by words and interpretation.

I do not expect you so much to forgive me as to simply indulge.

Dear Possibly Interested Looking For A Domme...

I cannot speak for the Doms being as I lack the appropriate parts and biochemistry, however I feel that I am safely in the realm of speaking for all Dommes when I say 

"if She has a long profile and/or public journal entries, She intends for you to read it before asking her to cam......"

I am just about pleasantly lulled and vindictively amused at this moment to address that incredible taboo of this lifestyle, Money-- and how it is viewed and valued in association with Me.

I am not a ProDomme. I am far too wilful and lazy for that line of work, truth be told, and am eternally in awe of the great patience and dedication the true Pros put into their businesses.

I am not a FinDomme. I do not get off on piles of "cold hard cash" or the number of zeroes in my bank balance... though I cannot in all honesty say that I do not delight in watching men drive themselves to financial ruination over a woman, it is a strong emotional fulfilment, better than sex, though not orgasmic. (A person who believes an orgasm to be the utmost enjoyment in life clearly has not lived). Rest assured, however, that level of venom and contempt is reserved for a very select kind of scum that I am fortunate enough not to have in my life.

It is true that I bear a certain high regard for money, but only as a universal resource. It is necessary, but hardly of any importance in itself. There is only value in stockpiling it if there is a goal in doing so. The true and only value of it is in its transaction, the way and purpose for which it is spent.

I have a polarised relationship with shopping. I love finding something I like and being able to bring it home and call it mine. I hate spending time looking and not finding anything I like, or worse, finding something I like and not being able to take it home with me then and there, for whatever reason.

I get nothing from simply receiving something. What grips me is the heart in the gift. It's nice to get nice things, I suppose, but it is much more important to me that what you bring me shows that you'd taken the time to really think about what I might like, what might suit me, and what might please me. I do not derive as much pleasure from the object you bring me as the spirit in which it was procured. For that reason, I do not like wishlist gifting.

I like to watch your body language as you bring me the thing. Your demeanour, your trepidation, the tension and tremble as you present it, your response to how I receive it, as you wait for me to decide if it was a worthy gift, if you'd been right about it suiting and pleasing me... THAT is what I want, more than receiving a thing.

Yes, of course there are things I want definitively, that you would not have to guess wildly about, but I want to be there as you satisfy my lust for those material things, savour your excitement and the adoration in your actions as you enable me. There is a connection, then, that is lacking when you merely click on a button on some remote site to get some automaton to send some mysterious unsolicited package to my door. That is what I desire, more than being spent on. (It is not the dollar amount that matters, it is your actions, your response!)

Which is why I am unmoved by the size of your wallet. Which is why I am disgusted by those who complain about having to spend on another person (complaints on inadequate pricing not withstanding), and those who make a show of it. The only thing it shows is a stinginess of spirit.

Which is why I am usually better impressed by a careful hand-made card than an expensive thoughtless trinket; which is why I was much more charmed, this past month, by a bottle of detergent than a flashy platinum card.

I grew up in a true multicultural community, where people did not regard others of different ethnicity and cultures as "interesting" or special in any way, just other people. But the pendulum swings both ways, and the flip side of the high integration is what here in the west is often cited as Racism. Erroneously, in my opinion.

High integration leads to higher and more intimate understanding of what would otherwise be an alien people, and elements of their core culture, ethnic beliefs, and generic behavioural profile. Racism discriminates against people based indiscriminately on their genetic race. We have not a word for discriminating against people for their ethnic/cultural behaviours. Besides, it can't be discrimination if it's true, can it.

It was love at first sight for me with the new WoWC Golden Dragon Vanity Mount... except it means I shall have to reactivate my account (if I can find the password) and play again (oh the drudgery!)

MisA suggested opening myself up to warcrack slaves in jest. It may not be quite such a bad idea... hm...

I'm in a crap mood and it looks lie it will last all week/weekend. SO, here's the deal. propose a distraction, a "date" for lack of a better word, something civilised and classy to lift and rejuvenate my spirits this weekend. The one with the best suggestion gets to put it in action.

One of those days when you don't want to do anything but need to have a bunch of things done...... meh.

In other rants, dear men and pigs. It doesn't matter how many cock shots you shove in my face. It isn't going to magically make me fall to my knees as your nubile little sex slave. That shady magician at the fair that sold you that ointment to make your penis do just that? He lied.

I get to wondering from time to time what genuine response rates those "Goddess seeking new pay piggies and losers" actually net. Which of course leads to contemplations of setting up just such an experiment. What better way of finding out?

The real challenge would be keeping on a straight face.

A new year, a difficult and trying one, those who read these things say, one in which it would serve me best to hanker down and lie low--as one would against the back of a wild galloping horse or soaring dragon--and with patience and open heart and mind, let it carry me where it may.

Being mistaken for a completely different Domme on CM: I wonder how often this happens to Dommes on CM...?

It's a remnant of my vicious youth that when I hear supposed slaves trying to cling on to their wallets or heterosexuality I take it as a personal challenge to beat them over the head with it, hah... itjust doesn't make sense. Either be prepared to give it up at the discretion of your Owner or admit you're not a real slave to begin with.

Is it me or them?

Tuesday, the Hungarian pup turned up for his make-up session. First I set him to scrubbing the bathroom floor for the first time, which took him two hours and 5 or 6 inspections... I have no idea why? I'm able to do it myself to the standard I was setting him in 20minutes. It aggravated me to the point of breaking out the leather flogger. Nothing extreme, 10 strokes to his rump in all. Then we had lunch, him from the floor, of course, and me with my feet on his back, followed by foot worship, and just as I was starting to feel more forgiving towards him, he asks to leave on account of a prior engagement (to a past activity that I was disapproving towards but willing to let lay) and that he thought he would just be here for "a couple of hours". He's had 4 days to inform me of his schedule. I have never kept him for less than 4 hours. I was furious, marched him to the door and told him to get dressed and go, but when my back was turned getting a drink, he undressed again and begged to be allowed to stay, over and over while I continued to throw him out, which only disgusted me further. If you had wanted to stay you would never have mentioned wanting to leave to begin with.

Out with the negativity, Samhain is upon us!

The Hungarian pup is coming again on Tuesday to set the "Spring cleaning" in motion, but also to be disciplined for the slipshod job the last time and missing his shift on Friday. He has been warned that I like my word followed to the letter. So when I say "a floor clean enough to eat off of"......

Promises of visitation looms in November. As always, I will believe their intentions when they are before me and not before. I wonder who would actually show?

And a question thrown out to any who are passing though this journal: Why is it boys balk at writing assignments? I'm owed 4 as we speak (2 kink/maybe/hell-no lists, 1 on the nature of D/s, 1 formal apology), and being somewhat skeptical about ever hearing from these hopefuls again. What's so hard you can't put in written word but seem to think you can skate on by in conversation?

Remember my "Alpha Pleasure slave" corresponder who serves only the "Alpha Woman of the Tribe" who, in her turn as Alpha Woman has no use for any kind of slave except Pleasure slaves?

He was back in my mailbox this morning after I refused to dignify a response to his last missive (which insulted both my gender and intelligence with wildly chauvinistic manners) again presenting the points that I am "very young" and "male".

Does he not realise that only gives away how starved for Dominant attention he is? (And how vanilla? Young males are in themselves a desirable commodity in these circles!)

Oh boys, boys, boys, you funny little boys... you call me beautiful right off the bat without a glimpse of me and when the chokehold looms, when you are unhappy with me for whatever reason, you demand to know if I'm hiding because I'm fat... or male. Look around? How many BBW Dommes hide their size? Gay male Doms get a much better grade of applicants (and prettier TS) than I, the little Asian Domme. I will confess to have thought seriously about posing as them, only I know it would only be a huge disappointment for you when we meet to find I am neither anatomically male nor large.

My cat's sick. Took him to the vet, waiting for test results. Someone come clean his bile out of the carpets and cheer me up! :(((

The notion of getting a tribute sub flitted through my mind when the vet presented her bill for the examination. That can't be healthy either :/

Also, much more interestingly, I appear to be a "zombie", in possession of an account name that was previously created, used, then deleted... not sure what to do about that? lol

seems kylesoss is a complete waste of my time...

Dear boys, how much more clear must I get? I am recruiting slaves, not lovers. I do not have any romantic interest in slaves. You are simply not worthy of that kind of affection, because you are slaves. And in case you didn't understand what "married" means, it means there is a man whose ring I wear when I want to wear a ring, fuck when I'm horny, go to sleep in the same bed with every night, and whose silly manlish whims I indulge beyond reason. That is not you. And if ever I am to take a lover on the side, that will also not be you. Reflect on the full humiliation of the kind of existence you will have with me before approaching and wasting my time. That is all.

Also, if you're only getting back to me with the information I needed to start your scene with an hour after the scene was meant to start, please kindly take to presume that I have cancelled your scene an hour and ten minutes ago and gone off to do something else. Thank you.

Should a Mistress chase up potential slaves when they fail to respond? My vanilla instinct is to let it go, consider it their loss and a sign of their weakness, too childish for me as their Better to chase down and mock. My Mistress side wants to know if they expect me to run them over and interrogate them with a bullwhip lol

In other news in my on-going adventures in sub/slave-fails, I was informed by a prospective whom I'd politely turned down in the email stages for really being nothing more than a sexual do-me slave (yay, rears the head of a beast that combines my two "favourite" s types)that

"Wanna be Mistress; I recently moved here from L.A. ,where I manage a multi-national corporation. Raised in NYC. Princess, in comparison, you know nothing about the industry. I am the real deal, and I am betting you are a guy !! Your choice of words and your young age don't match up. Good luck in your world of "internet domination "..... Later little boy !!"

... my D/s lifestyle is an Industry now? (No, I never mentioned money, although I did suggest that I could work with him if he would consent to being broken in... but apparently that's the mistake made by second-rate Mistresses who want general slaves because they don't know what they want. Also, apparently, there are only Pleasure slaves and the much inferior General slaves, nothing in between.) Also insulting is that apparently a woman of my age can't possibly be in possession of sophisticated non-valleygirl language whereas a boy of my age can... but the most baffling part that keeps coming up more than these wild accusations over my gender is people balking at me for "internet dominating" them... when my policy is RT only, and pretty much ask to see a prospective as soon as it seems they won't run away screaming heresy from me... oh, wait, how did I forget? Chauvinists believe any attempt to think differently from them and not go with their plans is Domination. Right.

He apparently is "highly trained and well acclaimed" and a sub of the finest kind that "submits only to the Alpha Woman of the tribe" (whom he hopes to find through Craigslist on an ad that says he'll train the right candidate). Now, I've recently been blessed by a peek at the Alpha Woman of our "tribe" (the lifestyle D/s world) and she is magnificent indeed. But I cannot see what personal use she could have of such a creature and I rather suspect she'd burn off his testicles and throw him out on his ear for the fun of it......

I firmly believe a Domme is weighed on her own Mistressy merits and how she wields her slaves, not the quality of her slaves per say. Thoughts?

I quote this verbatim from an email I received about an hour ago: "Normally my impression of goddess is being selfish and and cater to her own needs rather than making me a better person or wat not..Those emotions jus disturbed the whole idea of being a slave and a pet" which I suppose stems from my requirement that slaves be able to support themselves financially (get a job) and act with dignity and responsibility towards themselves so as not to bring me shame... where does it say a Mistress cannot try to be, in Her own way, a good person? lol

... paint it whichever way you wish, a male "slave" with no other purpose or pursuit besides the "sexual pleasure" of his Mistress is no slave at all, but a misogynist egotist who prefers to blame Woman for his sexual indiscretions and wishes to be considered so sexually irresistible that no Woman would pass up the chance to chain him to their bedroom and fuck him any which way to Sunday. The most despicable kind of slave there is, just a low step below those who submit on Sundays to prove they are "man enough to do it".

2 minutes before I give up on Bingo10 showing up and go in search of brunch myself...

A brief, laidback afternoon Service with a Hungarian puppy. He is good-natured and well-mannered, but infused with deplorable little bachelor habits. I've discovered to my displeasure that I need to do some of his tasks over and clean his cleaning tools. Tsk!

My cat has been of a nervous deposition and constantly throwing up. Lately I have been given to contemplating my genetic roots and its influences on my temperament. Perhaps in time, it may be prudent to relocate back in an Easterly direction... or continue Westwards, the difference is geographically negligible.

Also, the low wave of annoyance at "people" without the common decency to let you know not to expect replies from them again.

submann didn't show up for his meet/play. Admittedly the play scenario we'd planned was a plunge in the deep end, but I did express my sane-self's assurance that he did not have to go through with it if it turned out to be much too hard. After all, it's only the "first date". Shame.

Getting back on my feet from the sneezing/coughing/etc, one hopes...