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So I am making changes in my life.
Over the last 3 years I have realised more and more just how awesome I am. Last weekend on my way home from subspace with a friend, I realised that I am a rare gem. I am very precious for the longest time I have had no self worth of my own I figured as a sub my worth is determined by my owner.
My madam broke the shell of this mentality through shock therapy she showed me the path I had to walk to find my self worth simply pointed down the trail and said start walking I’ll be waiting for you at the end. A few months ago we where talking about something I was able to do and out of the blue she made a comment that if I beg for praise it isn’t worth it and I said “I don’t need it I am proud of my self for my accomplishment you praise is worth nothing if I am not proud of my self” and she just said “fucking eh you finally got it good boy”
Other friends I have had such as Morganna and shortcakes who run the local munch who helped me realise my ex who I allowed to abuse me was trash and not worthy of me. My friend Morganna was one of the first to call ma a gem.
Another friend who helped me grow was a woman on collar me by the screen name lesbian Carole a self professed man hating lesbian I became her friend one night by just being nice to her when she had a tooth ache. I simply did my kitty role play to try and make her feel better and ended up making a good friend who’s friend ship I value to this day she was the second person who called me a rare gem.
I have decided to mark this change in my way of viewing my self that I wanted to be marked with a gem on my left shoulder which means I will have to relocate another of my tattoo plans but this one spoke to me in that I can see an actual image of it on my body clearly in my mind I know who I want to do it and I know my reason my three requirements for a body mod
I have come to realise just how awesome I am those who are trash fear me for they can see that I am real they know I am a threat to the lie’s they live. |
